I Love Kissing But Not Sex – How Asexuality Transformed My Life – With Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy

I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana  about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”

It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”

I was absolutely horrified!

This was the worst thing I could have been told…

I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?

To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.

It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!

Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…

… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.

So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???

What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???

Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?

Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???

I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.

What a load of bullshit.

And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.

So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…

I love kissing but not sex podcast interview.

Becoming An Asexual Entrepreneur On Dreams ARE Real Podcast Interview

As asexuality is a sexual orientation largely based on a lack of sexual attraction, it can be hard to make our own voice heard.

Especially as sexual stereotypes and societal conditioning tell everyone that it’s natural to like, want, and need sex, and that anyone who says otherwise must be lying or have something wrong with them.

People tend to discard what they don’t understand.

They tend to disregard what is considered as “not” normal.

And they tend to feel extremely uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit in with their ideology. 

But I encourage you to always stand proud of who you are, and to stop listening to what other people say, that drowns out the sound of your own voice. 

Asexuals have as much right to speak out about how they think and feel, including if they don’t like, want, or need sex, and have the right to be taken seriously. 

Just because asexuality is a minority sexuality, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong and not normal. 

It’s normal for SOME people to not like, want, need, or get the urge for, partnered sexual intercourse, ever. 

Don’t let anyone blind you into believing we are all the same – because we are not. 

There ARE people who never want sex, and that’s okay. 

The only reason most people don’t speak out, is because other’s ridicule them and tell you, you can’t be who you are born to be. 

I am here to show you, you can. 

That your life is your own and that speaking up, in your own voice, is essential to live your own life dreams and no one else’s. Regardless of your sexuality.

That’s why I’m thrilled to be able to give a voice to the voiceless, and share my own asexual life journey of how I became known as The Asexual Entrepreneur and explain what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and how to live your asexual dreams and be your true authentic self, no matter what, on the Dreams ARE Real podcast.

Don’t miss this ACE episode by listening through either of the links below, now, and tell me what you think…

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-182-becoming-an-asexual-entrepreneur-with/id1480067188?i=1000558237426

Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)

Ever heard of asexuality? Or thought you might be asexual, because you just don’t feel the same way about sex as others do?

“The book was a revelation for me. It showed me, not just through Sandra’s view, but through the perspective of 46 other people, that asexuality wasn’t something that made me broken, and that many other people shared at least some of my experiences. And also that maybe I wasn’t destined to be alone forever.”

Check out this full review of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book. And don’t forget to go to Amazon and grab your copy now! Here https://amzn.to/3LpCiJC

A Voice in the Void

I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon.

The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with the extended title “LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACEelebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY”.

Asexual Perspectives was released in 2017 by Sandra Bellamy, who has her own publishing imprint.

Before I discovered asexuality, in 2014, I thought that I was alone and broken. Even once I had discovered asexuality, for the first few years it was still difficult to come to terms with. Most people weren’t asexual, and most of my relationships/dating experiences were failures because they were all with sexual people, and I simply had no interest in sexual activity. I had tried to do some sexual…

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10 Year Blogging Anniversary Quirky Books

Wow! 10 years today I started this Quirky Books blog. I just took this screenshot on my phone to celebrate.

It took me over 6.5 years for Quirky Books to be registered as my own Publishing Imprint, which was and still is, a dream come true. My first book I published in print under Quirky Books, was my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, in June 2017. I am currently working hard to get my second book for asexuals finished. This one is called Asexual Guide To Sex.

Thank you for joining me on the journey into print. One heck of a ride of a writing ride it’s been so far, and many more writing thrills are to come. I love writing books that change lives. It’s my life purpose, a part of my soul, and who I am. Writing makes my soul at peace, when nothing else can touch it in that way. It’s quite profound.

This beautiful Angel I got to see for the first time this week, (Wed, the day before the 2nd UK Lockdown), in 7.5 months. My daughter furry kid guinea pig Angel guine pig, lives with my parents as she is diabetic and I can’t inject her, as I have a genuine fear of needles and blood, and I had a panic attack in the vets, trying to inject her, when she was first diagnosed.

