7 Steps To Being Successfully Single and Happy Being Single! #ICBSD

International Celebrate Being Single Day - Feb 14th!
International Celebrate Being Single Day – Feb 14th!

International Celebrate Being Single Day is just around the corner (Feb 14th), and having founded this special day for singles to celebrate being single, you may be asking yourself, just what is so great about being single. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my www.Twitter.com/quirkycoaching profile and thought, just what is #powerofone. Power Of One is a powerful online training and coaching programme that I am creating, to show you, just how to be single and be happy being single.

Since being predominantly single from November 5th, 2011, I began to challenge my mind about the way it thinks about being in a relationship and being single. I was in relationships with guys who were no good for me since 15 years of age – until 2011 – about 19 years of my life! With the largest period of being single in that time, just 6 months! 2 relationships I had were long term (not good for me) and lasted years. I wasn’t a happy person back then and had low self-esteem. I did not like being on my own because I felt alone and very lonely, I liked to be needed, wanted and loved, and felt I wanted someone there for me 24/7 as life would be boring on my own. I am also a very romantic person.

It is fine to want to be needed, wanted and loved – but what I have discovered is that you need to get these 3 things from yourself first and foremost; to be at one with your own soul – then you will you be happy and fulfilled as a single person and less likely to get into a relationship that is no good for you because you will not ‘need’ to be in a relationship. In fact, you may fill your own life with so much joy and happiness that being in a relationship no longer appeals to you. Either way,  you will have unleashed your power of one and be on your way to being a super successful single sensation.

Step 1. You need to take stock of your life and realise that you have a problem being single and find out why that is.

Step 2. You need to be willing to have an open mind and accept you need to change in this respect.

Step 3. If you have been in relationships for most of your life, you need to give yourself some time to yourself and vow to do all you can to stay single for a set period of time – mine was a year; so I could have time to stop ‘needing’ someone. If on the other hand you have been single all your life and would like to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it, then you have some work to do on yourself to ensure you can be single and be happy – as well as work to do on your dating and relationship skills. You can still enjoy dating as a single person and it is good to see what is on offer from a variety of sources, rather than thinking one person is the only choice you have!

Step 4.You need to explore and find things to build your confidence and self-esteem, as well as discover ways to help you to be happy being single. This could include learning from books, articles, training courses, magazines, blogs, videos, audio books and podcasts, or through coaching and/or being mentored.

Step 5. You need to decide what ways you learn best –  visual, auditory (listen), verbal, written, – so you can pick which learning method is best for you and implement it. If you don’t know which suits you best, try each out until you find which works best for you. Being happy to be single is a skill you need to master and maintain and you need to recognise this and accept it.

Step 6. Take massive action. You need to implement what you have learned, if you are not prepared to do this then you will stay stuck being single and unhappy – everyone has a choice regardless of their circumstances. If you have no money there is free to watch YouTube videos, blog posts and online articles to read. There is no excuse for not changing your life!

Step 7. Evaluate and monitor your progress via each learning method. If something doesn’t work, then try something else until you can honestly say you are happy being single.

If you would like the early bird offer for my new online training/coaching course when it comes out – just fill in the form below and you will also receive a free bi-monthly newsletter with information, inspiration, motivation and advice, about how to be happy being single.

How are you celebrating being single on Feb 14th – International Celebrate Being Single Day?

Please add #ICBSD to any posts and media you post online to show how proud you are to celebrate International Celebrate Being Single Day!!

What struggles do you have being single and what help would you like to overcome them?

Until next time

Stay quirky and write soon


Pre Celebration: International Celebrate Being Single Day

Blooming Good Flowers
These are my Celebrate Being Single flowers I bought myself
This is a picture of when I bought myself two bouquets of flowers in the supermarket
I loved the heart wrapping and couldn't resist the sparkly pink glitter heart on a stick - to keep forever.

I like to take the bull by the horns and lead by example. I also naturally love celebrating being single.

I hadn’t bought myself flowers for years, but I decided this year was going to be different.

So I went into my local Aldi store, which is fortunately just across the road from where I live. I was on a tight budget for the day itself; but thought I would start my International Celebrate Being Single Day celebration, slightly early, so bought myself two ‘pre celebration’ bouquets of flowers. I wanted to show my love for myself to make myself happy, and make myself smile,  before my self-date, on my big day.

To be honest I didn’t ‘need’ two; the first bouquet had 3 different coloured roses in it and roses are my favourite flowers. The second I bought because of the sparkly pink heart that is on a wooden stick and I can keep forever. I have a similar thing already, that is like a round bauble and a lighter shade of pink, and I love it so much. For a fleeting moment I thought about taking the heart out of another bouquet and placing it in my rose bouquet and thinking the cashier may not notice, but that would have been dishonest and I can’t do that. So I bought both and they made me smile so much. The white ones are still alive and well. The roses have schrivelled and almost died off, which is a little sad but I can always buy more if I want to.

I had a very fabulous and special International Celebrate Being Single Day, that I had been looking forward to, since October last year. I still haven’t edited the video clips together from that day – waiting for an iMovie lesson for that on the 7th of March. However, I took some photos, some of which I will share with you in my next post.

Check out my latest blog post on my http://www.beatredundancyblues.com blog called ‘Give a little sunshine’ and let me know what you think?

Big hugs and lots of love for you, stay quirky.



There is lots of magic and power in being single, please can you watch this video to find out more. I would love to know what you think?? And please tell me how you plan to celebrate February 14th, whether you are single or with a loved one??

Less than 14 days to go to INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY – FEB 14TH (#ICBSDAY), which I launched on social media last year (2015). So that no single person needs to feel lonely ever again, on Valentine’s Day, instead, they can celebrate being single, which is what I have done for the past 4 years. This year, my train ticket is already booked to go to Bristol and I am going back to the zoo again, because I enjoyed it so much last year. Lori will be continuing her filming of me in Bristol, for the asexual documentary I am appearing in – which focuses on ‘living for myself’ – you will so love it when you see it on YouTube after it is finished – because it shows me in my completely quirky home and state of being!! I will link it here when it’s out March/April time.

I love being single, it’s the best feelings in the world, it’s so empowering to be able to have the total freedom of being authentic, quirky you. You don’t have to compromise who you are, or adjust yourself to anyone. And I love living in my World Of Quirky, always. It’s the happiest I have ever been – Living a teenager lifestyle, to the max – is what I love to do! Always. This video is from my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel – but the day is for every ‘single’ person in the world, not just those who are asexual and happen to be single.

I now have Quirky T Shirt as my own brand of T Shirt on and I have created a Quirky T Shirt especially for International Celebrate Being Single Day.

Official International Celebrate Being Single Official Quirky T Shirt
Official International Celebrate Being Single Official Quirky T Shirt – Exclusively designed by founder – Sandra Bellamy. (Copyrighted)

Below, is the very short blog post on the day I officially founded and launched International Celebrate Being Single Day! (In this video I said I founded it in 2014 – I had the original idea for it years ago, while waiting at the train station to go home from college on Valentine’s Day, with a pink heart shaped cake I had bought myself! And I gave up eating sugar due to an allergy when I was 19!) Happy International Celebrate Being Single Day day to all of my ‘single’ blogging friends and Happy Valentine’s Day to  those of you who are in a relationship. Love, hugs, and stay quirky xx



Do you love the one you are with?

Hi Everyone

As you know, I like to be a bit quirky. In view of that fact, I am going to London for valentine’s to celebrate being single. I will be there from Wed 13th of February for two nights and I intend to have a blast. My motto is, if you can’t be with the one you love, or you don’t love anyone, then love the one you are with and if you are single, then that means loving yourself. You don’t need anyone else to make you happy, you can do that for yourself by:

  1. Affirming how wonderful you are – Write down a minimum of 20 positives about yourself. Try to read this out aloud on a regular basis. Reading five a day is good.
  2. Celebrating 5 successes every day. Write down anything from washing up to having an article published.
  3. Buying yourself presents – A writer’s journal. A book. Clothes. Perfume/aftershave. CDs. DVDs. Jewellery or whatever you want.
  4. Taking yourself out – For a meal. To the theatre. To the cinema.
  5. Going on holiday – To wherever you want, whenever you want. You could go to that writer’s retreat you have always wanted to visit.
  6. If you are feeling sad then comfort yourself. Give yourself a hug and say out aloud –  “Things will get better and you are coping very well.” Self-talk is a good thing.
  7. If anyone gives you a strange look because you are sitting on your own, simply by strong and happy that you are single and give them a smile. If you are confident that being single is right for you then why should anyone else question that.
  8. Write a book about the adventures of being a singleton – Watch this space, as there is a possibility that there may be a similar book from me in the future.
  9. Find what you were born to do and let no one stand in your way of achieving it. Being single is great because there is no one to hold you back and no one to think about but yourself.
  10. Educate yourself. Learning gives us knowledge and increases our sense of worth making us feel good. If you want to do a course, then go for it.
  11. Whatever makes you feel fantastic, do it and keep doing it.
  12. Praise yourself at every opportunity and if something goes wrong, then treat it as a learning curve to make you stronger. You will love yourself more for it.

In case you wonder what I am doing in London. I am going to see The Bodyguard Musical on Wed, to The Sea Life Aquarium and Mama Mia Musical on Thursday 14th February and to Paradise Wildlife Park on the Friday. I am doing all of these by myself. You can have just as much fun by yourself – Sometimes more because you can do what you love and what makes you love your life without the need for any compromises.

Write soon