What an Angel!


As you know from previous posts, I just have one furry kid daughter guinea pig now, called Angel. Whom I had the blessing of spending a lot of time with when I was at my parents during Christmas and at new year. I did a live stream video of her eating one of her treats on Boxing Day and so here it is, especially for you! Enjoy it!

I apologies in advance if the sound if off – it was recorded live!

As always, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xxxxxxxx

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This Is The Post I Never Wanted To Write – 4 years of life, gone in a flash! My Chestnut Furry Kid Guinea Pig Daughter Is Dead!


My guinea pig furry kid daughter Chestnut is dead. 4 hours after surgery for removal of ovarian cysts, she started bleeding and they could not spot where from, she was opened up again and bled to death. Horrific! I love her to bits. She was my best friend, love of my life, my companion for the most part of 4 years and a real joy to know. I have a phobia of eyes and the way they stare and look, hers were the ONLY eyes I have ever found to be truly beautiful and I was mesmerised by them and wanted to look at them.

She was only sat on my chest and in my lap less than 24 hours before she died and was gone forever, I love her so much. The pain cuts like a knife right now. How can something so beautiful, have her pretty life end this way? I was so close to her and bonded with her, as she lived in my room with me before moving to live with my parents this April, a few days before her 4th birthday, the 23rd of April, which was the day before mine. My birthday is the 24th of April and I will miss sharing my birthday next year with her, as a joint celebration. She moved to live with my parents, due to Angel being diagnosed with diabetes and my parents can inject her when I couldn’t, as I have a real fear of needles and blood. My mum is diabetic herself. The last blood test I had was over 4 years ago, as far as I can remember.

Angel also had the same operation for removal of ovarian cysts just before Chestnut did. Thankfully Angel is okay and doing well overall, despite being blind and diabetic. The vet was more concerned about her pulling through in theory, because of her being diabetic, and usually she would need more time to come around from the anaesthetic. I am glad it was not two piggies I lost. I am not sure I will get another one to go with Angel, in theory it would be nice for her, but my mum is indoors with her nearly all the time and I haven’t had much luck with my guinea pigs from the point of view many have died young and had major operations. I still think I have been successful sticking with pets many otherwise would have given up on long ago, so it is lucky I got them. I am just thinking maybe I should not have any more, but I don’t know, and as Angel now lives with my parents, it has to be a joint decision, not solely my own.

These are the very last photos I took of Chestnut (the 4th one being the very last), and these are the last YouTube videos of her from the night before she died. One video is from my Quirky Books TV channel this blog belongs to, and I have included a video of Chestnut and Angel from my other channel called Asexualise My Asexual Life, which I currently Vlog on every single day, live, since the 1st of July this year, 2018.

Sandra and furry kid Chestnut    

And this is a video explaining what happened and how Chestnut came to no longer be in this life!

It’s been tough. It is hard to think that this little life is no more, especially as there is nothing visibly wrong with her on the outside.

I said in one of these videos that the head vet was doing the operation, but he didn’t, he supervised only, and was not there when she started bleeding. The vet who did it said he had operated before on guinea pigs and was with her at the end. He said he even had 2 staff nurses monitoring them both for 2 hours.

I have an asexual meetup that I organised in my city this weekend and whilst the meetup is officially on Sunday, many of us are also meeting up the evening before at 6.30pm, for food, drink, and chat. 4/5 are staying in hotels. I am with asexuals for a total of 4 days, and one is staying in a hotel for 3 nights, who is my BFF (Best Friend Forever), and arriving in my city this afternoon – Friday! It is hard to be around people when grieving, but great to have support and distraction of people also. I have allowed myself to cry a ton as you will see from the last video above, and I hope it inspired you in some way, to let all of the grief, heartache and pain, out, because otherwise it will eat you up and I would never want that to happen to you.

