I Love Kissing But Not Sex – How Asexuality Transformed My Life – With Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy

I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”

It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”

I was absolutely horrified!

This was the worst thing I could have been told…

I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?

To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.

It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!

Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…

… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.

So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???

What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???

Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?

Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???

I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.

What a load of bullshit.

And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.

So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…

I love kissing but not sex podcast interview.

Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories Book Review On Pride Matters Blog!

My Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book was reviewed on Pride Matters Blog Source: Asexual Perspectives

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES 47 ASEXUAL STORIES 5 STAR BOOK REVIEW FROM A NEWBIE TO ASEXUALITY!!!

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative!

ByKerryon July 26, 2017

Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

For something that I knew nothing about, this book was an upfront and personal invitation to dialogue with the asexuality community. I’m appreciative to the author for her dedication to give voice and visibility to a sexual orientation that currently has little in modern society and media. It’s amazing how different the people in this book are and how different their stories are. I thank them for their bravery and willingness to share their lives.

If you or someone else would like a harmless, cheap, enlightening, insightful, serious, and even entertaining read, then this is your next book.

I was absolutely thrilled to read this Awesome 5 Star Asexual Perspectives book review, from someone who is completely new to asexuality. They obviously thoroughly enjoyed reading Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories Book so much, and captured the spirit of this book in their review words. I was so happy they not only liked reading the book, but that the praise and recognition for the visibility of our orientation, is so greatly received.

This feels so good as a writer, that people love my written work, and it is written that well that people outside our asexual orientation, can understand it.

Never give up on your writing dreams.

Stay quirky always, and write soon.

Sandra

xxxx

Asexuality Awareness Week – How to Understand Asexual People in 8 steps!!

In case you did not know, this week is Asexuality Awareness Week and I found this really useful post from https://nosexplease1.wordpress.com explaining what it means to be asexual, please check it out.

Asexuals are basically people who are not sexually attracted to other people (any gender). Some people might think they have a disorder or mental illness, that is not true! Here is a simple comic f…

Source: How to Understand Asexual People in 8 steps

Be Loved Up On Life – Quirky Love Video One

I am thrilled to be able to bring you, Be Loved Up On Life – Quirky Love Video One, in a series of six, in the run up to Valentine’s Day. Prepared to be quirked. This is a series of Love videos like no other. Prepare to have conventions broken and stereotypes challenge. This is your Quirky Books TV channel, subscribe and join in the Quirky conversation and fun, right now!

These videos are something different for me. Your views matter and I would love to have your feedback, on YouTube, or on here. Please tell me what you think.

Keep Embracing Your Quirky and write soon.

Sandra

Who Else, is Young, Free and Asexy?

Hi everyone

It’s time to celebrate Asexual Awareness Week.

Being quirky and different, it will come as no surprise to you that I am asexual. A heteromatic, grey asexual cougar, to be precise. I only discovered this around March/April time this year and I have to say the Asexual communities are awesome. It’s great to be able to chat online with like-minded people, who have a similar sense of humour and share some of the same values and beliefs as me. Of course, being completely quirky, I am a grey asexual, meaning that I don’t quite fit any specific type and it’s almost impossible to find a suitable romantic match. So for now, I will continue to be, young, free and Asexy – Well, I will let you decide on the latter.

There are so many variables with the asexual spectrum and someone who says they are just asexual, means they don’t experience sexual attraction. A lot of asexuals won’t want or care for sex, or be bothered about it one way or the other. A lot won’t like much kissing, if any at all.

What does a heteromantic, grey asexual cougar mean for me? Well, being quirky should give it away.

I categorically don’t like sex. I experience romantic and sensual attraction, and usually to guys, and only guys, who younger than me. Often in their early to mid twenties. Mostly foreign guys actually. I get attracted to their face and can relate well to guys that age group, as most of my male friends are in their early to mid twenties. I love lots of kissing and affection, which is where the grey area comes into it. I also don’t want kids or marriage, which a lot of asexual people do.

Never be afraid to be who you are. I don’t fit into the social norms, I break conventions and it’s great. I love embracing my quirky. Otherwise, I would be living for others and not me. So be who you want to be and enjoy your life implicitly.

Who else is young, free and Asexy?

Who else thinks they may be asexual, but not sure?

If you think you may be asexual or want to know more about it here is a link to a helpful site: http://www.asexuality.org You can also search for asexual groups on Facebook.