7 Lessons Writers Can Learn From Harry Potter!


I love this video about 7 Lessons writers can learn from Harry Potter! (It does contain spoilers.)

The lesson I related to the most, was very relatable to my own life, not just writing, which was:

“Even if you have two characters that seem fundamentally different, you can find a commonality between them that creates a point of human connection.”

I think this is so very true of asexuals. Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is the lack of sexual attraction and I am hetero-asexual, not heterosexual. Meaning I am attracted to guys romantically – not sexually. Exact definition is heteroromantic.

So even though some of the asexuals I meet at my asexual meetups that I organise in my city, are almost completely different to me, we all share the one commonality of being asexual and that makes us relatable to each other and therefore helps me to meet people who I probably would never have met up with before and that is great!

Which is your favourite writing lesson from Harry Potter? Love to read you, so comment below!

As always, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

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Accident to my foot – Blessing is disguise?


Money quote.blog-post-feature

So it’s a while since I last blogged on here and I am sorry I have not connected with you for a while. Truth is I have been overwhelmed with all of the stuff I do in my life, with various outstanding tasks still to be completed so I can feel like I am making genuine progress, other than just doing little bits to push along projects, and with various questions people have triggered in my brain recently that has left me questioning myself and where I am headed/heading in my life and career. See the thing is, I am not motivated by money, when really I think I ought to be more. I believe in truly changing people’s lives and to do that you do not need money, but you need money to live, eat, and keep a roof over one’s head. So I am in a constant tug of war at the moment, between all of the free stuff I do to help people, which I love doing and is very true to my heart and motivation in my life, and the improved financial life that I need to achieve. It is playing on my mind a lot lately.

Truth is, I just want to be a full-time writer, and make a shed load of money from it while changing lives through the written word. Lives of many different people from all walks of life, not just asexuals, but more books for them too as they are important to me and I really believe asexuality is also my calling, but my first love has always been writing because it make my soul dance and my heart leap and makes me feel so much better and alive when I am doing it. Most people know that many of us do not make a full-time living from writing alone, and that is a sad reality, but there are also people who do just that, and so it cannot be impossible, although usually a lot do other writing related stuff to boost income. I also wish I could make a full-time living from the asexual stuff I do as that is my hugest passion after writing – it is a close second. But I am far from doing that. I don’t help asexuals for the money, I help them to leave a lasting legacy for generations to come and to let them know they are not alone, to raise awareness on a global scale and make them feel happier and more confident within themselves and their asexual life, and I know I have helped some of them do that as they tell me. I know I have helped some of them make long lasting friendships – I have made life friendships with some too, and that to me is success and happiness, right there.

I did a test in my work years ago, about what motivates you, and first for me was a sense of responsibility, second was a sense of achievement and third was money. And the first two motivators are what drives me to do the asexual work I do and it fulfils me. The third I make a little bit of money through T-Shirts and my books, but it is pocket money, rather than substantial money. So I have to be doing other things to make more money, but asexuality and writing are truly what makes my heart leap and happy. So this is the dilemma I currently face.

Recently, because of this tug of war and overwhelm within me, I have felt like I just need a week off to be me again, if that makes sense, to just chill, maybe to have a bit of reflection, but most importantly take time out for me to do nothing much and think of nothing much as my brain needs a rest. Negativity from a few people has started to get to me when really I shouldn’t let it, especially as I still believe in myself and love myself – just I feel pulled in many directions with lots of options but not sure which one will work to make that important income to work from home and never go back to an employed job again, whilst at the moment I am still considering employed options. I also have lots of outstanding tasks that are mostly of the monotonous type, and many tasks to do and finish, and then my mind just shuts down.

So in view of the fact that I need a week off, what should happen but an accident. I was out dancing on my own on Tuesday – I started to go out dancing on my own a few months ago, and this guy fell on the floor and his head landed underneath my foot, but somehow he managed to damage the top of my foot, and my left foot is badly swollen and even the ankle too. This happened on Tuesday night and I am still recovering. I was very worried about the guy as his head I felt under my foot but I immediate removed it, and another woman helped him up straight away as I just looked down and saw him on the floor being helped up, and he said he was okay several times to her but looked dazed and kept feeling his mouth. He had been trying to dance with me, then her, but I think he was drunk and then out of the blue when I was dancing he someone managed to land underneath my foot, I felt so bad about this, even though it was not my fault at all.

