Finally Found My Asexual Love: Love Poem By Sandra Bellamy – Soulmates Do Exist, So NEVER Give Up!


In love this love poem, I think it is one of my favourites that I have spoken. What do you think?

Soulmates do exist, so never give up! I knew I had a soulmate since 10, I did not know he is asexual until 2014, and since then I have been searching on Asexual Dating sites and in Asexual Facebook groups to find him, and then I found him in my own Asexualise Dating group, for those who are asexual (lack sexual attraction), and looking to have a serious relationship with another asexual, with no sex ever.

Some people believe in soulmates and some do not. I have believed I have a soulmate since 10, and finally we have found each other. He believed he had one too. In order to achieve something, you have to believe in it 100%, and I did and do, and it is like a dream come true for me. As I knew the types of things he would say, and there he is saying them naturally. We are already like best friends and it is amazing. Thank goodness love exists without sex and so do soulmates too – you just have to believe!!

I have now been made redundant form my day job and I thought this is a great opportunity to work on my own businesses more, then yesterday 5 of my websites got hacked and currently all of them are offline until I get the problem fixed, which requires extensive time or a fair amount of money. This is a temporary set-back and I believe 100% in my Quirky Academy, but may have to go back into a day job for a bit, as I wasn’t planning on leaving my day job until the end of next year when my own businesses are in a better financial shape.

I am still working on my “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar” book, and have people wanting to buy it and waiting for it to be published.

Lots of love to all of you for your continued support and for being quirky you of course xx

Write soon and stay quirky

Sandra xx

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ASEXUAL LOVE AT LAST! LOVE WITHOUT SEX DEFINITELY EXISTS!


So after being single for almost 6 years, and searching for my Asexual soulmate for over 3 years since 2014 on Asexual dating sites www.asexualitic.com and www.ace-book.net , I finally found him in my own Asexualise Dating Facebook group, that is strictly for asexuals only, who want to date and find a committed forever relationship/s without sex ever. So from Monday 1st of October we became in an official asexual relationship. I am really thrilled about this, love without sex definitely exists with us.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation, that is barely unheard of and deeply misunderstood. It means a lack of sexual attraction that makes up about 1% of the world population, that is 1 in every 100 are asexual.

So in broad terms an asexual person is someone who does not get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sex (intercourse). Although some may still have it to please their sexual partner or because they enjoy it as an activity to do, like a board game. I have had sex in the past but would rather not have done. That was before I realised I am a heteroromantic asexual, not a heterosexual. I actually define myself as a Heteroromantic, Hyper-romantic, Grey A, Asexual, Younger Cougar, who does not like sex, just kissing. That means I get attracted romantically to the opposite sex – guys, just not sexually; I am extremely romantic to the extent that would be incomprehensible to some who are not like that, so I can fall in love easily, over a few texts messages or Skype sessions for example – I have been managing that well, so trying to refrain from doing that, but yeah, I love my guy, but we have known each more than that, so it’s fine. And I literally love the romance that Disney movies are made of and making it come to reality! I feel loved up almost 24/7 just with myself!

I have grey areas, so my body gets aroused, but I still have no need, want or urge, for sex, ever.

I am Grey A, which I define as having Grey Areas, because I experience high levels of arousal and can get aroused in my body, by myself, without touching anything or thinking about anyone, or from just thinking about the word aroused, or thinking about kissing, and also by actual kissing. I never go to look at porn, that is personally yuk to me, and if I happen to talk about sex, which happens more as I help a lot of people discover if they are asexual or not, and asexuals often talk more about what they physically can and can’t cope with and like than sexuals do, or I see some sexual images by accident pop up in my Twitter feed for example – and I block them, unfortunately it can set off my arousal, even though I hate sex and sex personally repulses me these days, for me – not for others. People think arousal and sexual attraction are the same thing but they are not, although for sexuals they can be intertwined, as one can instantly lead to the other, for asexuals they are usually separate. Just think, if you touch your genitalia, you are likely to get aroused – think masturbation, but for asexuals, if they do that, it is usually to release arousal feelings with no desire for sex. Some do it for other reasons such as to de-stress or use it as a tool to go to sleep.

I am an asexual cougar means I get attracted to guys who are younger than me and in my case usually foreign, (although my soulmate is British born he still has a foreign looking face from his mum’s side of the family), and I only want a relationship with a younger guy but to be romantic with, kiss, cuddle, hold hands, not have sex with. A nd in my case I am also nudity repulsed and have no desire to see a guy naked below the waist.

My Asexual guy lives in London in the UK and can relocate, he is also a heteroromantic, hyper-romantic and sex repulsed. He is not into nudity either, but loves passionate kissing like I do and is quite happy to be with someone older in birth certificate age. Although younger, he is older in birth certificate age than I would usually go for, and he is not that much younger, but it doesn’t matter as he is adorable and looks younger in person and has an incredibly amazing personality and I feel so lucky and blessed to have found him, at last!! We both like doing young stuff.  We have quite a lot of other stuff in common and get on really well and he is coming to see me for 5 days next month and I can’t wait. I am super excited about that!