Until next time, from me, and Chestnut in heaven, always stay true to who you are, embrace your quirky, and live your dreams xx

Write soon

Sandra xxxxxxxx

Bye, Bye Chestnut, I love you with all of my precious heart, mind, body and soul. Loved our cuddles and our laughs together, our love for each other, and those squeaky moments. I am so very sorry what happened to you and that I could not save you. I am sorry I decide to go through with the operation for you, but I thought it had to be done as you lost some weight. The vet said it was unusual for a guinea pig to be recovered from an operation for 4 hours and then start to bleed, usually if that ever happens it would be quite soon after so maybe there was another underlying cause, and for the loss of wight also. I said no to the autopsy as I did not want your beautiful body to have to go through being opened up again, it would never have brought you back. I am sorry you bled to death, I would never wish that on my gorgeous girl. And I am sorry for all of the teeth chattering I caused at the mention of this operation, you never did that before, 4 months ago, when the lump was going to be removed from your back and it was successful. I am sorry for the brief panic attack you had at the vets, when you knew I had to leave you for this operation, it is almost as if you knew what was going to happen and it scared you for dear life and your heart was beating so very fast and your insides moving left to right in quick succession, then by the time my mum looked in the box, you had instantly calmed down and was eating hay. Did you know Chestnut? Did you instinctively have an inkling of what would happen to you today? Because I think it seems likely you sensed it from the teeth chattering and panic attack, you have always been so bold and brave and not that bothered before; super strong.

I telepathically was connected to you when I thought you would be having the operation. I don’t know if it was 12.45 or 1.15pm, or somewhere in-between there, but for what seemed like a good 10 minutes, I felt like I was spiritually connected to you, bonded in time with our minds and souls as one. It was like I went into a trance and our brains were linked somehow. I told you to fight and be strong and you did, I just did not foresee that bleeding coming out of nowhere. But I knew that when the vet saw you the previous week he said there is an 80% chance of survival with this operation, that it was not a good sign, as the head vet had never said that to me before.

It is hard when I had to sign the consent form, sign it to say if anything goes wrong, there is no liability and therefore no one is responsible, it is one of those things, which it is, I just really wish my love, that ‘that’ thing, had never happened to you.

I love you so very much from the bottom of my beautiful soul and heart to yours. Let us dance in the moonlight of no mans land, let us take each other by paw and hand and dance you in my arms. Let us dance cheek to cheek one more time my love and lets say goodnight and stay in peace forever. I love you my best friend, I am crazy for you, I have a sacred and special bond that no one will ever break and I can remember you for the rest of my life and beyond. Until we meet again my love, close your eyes and rest, let God and/or, the powers that be now, hold you in its tender loving warmth and caress, knowing you will always be mine forever, but I have to let you go and take a rest, forever. It seems so final, like an eternity, but the truth is, it is. I love you my darling, now come back close into mummy’s cuddle, I honesty can never let you go, because you are mine forever. So stay with me a little and a lot, look down on me from heaven and shine your beautiful light for all the world to see. Your companion Angel is looking up to the night sky, thinking of where you have gone, little unaware of you never coming back. She will miss you madly, as do I. Angels always return to heaven to watch over us, and until she does that, you will always be my angel and with me, my forever guiding light. I am glad I have still got Angel, but I wish I had got you in person too, because I feels helpless right now, and I am reaching out to you. As tears flow over my face in droves, and my face burns with the scars of tears down my cheeks for hours, I will never, ever, forget you my darling furry kid daughter Chestnut, and I will love your forever more. My love for you never stops, it grows day-by-day, even when you are away. I love you now and always.

Part of me wants to say rest in peace, but the truth is, I want you to squeak from the heavens, always be true to who you are, and never let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle. We buried you tonight, in a towel, in my mum’s garden, dad dug up some space. They wrapped you in a green towel, green is sometimes unlucky for our family, but I hope it is lucky for you in getting you a good place in heaven and in the feeling of warmth and cosiness, as your spirit  transcends to heaven/that spiritual place above. I will miss your terribly. I already do. I don’t want to stop writing here and now, because I feel so very connected to you. My eyes look like a mess, but I don’t care, you would gladly lick them for me, if you were only here to do so. I can’t believe you have gone, I am still in disbelief. But your memory lives on in me and with me forever more. But you are more than just a memory to me, you are in my heart always.

