I write Quirky Books that change peoples' lives.
Quirky Books is my own publishing imprint and I specialise in non-fiction books for specific niches. Asexuality is one of those niches. Written in my own 'quirky' unique style, Quirky Books specialises in books which have out of the box thinking and often with a quirky twist, and are first for crossing some genres.
Writing is my hughest life passion, followed closely by asexuality. As well as an Author, I am best known for being the Presenter/Chat Show Host at Asexualise My Asexual Life, Asexuality chat show on YouTube, specialising in dating, relationships, self-love and self-growth. I was a speaker at the UK Asexuality Conference in London, in July 2018, and yes, I really am ACE Fibro Girl!
With the current pandemic situation, it’s easy to feel like you just want to go to sleep, throw the bed covers over your head and tell the world to “wake me up when it’s over!” But when you realise it’s not going away any time soon, how do you stay positive in dark and difficult times?
Here are 7 ways how to stay positive in dark and difficult times.
Realise tomorrow is done, it’s already gone and in the past, you can’t change it, but you can have control over how you live your life daily, and you can start over each new day.
Worrying won’t help. It won’t solve the problem, but may make it worse. Take control of your life and own your day. So it doesn’t own you. As my Grandma used to say, “You die if you worry, you die you don’t, so why worry?” She had, and still has, a point. Her wise words live on in my soul, even if she is no longer on planet Earth.
Practice gratitude. Write down 5 things you are grateful each day, and/or, say them out loud, when you wake up each morning. It’s hard to feel down when you have so much to be grateful and thankful for.
You have already been through shit in your life, and you know it. So, you can get through this.
This time shall pass and won’t last forever, always remember that.
Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do. Do things that you are passionate about, they make you feel great and awesome. This will keep your spirits high.
Change your state through, music, movement – dancing around your home, comedy. Find things in each and every single day to make you smile. It’s hard to feel sad if you are smiling.
Share this post with someone who needs to hear this right now.
When you love with all your heart,
When you dream with all your soul,
When you find happiness in the smallest of things,
When you decide to let go,
And trust, that things will be okay,
That we will see sunshine,
And happier days.
That this time may be dark,
But it’s never dull,
So we must reach inside,
And refuse to sulk.
We must begin with the end in mind,
To live in the glory and the shine,
For when we look at everything we have achieved,
Normality might have once seemed normal and a breeze,
But we all know normal is a fallacy.
So maybe this is our new normal.
And maybe it’s not,
Life is what you make it,
But this truth you forgot.
So don’t buried your head,
For you are alive,
Wake up in awe,
That you are alive,
Sit back and enjoy,
The small dreams that come to life,
The here and the now,
For time is precious and waits for no one,
In the blink of an eye,
It can be gone,
So take joy to heart,
Let misery go,
For what you reap,
You shall sow.
Reach deep in your heart,
Let love light the way,
Because my dear friend,
If you are reading this,
You have been blessed with another day.
The day is long,
The night is too,
But please keep singing,
The happy song, of YOU!
For darkness may come,
But light will always prevail,
Where there is happiness and joy,
It never fails.
So use what ever tools you can,
Make a wish and seal the plan,
To get your life, heart and joy, back on track,
Believe in yourself,
And make a pact.
For the art of self love,
Of self belief,
Doesn’t come easy,
It’s not like some freebie.
It takes work,
To live for you,
To live with joy,
To find your truth,
And not be coy,
It all takes an incredible amount of time,
But what if right here and now, you decide,
To leave the biggest crime,
The crime that tells you to quit, on yourself,
It doesn’t care about your, or your self health.
The person inside who jeopardises you,
Is this biggest enemy of all to you,
So refuse to quit,
Refuse to settle,
Say thank you for sharing,
But I can do better,
I can fight for joy,
For speaking my own truth,
I can fight for self love,
Self worth, and growth.
I can fight for the kid in me,
The parent, the mother, the daddy,
The zing, zing.
I can nourish my soul,
And bring it to life,
I can be my own kid,
My own husband and wife,
Or I can choose to live a life of quirky,
I can choose to be different and throw away the key,
For at the end of the day,
There is no other,
That this beautiful, unique being, I see in the mirror, daily.