If you want to know more about asexuality, I wrote a book called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity, and I have a website www.asexualise.com, and be sure to like www.facebook.com/acexualise And you can find the biggest online community of asexuals at www.asexuality.org

I would love to read your feedback on this.

Have you heard of asexuality before?

If you have a partner, whether they are sexual or asexual, how long did it take to find the partner of your dreams?

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

Writing Challenge! Spice It Up!!


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Instead of: Nice Use: Gracious
Instead of: Hard Use: Challenging
Instead of: Good Use: Splendid
Instead of: Bad Use: Dreadful
Instead of: Sad Use: Somber
Instead of: Happy Use: Content
Instead of: Like Use: Treasure
Instead of: Mean Use: Malicious
Instead of: See Use: Glimpse
Instead of: Think Use: Deem
Instead of: Big Use: Colossal
Instead of: Little Use: Petite
Instead of: Walked Use: Shuffled
Instead of: Ran Use: Sprinted
Instead of: Laughed Use: Snickered
Instead of: Yelled Use: Wailed

What words do you substitute for others, to spice up your writing?

I am currently about three quarters of the way through writing my short book, “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar”, as always with my Quirky Books, I with be giving you a different and unconventional approach to this illness for life and telling you some of my very quirky and unconventional ways of managing it; to lead a happy, vibrant and energetic life.

As always, stay quirky and write soon.

Sandra xxxx

How To Write A Book The Easy Way!!!!


A book starts with one word
Writing a book is easy

1. Big Picture – Start with a one-line summary of your novel
2. Three Acts – Write a synopsis including the 3 acts of your book
3. Spotlight – Write one-page descriptions on each character (very important)
4. Location, Location, Location – Build the setting(s) and determine their significance
5. I or You – Decide on the P.O.V. – it can make or break your novel!
6. It’s About Time – Create a pace between scenes and be consistent
7. Pen to Paper – Write your first draft (and then your 2nd, 3rd…)
8. Edit Out – Self-edit and then send out to a Editor
9. Edit In – Revise and Rewrite
10. Off to the Presses – Publish your book. Just do it!
11. Go out and celebrate, because you deserve it!

 

I am currently working on my latest non-fiction Quirky Book, “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar”, there is a subtitle too. I started to write some of it in draft form about 6-8 weeks ago, and as Lady Gaga recently came out about having Fibromyalgia, I thought it’s time to type it up and finish writing it. This is challenging for me, as now I have finished typing up most of draft, I am having to type up the book straight from my head to the Mac screen. It is really hard doing his, but good to stretch and challenge me at the same time. It is something I have not tried to do much of. As I am writing the majority of the book like this and still having to make it impactful and logical in order, I think this is a writing skill that is on another level entirely. It requires a humongous degree of focus and determination, and of thinking on my brain feet. I am still making little notes and prompts to help me, as the book is unfolding, and still have  a few notes and points to add, that I already made. I am slower than I would like to be, but this is a quality short book, so I don’t want to rush it and not make it as good as it can be, without it going on forever. I have learnt that perfectionism can kill the writer, just as much as procrastination, and one can lead to the other anyway. So I am going to do my best, then hit that publish button and believe it is good enough. But I still have much work to do on it, as it is a deep book that not many will have thought about the content for, as I am presenting it. You know that every book I write is different and a Quirky Book, and as usual, I will be crossing over genres. This book is an autobiographical, How-To, self-help book. And will be a fabulous read. You can pick up some skills from it, even if you don’t have Fibro. I have also got a Fab outfit for the AD … All will be revealed in the future xxxx

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xxxxxxxx

INSPIRATIONAL WRITING QUOTE – WRITING QUENCHES THE SOUL THAT NOTHING ELSE CAN REACH!!


SOUL QUENCHING WRITING QUOTE

Writing literally does quench my soul that nothing else can reach. I love it so much. To be a full-time writer is my dream. I have started my next Kindle Quirky Book that should be coming out in print format too, but this one is different again, on subject matter, to the ones that are already out.

Lady Gaga recently came out as having Fibromyalgia, see her post here on Yahoo News https://uk.style.yahoo.com/lady-gaga-revealed-suffering-fibromyalgia-115833694.html

Something I don’t talk about often, especially on this blog, is the fact I also have this. In a nutshell, it is a chronic pain condition that affects the nerves and muscles of the body. You feel super sensitive to pain and constantly have pain in your body. I don’t like to dwell on it as what we focus on expands, but I have had it since 2012. I manage it well, and use the power of my mind to block out a lot of the pain. It makes my current job search a little more difficult (I am being made redundant for a 3rd time). That is why it is even more important I fulfil my writing dreams.

To cut a long story short, I have felt for some time that I need to write a book about how I unconventionally manage this condition, in the hope to help someone. The only problem is, it causes me more conscious pain to write the book, however, it is something I must do in order to help others. So about 6 or 8 weeks ago, I started to write my book in draft form, and left it for a bit. Then BOOM! On 13th of September, I saw that Lady Gaga article and thought NOW, I must type it up and get that book out, so that is what I started to do on Saturday 16th of September. I am super charging my typing speed. Watch this space – you know it is not going to be a normal, boring book, but a far out, Quirky Book that will pack a quirky punch!! I am really excited about this one!!