Once again, I am so sorry if you saw this coming and I did not, I wish I could have stopped you dying, I really do. I was happy for the photos I took of us together, and the video of me and you. I love you Chestnut. In part this is not goodbye, because that just makes me cry, I love you my sweet one and always will forever and more. I always had in my mind until death do us part, that I would like to be with you until the very end. I am so sorry I was not in the recovery room with you when you passed your last breath, part of me felt like asking if I could be with you as you recovered, just in case anything should happen, but this was a very late thought, considering how long we were there waiting for you to come around. I can’t change back time, and I don’t know if I would have been allowed anyway, I wasn’t told you were dying, but found out you were dead. I asked the receptionist, who is having the problem with recovery and she said Chestnut. Then when the vet told me to come into the consultation room, and was carrying no piggies and I could see upset in his eye, like he had been crying, I said Chestnut is dead, and he said yes, Chestnut is dead, but how do you know that? I said the receptionist said she was the one having problems with recovery and I could see the upset in your eyes and just knew it, and then I broke down in tears, and later started to get panicky and pins and needles were in my blood drained fingers and my natural response was no doubt that my body was giving extra oxygen and blood to the heart and other vital organs, whilst having a panic attack. I was just very glad I gave both you and Angel a very big cuddle and lots of kisses before you went in for your operations, so you knew how very much mummy loves you and always will forever more xxxxxxxx I stayed with you until the allowable end and at least that was something. I love you Chestnut, mummy always loves you, forever and more, more, more. Nose rubs and kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss xxxxxxxx

Celebrating 8th Year Bloggerversary For Quirky Books – Counting The 10 Moments That Count With Sandra Bellamy


Sandra and furry kid Chestnut

On the 8th of November, this year, 2018 – something amazing happened! I was sent a congratulations on my 8th year Bloggerversary for this Quirky Books blog.

In the time I started this blog, great things have happened to me:

  1. In 2012, I overcame depression using my Embrace Your Quirky Philosophy, which is all about being your true, authentic self, no matter what anyone else, says, thinks, or does.
  2. In 2012, I also was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which took 6 months to come to terms with, and then I saw the blessings of it and how it truly changed my life, for the better, forever, it became my super power. Fibro is a chronic pain condition that affects the nerves and muscles of the body, you can’t usually die from it, but you can get other life threatening conditions because it can lower your immune system. Worse case is you can end up on crutches or in a wheelchair. Many people are tired with it and lack energy, I am different, because I do things differently, as you will read from my new fibro book that is coming out soon.
  3. I saved someone’s life in 2013.
  4. I won a local business award in 2013 for my www.beatredundancyblues.co.uk website idea.
  5. I completed a 14 week pattern changing course to ensure I don’t get into an abusive long-term relationship ever again.
  6. I met HM The Queen at St James’s Palace, and spoke to her.
  7. In 2014, I discovered I am hetero-asexual in sexual orientation, not hetero-sexual, so I am attracted to guys romantically, not sexually. I want to kiss them, not have sex with them – well the right guys, I am aesthetically attracted to younger, foreign guys, in their 20s! Asexual cougar! But not found the right asexual guy in the UK yet.
  8. In 2017, Quirky Books became my own publishing imprint and my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, was published under Quirky Books, and cannot only be got through Amazon, but can be ordered through books stores and is in 6 libraries around the UK, including the British Library. My book will go down as part of English heritage and help tons of people for generations to come.
  9. This year I got to be a speaker in London at the UK Asexuality Conference, on the 8th of July. It was amazing. I was part of a relationships panel discussion and also had my own 45 minute talk with Q & A, about how to arrange an asexual meetup.
  10. I organise asexual in person meets in my city in the UK, since January 2015, and these days people come from all over the UK to them. This weekend I have another one and will be spending time with 9 asexuals on the official meetup day on Sunday 18th Nov, for a Chinese meal at Tang Shian restaurant and a 10th person will join us later for the Christmas light switching on in my city. I am meeting up with 7 of the 10, the evening before, for another meetup, and one of my asexual friends is staying in my city on Friday so I am meeting up with him and going clubbing, and him and another are staying over Sunday, so I shall see them Monday too. I love having asexual friends, happy days.