I want to tell you to rise,
To lay you soul bare,
To strip back the garbage,
To become self-aware,
I want to tell you to reach inside,
To find the courage not to hide,
Because in the end,
The only price you pay,
Is your heart, soul, and mind, each day.
Self love is amazing,
Self love is kind,
It’s the key to leaving depression behind.
It’s the key to rising more and more,
For taking your dreams and making them soar,
For being your own light amoung the grey,
For living your life, the crazy way,
For being the light in the night,
For being the calm, in your own internal fight,
It’s the thing you need most now in this world,
Now is a time of reflection,
To become that light,
To listen to your inner intuition and let it take flight.
So here’s to the kid in you,
Here’s to the unique blend, that’s called YOU!
Here’s to your goals, ambitions and dreams,
Here’s to your own stars and moonbeams,
Here’s to the things the naysayers said can’t be done,
Here’s to shining your light, your journey has just begun!
I hope you enjoyed this poem, if you did, please comment and give it a like and be sure to come back for more.
Happy to say that I have an extra Asexual Sex Story for my Asexual Guide To Sex book and all next month my main focus is finishing writing this book. Which will be my second for asexuals.
Writing will always, always, always be the love of my life. I want to write a letter here to my love of my life.
Dear writing I’ve missed you.
I’ve missed you so much, I want to kiss you.
Without you in my life, I feel like I am dying,
And right now I am crying.
I am trying to do the ‘right thing’,
I am trying to do what should bring,
Well you know, the big M thing,
But dear writing you are the only thing,
That makes me come alive,
You are the one thing,
That never tires,
And the one thing I never, ever despise.
Writing is like setting your soul free,
It’s the ONLY way in my opinion,
You can ever leave a true, lasting legacy,
It’s the only way you can truly change the world,
You can light up another’s life,
And make them see,
That all the truth and power,
Lies within thee.
Dear writing I have missed you,
I truly want to kiss you,
You are my heart and soul,
And without you I am dying inside,
If truth be told.
So what happens when we are not doing what we are suppose to be,
Is our body reacts, involuntary,
It shakes us up and makes us see,
We aren’t fulfilling our true destiny,
God, the universe, the powers that be,
Show you the dangers of not living your destiny,
They give you pain, they induce the worst,
To say what the heck do you think you are doing, Why are you not giving your body what it wants and needs,
And denying it’s thirst.
See you may think writing is just that,
But when you truly listen to your soul,
You know it’s far more than that,
When you deny yourself to use the gift you were born with,
Or you denying it, in favour of another it,
It’s like losing a best friend over and over again,
It’s like agony and then some again.
Your body will go crazy,
Your spirit will feel more lazy,
You heart will pine for something you are denying it,
And all for what?
To conform and fit in?
Maybe this was never your intention,
But maybe subconsciously, that’s what you forgot to mention,
Maybe you need to stop denying your body, heart and mind the truth,
And that is, your writing is living proof,
Of exactly why you were put on this earth,
So please go back to it, and live your full worth.
Go back to the joy that you once new,
And connect with that disconnect,
Your soul and body will thank you.
See you never really left it and me and you know this,
But when you think about it, you body is in a mess,
But it’s nothing you can’t fix.
Because within your body, soul, and mind,
You need to have the courage to know this is my time,
Other things can wait,
But this can’t.
Because you need help,
Others need your help,
And the only way to fix this,
Isn’t by doing what others do,
It’s to look after precious you.
It’s about standing up for what you truly believe in,
For taking a stand and not trying to fit in,
It’s about working hard at what you truly love to do,
It’s about reaching for the stars, the light and the moon,
It’s about getting your best friend back and healing you,
It’s about reaching out to your writing and taking it by the hand and singing Grease Lightening,
It’s about remembering the heart and soul of you,
And that writing is you and at the heart of what you do.
It’s about living your life, fulfilling your own purpose and destiny,
It’s about taking charge of your life and living your truth with passion and vigour,
It’s about being you, Sandra Bellamy the writer,
And loving what you do.
It’s about knowing no other occupation will do,
Because writing is your life, it’s your heart, its about you.
When I say it’s about you, you know it’s designed to help others too.
You went through shit,
And you got through it,
You needed that to happen,
To write about it.
You needed to have lived life,
The rough with the smooth,
Now go ahead again,
And prove them wrong.
Be who you are truly born to be,
Don’t hold back,
Don’t come from a place of want and need,
Don’t come from a place of lack.
For when I think about writing,
There is a joy within my heart,
Like nothing I ever feel again,
Nothing ever comes close to this piece of me,
That’s why I have to fulfil my writing destiny.
I want to thank you God and the powers that be,
For manifesting chaos and pain within me,
Because I know you want me to see the truth,
No one and nothing can heal me, but my own self.
So I am going back to writing more,
And opening up my writing door,
And if I have to leave other plans behind I will,
But I think that maybe, just maybe, it’s been about writing all along,
Because I don’t do a business in which I can’t sell books,
I don’t just do a business and this I overlook,
It’s always in the back of my mind,
How can I help more people, using my writing shine!
But right now more than ever, I need to help me,
Because by helping myself, I will always help others you see,
They will always go hand-in-hand for me,
And that’s why I need to fulfil my writing destiny.
I noticed I just used the word need,
But when I use that word in the context of writing,
It’s a need within my soul,
It’s a thirst within my heart,
And I have been denying it more of late,
To focus on other things and make this wait.
No more will writing wait for me, it’s fighting back in my mind,
And telling me to fulfil my destiny,
It’s longing and it’s missing me,
When all is lost and gone,
Writing will still be with me.
So close the doors and shut your eyes,
Getting back to what you love and come fully back alive.
Go back to living and being beautiful you. Loving truly what you love to do.
Get your writing best friend back,
No longer have this lack,
Go grab it now and end it’s sorrow,
Dance with it in the moonlight,
And no longer will you need to borrow,
Short term happiness,
But you will get that writing friend back and put an end to this madness.
For one perfect month, I want you to focus at least,
On your writing joy,
And having a writing feast,
On getting back to the true love of your life,
Who has always been by your side.
Instead of leaving your writing best friend,
To fend for itself,
And be behind you,
Waiting from afar,
I want you to join hands once again, and live in writing bliss and harmony,
Focusing on your destiny.
Because when all is said and done,
And you look back at your life, and you are almost gone,
You will go with a happiness inside of you,
That you lived your true authentic life,
You did what YOU do,
And your legacy will live on.
It’s great to be back with you. Missed blogging and writing so much xx
Today is my birthday and I am having a solo birthday party. To celebrate, I wanted to share with you this recommendation of my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook from someone who is my bestest asexual friend and has been virtually looking after me super well from afar. They recently bought me some very expensive health products and I am very thankful and grateful to them for doing so. This person has one of the most beautiful souls and hearts I have ever met in my life, it’s just a bonus that they love my books too, and get so impacted in a good way by them. They often say to me about their Sandra Bellamy Bookshelf on Kindle, on their computer, is waiting for the next book, and they always like to buy each of my books in both electronic Kindle format and physical form too. I was so happy to see they wrote, “I highly recommend this book”. Here is the UK link https://amzn.to/3b03ThB and elsewhere https://amzn.to/3eLBrT5 so you can buy your copy now!
I have a full day planned for my birthday today. Including watching 3 new movies I bought myself on disc, two of which I have never seen before, so it’s going to be like going to the cinema to see two new films. I have Birthday Girl Balloons and more Balloons, currently all over my bed; Happy Birthday Confetti, in every room – including the toilet, 3 presents to open from my best female friend later on this morning. I am taking myself with a tuna salad lunch, live streaming my present opening on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel and hopefully Facebook at the same time. I also have a Birthday Banner which I haven’t done much with yet, and popcorn to go with the films. My dad is dropping my presents off at 2pm – mum is self isolating until at least June 16th, (maybe until Christmas now) as she is high risk category and had a letter from her Doctor to tell her to do so. I will be talking to another best asexual friend on the phone and Sam I will Skype with later, no doubt through until the early hours of Saturday. Our last Skype session was over 15 hours!
I recently completed two online courses, that took me just over a month to do. One was about how to make money online, and the other was primary about one of the systems I will be using to do that, for my new online businesses. I am planning to launch a total of 3 new businesses this year and currently learning so much, which is one of the reasons I haven’t been around often. I have also been creating digital products to sell too. I still have to finish writing my Asexual Guide To Sex book and get that published this year, which is my top priority for next month, now I have finished my two online courses. So yeah, no rest for the good!!! But I am excited for the year ahead and to see what actually happens. Which businesses work best, which I enjoy the most. But, after all these 10 years of blogging – later this year it will be my 10 year blogging anniversary. Writing is still, and always will be, my number one passion in life, because I get messages from people who’s life has been changed or saved by one or more of my books, and that is priceless and my lasting legacy. I sell books each month, but I can’t currently live off that money, as it’s not enough, but one day I believe that will be very different, and I will also be doing other things too.
Stress causes more Fibromyalgia pain and makes you more susceptible to viruses because it lowers your immune system! 😷
👉 Which is why, with the Coronavirus, it’s more important than ever to decrease your stress levels and in this post I will explain exactly how to do this. Read this post, even if you don’t have fibromyalgia, because it’s so important to safeguard your immune system against this deadly virus! So read on 👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉
👉 This is my one top tip for today, and the days to come, especially for combatting getting Coronavirus.🤒😷
You must decrease your stress levels in multiple aspects of your life! If you want to decrease your fibro pain and decrease your likelihood of getting more sickness or disease.👇
So many people with fibro are looking for an outside cure.👀
So many people with fibro are looking for the next pill to pop to decrease their pain.👀
They don’t see that the answers are within their self. 👀🙄
And the more responsibility you take for your own life and pain, the less pain you keep locked within you! And the less pain you feel as a result! 🤗🤩🥳
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune condition, which means now, with the Coronavirus, it’s more important than ever, to decrease our stress levels in multiple aspects of our life and focus on having fun, relaxation, and not going into panic overdrive mode! Otherwise we increase our chances of becoming sick 🤒😷
Stress is the ONE thing you really need to decrease, if you want to prevent getting more diseases, illnesses, sickness, infections. 🤧🤒
So make two lists.
One list with everything that makes you feel relaxed, happy, smiley. Such as:
🛀Taking a hot bath.
🧘♀️ Doing meditation, or just closing your eyes to your favourite music.
👀 Watching your favourite movies.
💃 Dancing around your home to your favourite tunes.
💬 Messaging a favourite friend.
💌 Emailing a loved one.
👉 Whatever it is, make your list now and make sure you are doing 1-3 of these things each and every day.
The more stress you feel you have in your life, the more of these things you should be doing to decrease your stress levels and boost your immune system back up. 3 per day minimum is what I recommend. Never go a day without doing one of them. You owe it to yourself to put your health first. The more you take care of yourself, the more you can look after others. So it’s a win, win! 🤩😍
And a second list that focuses on each of these main aspects of your life, and the stress you feel within each of them!
👉 Relationships with yourself and with others.
💏 Love relationship.
👉 Health – not only with your fibro but other things you may have, what causes you to have the most stress with your health, be honest!
👇Is it putting others first?
👇Is it a lack of exercise?
👇Is it a toxic relationship?
👇Is it you need some extra help with your shopping, or cleaning your home?
👇Or do you just need a listening ear.👂
👇Do you need to find more things to help you relax?
Are your finances in good health or is a lack of money causing you stress?🤔😖
👉 Life mission, goals, ambitions and dreams!
As humans we need to feel like we are making progress in our life, if we are not, we feel like we are stagnating, we feel lifeless, we lack that fighting spirit and the reason we need to keep going!
Let me ask you a question… what are your life goals, ambitions and dreams right now? 🤔🤔
And don’t tell me you are in too much pain to have any, because if you are in that amount of pain, it’s exactly what you need to take your mind off your pain! You need to have a focus that is off your pain, and on what you love to do, what you want to do, and what you must do! 😍 This is essential to decrease your pain 😍
If you were to be at the end of your life right now and you wanted to know you had made your mark in the world, that you have left a lasting legacy, that you had lived your life doing everything you wanted to do, what would those things be that are a must for you? 🤔
Your fibro pain makes you know you can get through anything life throws at you, so why not use this pain to push yourself to achieve as many of your goals, ambitions and dreams, as much as possible?
👉 Your spirit and soul.
What are you doing to nourish your inner spirit and soul?