So I have not done anything on my Mac until this blog post, and most of my work stuff is on my Mac – such as social media, website stuff, T-Shirt and writing stuff. I don’t have WordPress on my phone anymore as I had to delete it due to not enough internal memory only phone, and I need to keep my foot elevated, which is almost impossible to do while writing this – I am trying but my body is severely twisted with my leg out behind me on the bed for however long I can stand it being in that position, and trying to put my foot on my desk is too high up really – yes, I tried it. And besides, this foot accident is a blessing in disguise because I wanted a reason to have a week off from any work and now I have it and have been watching movies and chilling out mostly. I believe everything happens for a reason and I am happy to know I am still a positive person in this way, and also intuitive. I hope you are not like me and have to have such an excuse! Or in my case reason. I think I will allow myself the word reason in this instance. (Maybe I am too hard on myself!)

Although I did have to attend the job centre yesterday and managed to hobble my way back home which took me well over an hour when it would usually take me about half an hour. The taxi company that I used to get there, (which my mum kindly gave me the money for and my parents also did a massive food shop for me that my dad paid for – super sweet of him and them), was fully booked for an hour coming back, and I went for the bus, but decided to challenge myself by getting back home on mostly – one foot! And as I only got movement back in all 4 of my toes and could put my whole foot to the floor in the morning but not my full weight still, a challenge it was. My right leg was hurting from the over compensation of weight being put on that foot and my injured foot was still swollen when home, and my ankle seemed to have swollen back up more again.

Despite the fact my foot has been injured, I have managed to still keep up live streaming on my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel – This is the 3rd month I have live streamed every single day. Here are 2 videos about my foot on that channel from the last 2 days.

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

 

UK ASEXUALITY CONFERENCE 2018 SPEAKER SANDRA BELLAMY TALKS ABOUT HOW TO ARRANGE AN ASEXUAL MEETUP!


If you weren’t at the UK Asexuality Conference, here is the video my friend took of me speaking about what an asexual meetup is and how to arrange one if you are an absolute beginner.  One of my Asexual BFF’s has a guest speaking spot during my talk and he did incredibly well, considering it was a delicate issue. I arrange Asexual meetups and hold them in my City of Exeter in the UK, but people come from all over the UK to my main meets and my next one of those I am arranging for September and we will be doing VR gaming for it! Really looking forward to that!

I hope you enjoy the video and let me know what you think?

Chestnut Is Doing Great! And Happy My Dream Came True!


It has been a while since I blogged on here (about 2 weeks) and I am sorry for that. Life has been so hectic lately and I have got tons of stuff to share with you that I will be spreading over a few blog posts!

First, Chestnut had to have an operation to remove a lump from her back that was in a very awkward position as it was near to her backbone. Thankfully she came around from the anaesthetic super quickly and she stayed with me for 10 days in recovery before going back to live at my parent’s home with Angel! But for a while, she would not eat hardly any piggy mix or drink any water! She was eating lots of hay and some vegetables, although not as many as usual and I had to tempt her with different stuff. I gave her cucumber and the vet said she was not dehydrated so must have had enough water from her food. I was concerned about this and it would seem that Chestnut was missing Angel, whilst Angel was fine without Chestnut! The vet said her appetite may have also been affected by the trauma from her operation, but I think it was mostly missing Angel. She had started to eat and drink again much more about 48 hours before she went to live with my parents again. I gave her a lot of love and attention and have videos included in this post from when she was with me. I thought it would be the opposite way around, as Angel is blind and diabetic, I thought she would by moping around her cage, but glad she wasn’t. I did give my mum a cuddly toy dog to keep her company, that was almost the same colour as her own fur! Maybe that helped! Although Angel did not seem lonely or worried about Chestnut not being there, they rubbed noses my mum said when Chestnut went back into the cage. I visited them this week, on Monday July 16th, and they were eating and drinking lots and very happy together.

So the other thing that preoccupied me a lot was preparing to speak at the UK Asexuality Conference in London on 8th of July!  Which was amazing and a dream come true for me, and I will have footage of my talks from it, when it has finished being edited processed and is uploaded on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, one video is currently processing as  am writing this!  So I had a lot to do for that in terms of my presentation and speech preparation, and I also had to create my new www.asexualiseacademy.com site which is the World’s First Online Training Centre And School For Asexuals And Asexuality, which I launched on the same day as the conference, and it took 4 days to create my first online video training course for that which is Asexuality Basics For Beginners, An Introductory To Asexuality, and is free on my www.asexualiseacademy.com site if you want to check it out and learn more about Asexuality.