Do you know anyone else with this condition? How do they manage it???

Stay quirky and write soon –

Sandra

xx

P.S. If you are also facing redundancy, you will love my Break Through The Barriers Of Redundancy Book – I am using my own book and getting 100% response to my job applications, so it is definitely worth a read.

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CHANGE – INSPIRATIONAL/MOTIVATIONAL POEM BY SANDRA BELLAMY


I am currently going through a huge change in my life because on the 21st of September, I am being made redundant from my day job, after 5 years. My full-time hours are being cut and instead, a part-time weekend only person will be employed. I have the option do just the weekends, or to take the weekend hours for a trial for 4 weekends until 15th of October, then take redundancy, if I don’t find anything else to make up the hours to full-time, as I can’t live on those hours, or take redundancy on the 21st. I am going to go with the middle option of the trial, if I have not got another job by the 21st.

At first I was very fearful, but now I am trying to think positive and look forward to starting a new work life and that new opportunities that will come my way.

I am also going to be focusing more on my Quirky Academy and getting that up and running as my online training centre for entrepreneurs, start-ups and creatives, with specialists teaching in their field – What courses would benefit you right now in your personal and professional development?

Stay quirky

Write soon

Sandra xx

Asexual Author: Asexuality And My Personal Asexual Story On Straight Up Gay Podcast!


Listen to my interview about Asexuality and my personal Asexual story on the Straight Up Gay Podcast – and no, I am not gay, I am a heteroromatic asexual – attracted to guys (hetero), I don’t want sex, love kissing and romance, but asexuality is tagged onto the LGBT+ QIA Acronym. Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual. Although Asexuality is about who you are not sexually attracted to – no one, whereas the other identities are based on who they are sexually attracted to.

https://pinecast.com/player/0b589f01-df23-4648-99b0-bfc899dc7bf8?theme=minimal

Here is the link to iTunes
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-straight-up-gay-podcast/id1191090742?mt=2&i=1000391267315

If you haven’t yet checked out my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book on Amazon, it is an insightful read, even if you are not asexual, so be sure to check it out now!! http://amzn.to/2gKnsDs

In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?

Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.

Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!

If you identify as asexual do you –

Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?

Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.

In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!

In this book you will:

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.

Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.

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Thorpe Park MOS Virtual Reality Weekend Away!


Fresh fruit
Fresh Fruit Salad made especially for me by a beautiful Indian guy

F1 Car at DoubleTree By Hilton Hotel Woking.

F1 Car At Hilton Woking

Darren Brown Ghost Ride Mug

Derren Brown Ghost Train Mug

Thorpe Park Ghost Train Ride Mug
Derren Brown Thorpe Park Ride Mug.
F1 side view at Hilton Woking Hotel
F1 car side view at DoubleTree Hotel in Woking.

I spent last weekend away at Thorpe Park Ministry Of Sound (MOS) event. Which meant a special deal of a Park Ticket for Saturday with Sunday free, accesss to late night riding on Saturday night, and the Ministry of Sound event also on Saturday night from 11-3am. Plus, a one night stay at the DoubleTree for Hilton Woking Hotel, that has a formula one car and an awesome breakfast with comfortable rooms. All for £110, which was amazing value for money. I also had to pay for some of the car parking at Thorpe Park, that was £7 a day, and give the person I went with £50 in petrol money, and buy food and snacks. I still think it was great value – despite being told I am being made redundant from my day job, only the day before; the day before the trip. Told on a Thursday and trip was on Sat. I was super excited to be going and I went on 3 rides I had never been on before, including Saw, the Swarm, and Derren Brown’s ghost train – which was why I bought the mug and it was a fantastic virtual reality experience.

Sadly, I went with a guy I was dating for almost two whole months, and his behaviour was not that of a loving, caring and attentive individual who was into me, but the opposite. Without going into everthing on here. On Saturday day, I was the one who was mostly instigating the affection. I felt ignored in the club after he initially mentioned about a meeting point if we get split up, as soon as we arrived. So it became obvious from the onset that he was not thinking about dancing together. An hour and a half later of almost being ignored in the club and I spoke to him about it, he said to me he preffered to dance on his own. He treated me like just a mate who he happened to have gone with him, both then, and the day after in the park. But my friends treat me better, because they care about me, love me, want to talk to me, and hug me just as a friend. Something happened after the club that was potentially dangerous for me too (not anything sexual – he was respectful of my asexuality and boundaries), and he told me on Saturday day not to trust him. So I broke off seeing him completely the day we got back to Exeter. I realised there were no advantages or benefits to me seeing this guy at all. Yes, I cared for him deeply, but it would seem that in the end, it was a one way street, and I would have had a better time on my own or with a friend who would appreciate me and love spending time specifically with me. So yes, I am still a bit sad but I am also glad to have got away from a situation and person who is blatantly no good for me. He, on the other hand, probably does not care. But I am a caring person and can see some good in almost anyone, but thank goodness I have seen the light.

Always remember how precious you are and so is your life and time. Remember that I love you xx

As always, write soon and stay quirky.

Sandra xx