What is working for your soul? 🤔💥
And what are you doing in your life that is going against it? 😥
Have you tapped into your inner intuition lately? 🤔
Or are you not trusting your own judgement and purposefully going against your own intuition and gut feeling? And ultimately causing pain and stress to your own soul and inner being, thus increasing your fibro pain? 🤔😥
🤔 Are you self-critical?
🤔 Hard on yourself when things don’t go right?
🤔 Don’t believe in yourself?
😥 Worst still, you don’t love, or even… like yourself!
These things will cause more stress and distress in your body and ultimately more fibro pain! This is what I mean by so many people look for an outside solution to fix an internal problem. You may not be able to cure yourself completely from fibro but you CAN still decrease your fibromyalgia pain and live a better quality of life! All these things will zap your happiness and energy too. Fibromyalgia is a result of trauma, how much ‘internal’ trauma, are you currently adding to your already inflaming volcano within you. Think about it! 🤔
Look at your own life and the multiple aspects of it, and which ones you have any stress in, then try to eliminate those stresses completely and as much as possible.🤗
You want a weapon against Coronavirus? Start by de-stressing and relaxing as a top priority in your life! Go to the top of this post and take action and do the work it takes to get you feeling better. Make a list of ways that you find relaxing and ensure you do 3 each day. Then work on your stresses in these aspects: relationships, health, finances, life mission, spirit/soul, and mindset. You need to work out what your stresses are, how to decrease them, usually by a process of eliminating them or reducing them, by taking action to do so. No excuses for not taking any action. Do your very best and then some more. If you give yourself excuses, you are keeping yourself in more pain than you need to be.
Your next weapon against Coronavirus, especially if you have #fibromyalgia, is working on what to eat and not to eat to boost your immune system and decrease your pain! 🤗
👉 Check out my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook here https://amzn.to/33iDOr2 for more help with how to decrease your pain, including the full list of 25 internal/external environments, you need to examine and take action in, to decrease your pain! And HOW to do that!😍
👉 This book also covers the foods to eat and not to eat, to have less pain, more energy, feel happier, and to stop that, my-legs-feel-like-they-have-been-run-over-by-a-bus, feeling! You know the one I mean!
👉 To get your copy of this pain busting book, here is the link https://amzn.to/33iDOr2 This will be the best investment you have ever made to decrease your Fibromyalgia pain, or Amazon will even give you your money back, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Just remember whenever you need results in life, you need to take action and do the work it takes, but the effort will be worth it. 😍💥
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The conference will span over 5 days, cover 9 different categories, and have 34 expert speakers in their respective fields of expertise! Unlike physical conferences where you can end up sitting through content you just don’t need, Uppercase 2020 is delivered entirely online. Dip in and watch the specific talks you need to transform your writing/blogging business, or catch them all, it’s up to you! Sign Up Here – https://goo.gl/RNvo3L
After the conference, be sure to come back to this blog and let me know in the comments below, which talk you liked the most. I love to read you.
Until next time, enjoy the conference – sign up here – https://goo.gl/RNvo3L, stay quirky, and write soon.
This is my baby daughter guinea pig Angel, she is diabetic, blind, and the most incredible furry kid I have ever known in her ability to enjoy life despite living in the face of adversity.
She can often be seen popcorning (basically doing bunny hops even though she is a guinea pig), in her indoor cage. This means despite being blind, and diabetic, she is still enjoying and loving life. This is a shining example of how to ‘live in spite of’.
In life there are going to be obstacles, challenges, and things that could hold you back in life, the secret is to allow those things to fuel you, to motivate you, to give you a new lease of life, and to enable you to do new things, have new thoughts, and don’t let nothing hold you back.
She is a real hero. How many people do things because they are able to? And how many people do things that they aren’t meant to be able to do, because they have an illness, a disability, or something that should stop them, but it doesn’t!
One of my entrepreneur friends who mentors mentors and networks among some of the most famous people in music and show biz, he grew up in a bad neighbourbourhood and was selling 0.50 cent bread. Now he is wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, not just financially, but in his overall quality of life. His philosophy is ‘the days that break us are the days that make us’ and he is so right! We have to use our hardest times, to motivate us to achieve our goals, ambitions and dreams, and to change our life. The more we work for it, the more badly we want it, the more likely we are to get it. He has a book out, Work Like an Immigrant: 9 Keys to Unlock Your Potential, Attain True Fulfillment, and Build Your Legacy Today, which I bought, and it’s such an inspirational, autobiographical, personal growth, self-growth, and self-help book, which I would also encourage you to buy, as it could change your life too, here is the link if you are in the UK https://amzn.to/3c82IxE and if you are in the USA or elsewhere click here https://amzn.to/2T3hmii I feel so happy I know this person and to have watched their incredible journey, and how their life changed particularly since meeting Tony Robbins and training with him.