I cannot tell you how happy I was to see my baby girl after all this time. My heart had been pounding for her and missing her so much. I felt a lot of pain. But my mum is high risk category in at least 3 ways, and has a low immune system, so she has had to self isolate for months and I can’t go over to my parents home to see her. So I got her a new day trip cage that she loves, and she came to visit me for 8 hours. The time just flew by.

Angel in her new day trip cage.

Angel loved to see me as much as I adored seeing her, and we had so much fun together. She is being taken by me and my dad next week, for a checkup at the vets. Dad will collect me. She hasn’t had her blood levels tested for a while and needs a few things checking, but otherwise she is a happy and healthy, beautiful girl.

I haven’t blogged here much lately, because I have been so busy with a new Store Sales Manager job I started on October 2nd. So after almost 3 years of working from home, I now have a day job again. It’s taken some time to get used to, but at least I am fortunate enough to have a day job, when thousands of people are redundant in the UK. I am currently furloughed from that job, for the 4 weeks of this UK lockdown.

So I am overjoyed at being a 10 year old blogger, it feels amazing. I want to thank you all for being here, watching my journey and supporting me. I love you all dearly. XxxxxxxX

As always, stay quirky and write soon. Much love Sandra xx

Happy 9 Year Blogging Anniversary To Quirky Books And Published Author Sandra Bellamy At Quirky Books!

Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader in life and say congratulations to yourself. Because if you don’t recognise your own achievements and think they are amazing, why should anyone else? Yes, I have been blogging for over 9 years on this Quirky Books blog and in 2017 I finally registered Quirky Books as my own publishing imprint. It was a very proud moment! To have my own publishing company is a dream come true. I used to always want to be traditionally published, but once I realised I can make more money and have more flexibility over the content of my books, as a self-published Author, and that my books truly change peoples’ lives and stop some people from killing themselves, I realised my life purpose is being fulfilled and I am leaving a true lasting legacy for generations to come!

Recently I had a respiratory infection and lost voice (I could only whisper), and could not do any live streaming on either of my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV or my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel. The doctor told me I must rest to get well, she was concerned that my heartbeat was faster than normal and my temperature was higher than normal. So I rested for 7 days straight. I did try to do a bit of writing on day 4 of my 7 days of antibiotics, but started to feel dizzy again, so had to stop it. My first stream was only a few hours ago on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, since getting my voice back. The one thing I am very grateful and thankful for, if I ever lost my voice completely for good, which I would never wish to ever do, as I love talking, educating others, and have a gift for YouTube live streaming, then at least I would still be able to do my main passion and life purpose of writing, which is a huge relief!

So yeah, always live with passion and purpose in your heart and write what you want, like and love, and just be quirky you, as no one does you better xx

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

What is the number one most powerful word to increase productivity? Productivity Hack!

In the face-paced world we live in, it can be all too easy to get caught up in social media scrolling and other people’s conversations and lives, so much so, that we can end up becoming a slave to other people’s agendas, which is never a good thing.

In the video above, which is from my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel, I explain to you in a recorded live stream, what the number one most powerful word is to increase your productivity, so you know how to increase your productivity super quickly. Watch the video now and don’t forget to subscribe for life hacks, on how to live your best life, be your best self, and live your purpose! As it was recorded live the sound may not be the best, but the beauty of a live stream is anyone can come on the stream at any point and ask me any questions they like in chat, on how to live your best life, be your best self, and live your purpose. If you click that bell icon after you have subscribed, you will get notified of every time I post a new video or go live, so you can chat to me in real time. If you are already subscribed, go to my channel and make sure the bell icon is pressed.

As always, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

Quirky Quotes For Beautifully Quirky People – Quirky Books!