I hung out with one of my Asexual friends for 3 days, who also filmed me for my channel and we got on really well so that was fabulous considering it was the first time we met in person after being friends online for over 2 years. We did Skype a few times before we met in person. I also saw another Asexual friend at the conference who had a guest speaking spot during my “How To Arrange An Asexual Meetup” talk. I arrange Asexual meetups and hold them in my City of Exeter in the UK, but people come from all over to my main meets and my next one of those I am arranging for September and we should be doing VR gaming for it! Really looking forward to that! I also saw a non-asexual best friend whilst in London too. Seeing 3 best male friends over 3 days was fab for me and thoroughly enjoyable! The 3rd day I was in London, I went with my Asexual friend – the one I was hanging out with for 3 days and who filmed for my channel, to the London Aquarium and have photos from that which I will put in a blog another post for you! So you have some exciting posts come!

Here are the videos of Chestnut:

I think Chestnut was the perfect film star! Especially as these were recorded live and she had been through a big operation not that long ago! It was a miracle she was so lively to be honest and I was very glad for that! Sorry for the distortion on these videos with both picture and words, especially the first is bad – it was live and couldn’t be helped!

Until next time, write soon

Sandra xx

 

 

 

SANDRA BELLAMY SPEAKER AT ASEXUALITY UK CONFERENCE! Aka Quirky Books and Asexualise!


UK Ace Conference

 

Speaker

Sandra Bellamy Thumbs up

Well the timetable hasn’t been fixed yet, but I am down to be on the panel of speakers at the UK asexuality conference on July 8th, at Westminster University in London, tickets are free, there are 200, but 138 have already been taken. So if you live in the UK or going to be over here at that time, grab your ticket now! https://www.facebook.com/UKAceConference/ You can also register directly here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSftgl5MEF7B5y9bRTKEsgJ5mfYFwloCMMAD4viiP2XpVIgwsQ/viewform It’s a long URL!

So it would seem I am finally going to get to be a public speaker, in London, and on a topic (asexuality), that I know a lot about! So this is fabulous news. My hotel accommodation and transport are already booked and an asexual friend will be filming me and we will be hanging out together for 3 days, so that will be super cool!

You may not know this, but I also organise Asexual (in person) meetups in my city of Exeter in the UK, and our next one is 19th of May, we will be meeting up for food and drink and then going to the Underground Passages. Here is a video so you can have a peek.

I love to meet other asexuals and it is really nice for me to be in the company of guys who enjoy my company without wanting to have sex with me – as a heteroromantic asexual, I love romance, and am attracted to guys, but never get the need, urge or want for sex, and yes, I have had that in the past and yes, my ex was good at it, and no, I don’t need it. Kissing I love, but not the sex, thanks. I would rather do the washing up and I hate washing up!

If you want to know more about asexuality you can check out my website www.asexualise.com and I have blog articles on there about it and I also have a youtube channel www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife – I just went over 300 subscribers on there! Oh and I also wrote a book in which I interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe, on what they really think of love, life and sex, and not every asexual thinks the same as me! It is a really informative read, even if you are not asexual! It is called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity. Here is the link so you can check it out and shop for it https://amzn.to/2I6ZM96

Oh, and I have been a very busy bee, creating a short technical Kindle book for a very specific niche and my first mini online training course for my Quirky Academy (soon to be officially launched – I have a bit more learning curve to do first – a big bit more – but I will succeed). I already launched the trailer for that channel recently. Here it is and please subscribe:

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

Finally Found My Asexual Love: Love Poem By Sandra Bellamy – Soulmates Do Exist, So NEVER Give Up!


In love this love poem, I think it is one of my favourites that I have spoken. What do you think?

Soulmates do exist, so never give up! I knew I had a soulmate since 10, I did not know he is asexual until 2014, and since then I have been searching on Asexual Dating sites and in Asexual Facebook groups to find him, and then I found him in my own Asexualise Dating group, for those who are asexual (lack sexual attraction), and looking to have a serious relationship with another asexual, with no sex ever.

Some people believe in soulmates and some do not. I have believed I have a soulmate since 10, and finally we have found each other. He believed he had one too. In order to achieve something, you have to believe in it 100%, and I did and do, and it is like a dream come true for me. As I knew the types of things he would say, and there he is saying them naturally. We are already like best friends and it is amazing. Thank goodness love exists without sex and so do soulmates too – you just have to believe!!

I have now been made redundant form my day job and I thought this is a great opportunity to work on my own businesses more, then yesterday 5 of my websites got hacked and currently all of them are offline until I get the problem fixed, which requires extensive time or a fair amount of money. This is a temporary set-back and I believe 100% in my Quirky Academy, but may have to go back into a day job for a bit, as I wasn’t planning on leaving my day job until the end of next year when my own businesses are in a better financial shape.

I am still working on my “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar” book, and have people wanting to buy it and waiting for it to be published.

Lots of love to all of you for your continued support and for being quirky you of course xx

Write soon and stay quirky

Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Print Edition – More Book for Your Buck!


After having problems with the typesetting of my Asexual Perspectives book, and not being able to edit the work of the original typesetter because he had used a programme called Latex, which you need to know how to code to use it; and being left with a PDF that was unpublishable due to the incorrect Prologue being in the book (it was omitted when it shouldn’t have been; and the wrong one added back in), and the TOC numbered incorrectly in two places and faulty source files with incorrect gaps throughout – after a few tearing out my hair sessions, I finally found a free PDF to word converter, here it is if you should need to use it https://smallpdf.com/pdf-to-word so I could work on editing a previous version, without the gaps and correcting the mistakes, including a few grammar and spelling errors on my part too.

After painstaking months of working with the typesetter since January, and another 3 nights last week, working on all the issues, I am relieved that I could finally print this final 560 page book proof, before ordering a copy to check from Amazon, and then hitting the publish button to the world. It must have been edited well over 15 times, considering all the editing I did prior to the typesetting, and it has gone through a final proof read and edit these past two days, and I am doing the typing up of those as we speak. I love writing but all the book formatting stuff is tough!! I want to get back to my soul love of writing – yes, I said soul – because without writing in my life, my soul feels like it has a part of it missing. But I am also going to start doing online training courses too.

I have not tried Facebook Ads before, but I am going to with this book, when I have a copy in my hands and it is published. If you are a writer, have you ever tried Facebook Ads before? I did a high level marketing course last year, so going to use what I learnt in that for the AD. I feel a lot more confident doing this, as I am also a registered publisher under Quirky Books!

Making a full-time living out of writing, is my dream, and I really want to write more books for asexuals, as this is my huge specialist niche, so please wish me luck and a lot of sales with the AD!! With 560 pages of insights into asexuality and how asexuals survive in a sexualised world; and busting through many asexual myths and stereotypes about love, live and sex, including arousal and masturbation, it will be an intriguing read for both asexuals and non-asexuals alike!! It is told in the voices of 46 different asexuals around the globe and my own, and took me almost a year to interview for it and write it, so the readers are getting more book for their buck!! And an educational, humorous, journey too!!

As always, stay quirky and write soon.

Sandra xx

(This Asexual Perspectives book can be bought here http://amzn.to/2GTsi9Y )

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Business Showcase South West – With Dragon’s Den Inspirational Investment Winner at only 18, Jordan Daykin !


Dragon's Den Winner!!
Me, Sandra Bellamy, with Jordan Daykin at BSSW, Dragon’s Den Investment Winner at 18 years old, in 2014!!

I recently went to the Business Showcase South West in Bristol #BSSW. There were lots of seminars throughout the day, including one that featured Jordan Daykin, who won investment from Deborah Meaden in the hit Entrepreneur TV Show Dragon’s Den! He was only 18 when he won that investment in 2014 – making him only 21 years now and his business GripIt – is now worth over £14,000,000. It was awesome to hear his inspirational story!!

I did a live 5 minute pitch to 2 people, to be a TedX Speaker about Asexuality at the next TedX Bristol event in November this year. I already applied with a 1 minute video pitch, 100 word pitch and a bio! And my application has not yet made it or been declined. If you don’t know what TedX is, it is a local Ted talk – or rather talk(s) on stage, on a particular subject that a person has experience or knowledge about – which often makes them seen as an expert. The last Bristol TedX in 2015, had all 1800 seats sold out and about 2000 attended. It is the biggest TedX talk in the UK and possibly in Europe. All speakers are voluntary and the money goes back into a bigger and better show for next time. If I got it, it would be truly life changing for both me and asexuals around the globe – especially since some Ted talks are viewed on YouTube in their thousands and millions. Keep your fingers, toes, and everything crossed, that I make the final cut!! Pitching to be a speaker continues until July – so I have to wait and see! I know at least I tried and will have no regrets as I have done all I can to get through, and although I think I will be good at speaking on stage, in front of that many people is something I will need to be brave to do – but I am a warrior, so it will all be good!! And let’s face it, I was born to be on stage really!! Just have to push myself to do it and go for it!!

If you want to try something in life and have been thinking about it for a while – I say, go for it!! Life is too short!! Keep writing and stay quirky – always xx

Oh and if you have not got a copy of my Asexual Perspectives book yet, you should!! It is great to know about all sexualities because you never know who you will meet that may be the love of your life and if they are Asexual, it is really important to understand them!!

BSSW Dragon’s Den Winner

Jordan Daykin With Alison Edgar – The Entrepreneur’s Fairy Godmother!!