Oh and in regard to my Angel, she truly is Angel by name and Angel by nature, because the last time she went to the vets, he couldn’t believe that she went from having cataracts in both eyes and completely blind, to miraculously, one of the cataracts in one of her eyes, has completely disappeared. It’s meant to be impossible for that to happen! And it looks like she has a little peripheral vision back in it, because if you put your finger right in front of it, her head jumps a little back, whereas before she was completely oblivious to your finger being right in front of either of her eyeballs. This was a test they did when she first went blind, and within 10 days got diabetes and moved to live with my parents who can inject her. I have a fear of needles and blood and sadly can’t do this for her, but go and visit her, and this photo is from a very recent visit to see her, when I gave her a bit if a hair cut on the back of her. My mum looks after her incredibly well, and if it weren’t for my mum, she would almost certainly not be alive today, so I am incredibly grateful and thankful for the around the clock care she has, and for my mum treating her like the beautiful, cute, queen, that she is. She bangs her pot a lot for food, constantly all day, and eats a ton of food yet maintains a fairly consistent weight. My mum spends a lot of money on food and treats for her. I am still responsible for her vets bills, and for her to see the vet in my city if she ever needs a check up or operation, or anything else. She has also survived two operations. One was a large operation to remove ovarian cysts and the other to remove a lump from her back that was pressing on her spine. She is incredible and I love her to bits. She is an example of how to live your best life, inspite of and despite of, being sick in some ways, having a health condition and having physical limitations. She truly doesn’t let her limits limit her, and neither should you.
If you wondered why I haven’t blogged for so long and thought I might have fallen off planet earth, not a chance. I am here for the long-haul. I have been extremely busy and needed to take time out from blogging on here and two other blogs, to time block out my most pending and urgent work.
I was interviewed for a podcast about my asexuality – a sexual orientation that is the lack of sexual attraction.
Last week I finished my Asexual Meetup Mastery premium course, which I had been working on since September 2019. It’s an online training course that is made up of about 70 videos, and the first person to take the course is currently going through all of it, before I official launch it on an early bird offer.
I was very sick with a respiratory infection and had to rest, but also used the second week of this time productively, to reflect with a pen and paper, on all major aspects of my life and work out exactly what I am doing with my life and write each out. This took me about 2.5 days, but was very therapeutic for my soul and helped me to get better quicker and this time I had no antibiotics but still managed to get myself better when I couldn’t breathe very well one night, and had no sleep.
I have also been working on my second book for asexuals called Asexual Guide To Sex, which will also be very relevant for sexuals too. And it set to be the best book ever written about sex, from a unique asexual point of view and is ideal for those asexuals or even sexuals, who are thinking about trying sex for the first time ever, and who want some help to decide whether it is right for them or not. With the information in this book and the real life asexual sexual stories in it, they can make an informed choice and decision whether they want to try it or not. This book tells the good, the bad, and the ugly truth about sex, not a glorified sensationalied version of it. This book will be published this year and is my main focus for getting finished as much as possible in March, so expect me to be quieter in March again.
I have also been planning my new business which is all about helping people to make money and cash online. This is something I will be launching a bit later this year and will take a ton of my time up, focus and energy, as I will be launching a new YouTube channel and website for it, and interviewing different entrepreneurs for it to help you. I will also have my own products for it, so I need to spend time creating those for you. It’s a huge thing for me to do, so I want to try to complete and publish my book before then, so I will be going offline a lot through March to get this completed.
I have done some online training for my new business and got more to do at Silly O Clock tonight – from 12.30am.
I decided to go on a relationship and dating detox at the end of January, and not actively pursue a relationship anymore, and focus on my career and businesses this year, but still had guys interested in me and messaging me.
I have been out clubbing and seen my best friends.
So yeah, a lot has happened, and I thank you for still being here with me.