Some people believe that being different is not good, as they don’t fit in. They can be seen by society as an oddball, weird, strange, eccentric, and far out. But what you have to remember, is being different is very beautiful and that if you are different, it is because you are born for the purpose of standing out from a crowd, and this means there is an underlying reason why you are alive and you have a specific purpose and reason why you are on this earth. If you were meant to be on this earth, and go about your daily life like everyone else, you would not be blessed with the ability to survive as an individualist, in fact, if you dig deep, you will find that you are not just born for surviving, you are born for far more than the average person, because you are not average, you are unique, and different, and that means you are a special, chosen one. But chosen for what? Is what you must always seek the answer to throughout your life. Even when you think you have achieved that or got that, you will know there are other life missions just around the corner to stretch and grow you as a person and your magnificent brain.

Yes, everyone is different, but not everyone knows it, feels it, or acts like it. Not everyone is being true to themselves or living their true authentic life. But you know, if you are consciously aware of your difference, that you cannot help but be different, it’s because you are, and your mission must always be to find out your why in life, and your bigger why, and the bigger picture. Make this your mission to always seek answers and allow your intuition to guide you and find them!!

Until next time, always stay your beautiful quirky self and write soon, Sandra xx

P.S. If you are looking for a Quirky Book, you can check out my www.quirky-books.com or www.quirkybooks.net site or check out my shop page on Amazon http://amzn.to/2Evf30M

P.P.S. To find out more about me, check out www.sandrabellamy.com and www.sandrabellamy.co.uk

Sandra Bellamy Quirky Books With Thought Leaders Jack Canfield And Robin Sharma!

This is a quick post. I just wanted to share with you that I am so thrilled to be with thought leaders Jack Canfield and Robin Sharma in The Book Of Why And How by Corey Poirier, giving my own quote to inspire you live your purpose! This makes me feel awesome to be on the same page as them!

Keep believing in your goals, ambitions and dreams, and know that they can come true – I am living proof of that! Get your copy here http://amzn.to/2FBpoXg

As always, keep being quirky you.

Write soon.

Lots of love

Sandra xx

 

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Life Quotes By Sandra Bellamy

You Have The Power Within You! Motivational/Inspirational Poem By Sandra Bellamy LIVESTREAM!

 

You Have The Power Within You was the first Motivational/Inspirational poem I have done on a LiveStream – check it out and let me know what you think in the comments below??

Everbody has the power within them to achieve great things, I always remember what Entrepreneur, Author and Speaker, Brendon Burchard say, “honour the struggle” and “your current circumstances do not dictate your future” – this is true! In 2018, I am going to be an online course trainer for myself, teaching others personal and professional development stuff, as well as getting other experts onboard – cannot wait! Super excited about that!!

I have had a lot of challenges over the past couple of months:

• Redundancy from my day job of 5 years that I enjoyed (everything happens for a reason)
• 10 websites hacked – only just got every one of them back to some form of normality last week! ( Learnt a ton about websites security and using CPanel/File Manager, MyPHP Admin, MySQL, and more of a pro now, so hopefully it won’t happen again with the amount of security I now have in place on each site) and my completely new websites www.sandrabellamy.com and www.sandrabellamy.co.uk that I rebuilt from scratch, are looking good! Check them out and let me know what you think in the comments below please??
• Split up with my first asexual boyfriend I ever had as he was no good for me and turned out not to be the loving and smitten person with me, that I thought he was! Now looking forward getting a more trustworthy guy for me and one who values my worth, or staying single forever, but hugely career focused for the next year – 2018!
• Commercial printer (only printer I have, out of action for a month – finally got it working again in the last week!)
• Appliance I bought was safety recalled (got a better model at no extra charge, and difference in cost with the higher insurance paid for me)
• Have done no more work on Fibro book since being made redundant and I have people wanting to buy it (have connected online with more Fibro sufferers though, who may end up buying it)

I have decided to live more as ‘quirky’ me since being made redundant and sleep in the day and work throughout the night now usually – great for the soul and far more productive – If I get a ‘normal’ job it will be hard, as I love my life so much right now, in this moment, and forever – but I need money coming in! So we shall have to see what destiny holds for me. I am not afraid of hard work and do that every day almost – apart from the odd day if I see a friend! Even then, if I can squeeze work in then I will!! But next year needs to be more implementation, risk taking, and far more productive for me. Next year, will be my year to shine! Watch this space!

As always, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx