Ever heard of asexuality? Or thought you might be asexual, because you just don’t feel the same way about sex as others do?
“The book was a revelation for me. It showed me, not just through Sandra’s view, but through the perspective of 46 other people, that asexuality wasn’t something that made me broken, and that many other people shared at least some of my experiences. And also that maybe I wasn’t destined to be alone forever.”
Check out this full review of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book. And don’t forget to go to Amazon and grab your copy now! Here https://amzn.to/3LpCiJC
I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon.
The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with the extended title “LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACEelebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY”.
Asexual Perspectives was released in 2017 by Sandra Bellamy, who has her own publishing imprint.
Before I discovered asexuality, in 2014, I thought that I was alone and broken. Even once I had discovered asexuality, for the first few years it was still difficult to come to terms with. Most people weren’t asexual, and most of my relationships/dating experiences were failures because they were all with sexual people, and I simply had no interest in sexual activity. I had tried to do some sexual…
In 2010, when I started this www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog, I knew one day I wanted Quirky Books to be my own publishing company, and in 2017, I achieved that dream, when I became a registered publisher is the UK under the name of Quirky Books.
If you are a writer who struggles to get into major bookstores with your Indie book, then you know what a huge achievement this it. If you do a Google you will see extensive research for how to ‘try’ to get your books into major bookstores. For me, I did a ton of research of what to do to reach the maximum amount of readers and bookstores, before I even read those blog posts, and before I registered as a publisher in my own right. I wanted to set myself up for success from the start. That’s why a 35 year old publishing house said I ‘successfully’ published this book, and they owned up to being unlikely to meet my sales expectations, when they wanted to have the book for their own company, remove half of the stories in it, give them all my reviews, and said I would have to ask for their permission to quote from my own book! No thank you! That’s what I said. They told me my Asexual guide To Sex – the book I am currently working hard to finish, would sell, but they weren’t prepared to take it on because it’s too risky for them, as it’s uncensored, and basically it doesn’t just paint a pretty picture of sex. But tells the good, bad, and fugly (fuck ugly) truth about sex, that everyone wants to know but is afraid to ask. They want me to propose my next 2 asexual books to them, written in their style! Well I was considering it as my dream years ago, was to be a published Author by a major publishing house, but at 10%-12% net sales, when I can make more myself and have the freedom of not censoring my books and of growing my own publishing company and brand name, it seems like an unwise choice to now do that.
My vision for Quirky Books is to continue to write high quality, predominantly non-fiction books, that change people’s lives. And to be raw, real, fresh, uncensored – Quirky – different! If I have the opportunity to write other books – such as kids books – I have already written one of these and finished it years ago, and it’s something I was to do, then I will. I haven’t published it yet as I need to pay for an illustrator and I am not well known in the kid’s market. But I will likely test the popularity of this book out as an audio book later this year. As it’s a book that rhymes, for 3-5 years old, it will sound great as an audio book, and I already have a single image for the front cover from years ago. Whoop! Whoop!
I now have people coming to me asking me how I got my book into major book stores. And contemplating shall I tell them all my secrets or not! Maybe some, all! Or maybe I will write a book about it! After all, the proof is in the pudding! If this is something you would be interesting to learn more about and you want a step-by-step guide on how to do this – let me know in the comments below and if there is enough demand for it, I might write a book about how you can do this too.
I’m so proud this book is now available to buy from Waterstones. Especially as it’s very difficult for Indie Authors to get in this store. If you read their section about Indie Authors, you will know they only take on a small percentage of Indie Author’s published work. It’s a great achievement for me personally, as a Writer, Author and Publisher, and for asexuality, as it’s a minority sexual orientation that is still barely unheard of, and deeply misunderstood.
There is nothing more exciting and rewarding for a writer/published Author, than changing people’s lives through your own written words. But being interviewed about your non-fiction author journey and book, is just the icing on the cake.
Listen to my interview about Asexuality and my personal Asexual story on the Straight Up Gay Podcast – and no, I am not gay, I am a heteroromatic asexual – attracted to guys (hetero), I don’t want sex, love kissing and romance, but asexuality is tagged onto the LGBT+ QIA Acronym. Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual. Although Asexuality is about who you are not sexually attracted to – no one, whereas the other identities are based on who they are sexually attracted to.
If you haven’t yet checked out my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book on Amazon, it is an insightful read, even if you are not asexual, so be sure to check it out now!! http://amzn.to/2gKnsDs
In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?
Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.
Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!
If you identify as asexual do you –
Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?
Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.
In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!
In this book you will:
•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.
•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.
•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!
•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.
•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.
•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.
•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.
•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.
•Uncover the positives about being asexual.
•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.
I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.
Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.
It feels so fabulous to finally have Quirky Books as my own publishing company (after over 6 years of working towards it), and have my first paperback print book out!! And it feels incredibly out of this world to see 5 other online retailers selling my book!! I cannot tell you how it feels like I am floating on air right now!!
So no matter where you are in your life, your can achieve your dreams and never, ever give up, fight for it, to the death if you have to!!
This awesome Asexual Perspectives Unboxing video is from an avid Asexualise fan. I could feel his excitement come through the screen. Watch it and see what you think!!
I feel so very blessed to have interviewed 46 Asexuals around the globe for this 560 page book – it is a very different Asexual book!!! And it feels wonderful as an author, to know that my book is making a difference to other’s lives, this is why my number one passion is writing – the ability to literally change lives through the written word, just cannot be beat. And when it is teamed with my other passion, asexuality, it feels like I am floating on a bed of aceness!! Thanks for all your support, stay quirky and write soon xx Get the book here http://amzn.to/2tu7EsE And it is on Amazon Expanded Distribution so you can request it in book stores!!
QUIRKY BOOKS PUBLISHES ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES IN PRINT UNBOXING VIDEO – IN A LAND FAR FAR AWAY #APAM Check out the video and pay attention to the very beginning Star Wars style intro. It requires very careful reading, but you will love it. It is all about having a Quirky dream and achieving it!! Quirky Books first book in print is out now, Asexual Perspectives is out now in print!!! Check it out in Kindle and print format here http://amzn.to/2sK5a5G
Despite the fact I have been off work with a nasty virus, and on Monday Chestnut had to have an unexpected minor eye op that she had to have a quick dose of anaesthetic for; I got a wonderful expected surprise on Wed, 28th of June, when my first ever Quirky Books print version of my Asexual Perspectives book proofs arrived. Yes, after over 6 Years, Quirky Books is an official imprint, so not only is it the first time my writing has ever been in print format, it is the first of my actual own book publishing company printed books. This deserves 3 cheers, hip, hip, hooray, hip, hip, hooray, hip, hip, hooray! I figure if you can’t cheer yourself on in life, why should anyone else bother to!
To hold my book in my hands felt wonderful to say the least. And one huge benefit of being a publishing imprint and having a book in print, is I have to send a copy of my book to the British Library by law and up to 5 other libraries if they request it! This means there will always be a record of the invaluable information contained within this book for generations to come and it becomes part of our English heritage, and with my huge mission of getting Asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again, this means so very much. I know this information will live on, long after I have gone, and this is the most incredibly powerful feeling that no other profession can give me; the power of the written word to change lives, and make a lasting impression on those lives already in existence!
Remember, if you are rejected by traditional publishers, or you just want to take ultimate control of your writing and publishing, just create your own destiny and get into self-publishing, it’s not for the faint-hearted but the life long rewards of changing lives through the written word, will be worth it. Xx
To celebrate the print version of my Asexual Perspectives book going live to buy around the globe next month, I have founded Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month from 1st-31st July 2017, a whole month of celebrating our Asexuality all across the spectrum and our individuality within it, which is a core central message of the book! If you want to get involved like http://www.facebook.com/acexualise one of my pages for Asexuals on Facebook. Also subscribe to http://www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife to see a brand new video every day, related to a topic in the book, for 31 consecutive days. There will be Facebook challenges, Facebook Lives, quotes from the book. It’s going to be ace. Use #APAM in your Tweets and when sharing across social media, and don’t forget to check out Asexual Perspectives on Amazon.
Until next time, write soon and stay quirky
Sandra xx Aka Quirky Books and Asexualise (3 names in 1, can’t be bad, like 3 for the price of 1 – priceless! Ha! I am in a happy, funny mood, despite not being in tip top physical health).
I recently went to the Business Showcase South West in Bristol #BSSW. There were lots of seminars throughout the day, including one that featured Jordan Daykin, who won investment from Deborah Meaden in the hit Entrepreneur TV Show Dragon’s Den! He was only 18 when he won that investment in 2014 – making him only 21 years now and his business GripIt – is now worth over £14,000,000. It was awesome to hear his inspirational story!!
I did a live 5 minute pitch to 2 people, to be a TedX Speaker about Asexuality at the next TedX Bristol event in November this year. I already applied with a 1 minute video pitch, 100 word pitch and a bio! And my application has not yet made it or been declined. If you don’t know what TedX is, it is a local Ted talk – or rather talk(s) on stage, on a particular subject that a person has experience or knowledge about – which often makes them seen as an expert. The last Bristol TedX in 2015, had all 1800 seats sold out and about 2000 attended. It is the biggest TedX talk in the UK and possibly in Europe. All speakers are voluntary and the money goes back into a bigger and better show for next time. If I got it, it would be truly life changing for both me and asexuals around the globe – especially since some Ted talks are viewed on YouTube in their thousands and millions. Keep your fingers, toes, and everything crossed, that I make the final cut!! Pitching to be a speaker continues until July – so I have to wait and see! I know at least I tried and will have no regrets as I have done all I can to get through, and although I think I will be good at speaking on stage, in front of that many people is something I will need to be brave to do – but I am a warrior, so it will all be good!! And let’s face it, I was born to be on stage really!! Just have to push myself to do it and go for it!!
If you want to try something in life and have been thinking about it for a while – I say, go for it!! Life is too short!! Keep writing and stay quirky – always xx
Oh and if you have not got a copy of my Asexual Perspectives book yet, you should!! It is great to know about all sexualities because you never know who you will meet that may be the love of your life and if they are Asexual, it is really important to understand them!!
On Thursday this week I went to the Devon County Show on the outskirts of Exeter; which is the city where I live in Devon, in the UK.
I would say it is predominantly crafts and countryside driven. Which means there are lots of crafters around. These poppies in the picture are all hand knitted but look so real. My dad is a retired blacksmith who does regular blacksmithing courses at the same place where the Devon County Show is held. He also enters the show’s blacksmithing competitions and this year he won a prize for his poker being chosen by Sophie – the Countess Of Wessex! Who is married to Prince Edward. He also got a second and third prize for other categories.
What I love about the Devon County Show, is that it shows off so much creative talent and skills, from art, to hand made soap and fudge; to the latest in technology; to outdoor clothing, spa pools and both indoor and outdoor furniture. It really is a mixture. The show is on for 3 consequetive days and it ends today.
I loved watching the screen of the guy with the headset on. He was in outer space in a 360 immersive experience, and he had to climb a ladder on the outside of the aircraft. A guy who was 80+ years old had a go on it after this guy, and did not want to stop!!
So often crafts and technology are thought of as polar opposites; one bring artsy, the other more scientific. But both this and the other crafts, all require a great deal of creative thinking and action taking to produce the outcome. Someone still needs to create the virtual reality world. As a writer, I know what an enjoyable but sometimes painstaking experience the action taking can be. The experience of writing non-fiction, is not the painful part, but the editing, typsetting and everything else, can be tough. I am on the 3rd Typsetter for my Asexual Perspectives print version of my book!! I won’t be paying someone to format for me in ‘Latex’ in the future. #lessonlearnt