All of these 10 moments in my life have counted so much to my happiness, but there is many more I have had and many more to come, so this list is not exhaustive. Remember to make every moment count in your life, because once that moment is gone, it’s gone forever. Which reminds me that my Disneyland Paris 21st Mindset Birthday last year, was also one of the very best things to happen to me in my life, ever! So that is bonus number 11.

On the 8th of November, I also saw my furry kid daughters, which was fantastic to see them. Above are the photos I took whilst with them and I am visiting them again tomorrow, because on the 8th, they were both diagnosed with suspected ovarian cysts (Chestnut has lost some weight because of this), and both are having operations this Thursday 15th of November to remove those, so please pray they will be okay. Their hearts are strong, but it is a delicate operation for little piggies. I am really thankful the head vet who is now doing their operations, as he is experienced and the best chance they have of being okay. He was off sick and their appointment would have been tomorrow but it has been moved to Thursday so he can do it! Happy days again.

Here is a live stream I did on the 8th of Nov, of Chestnut, on my Asexualise channel.

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

Chestnut Is Doing Great! And Happy My Dream Came True!


It has been a while since I blogged on here (about 2 weeks) and I am sorry for that. Life has been so hectic lately and I have got tons of stuff to share with you that I will be spreading over a few blog posts!

First, Chestnut had to have an operation to remove a lump from her back that was in a very awkward position as it was near to her backbone. Thankfully she came around from the anaesthetic super quickly and she stayed with me for 10 days in recovery before going back to live at my parent’s home with Angel! But for a while, she would not eat hardly any piggy mix or drink any water! She was eating lots of hay and some vegetables, although not as many as usual and I had to tempt her with different stuff. I gave her cucumber and the vet said she was not dehydrated so must have had enough water from her food. I was concerned about this and it would seem that Chestnut was missing Angel, whilst Angel was fine without Chestnut! The vet said her appetite may have also been affected by the trauma from her operation, but I think it was mostly missing Angel. She had started to eat and drink again much more about 48 hours before she went to live with my parents again. I gave her a lot of love and attention and have videos included in this post from when she was with me. I thought it would be the opposite way around, as Angel is blind and diabetic, I thought she would by moping around her cage, but glad she wasn’t. I did give my mum a cuddly toy dog to keep her company, that was almost the same colour as her own fur! Maybe that helped! Although Angel did not seem lonely or worried about Chestnut not being there, they rubbed noses my mum said when Chestnut went back into the cage. I visited them this week, on Monday July 16th, and they were eating and drinking lots and very happy together.

So the other thing that preoccupied me a lot was preparing to speak at the UK Asexuality Conference in London on 8th of July!  Which was amazing and a dream come true for me, and I will have footage of my talks from it, when it has finished being edited processed and is uploaded on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, one video is currently processing as  am writing this!  So I had a lot to do for that in terms of my presentation and speech preparation, and I also had to create my new www.asexualiseacademy.com site which is the World’s First Online Training Centre And School For Asexuals And Asexuality, which I launched on the same day as the conference, and it took 4 days to create my first online video training course for that which is Asexuality Basics For Beginners, An Introductory To Asexuality, and is free on my www.asexualiseacademy.com site if you want to check it out and learn more about Asexuality.

I hung out with one of my Asexual friends for 3 days, who also filmed me for my channel and we got on really well so that was fabulous considering it was the first time we met in person after being friends online for over 2 years. We did Skype a few times before we met in person. I also saw another Asexual friend at the conference who had a guest speaking spot during my “How To Arrange An Asexual Meetup” talk. I arrange Asexual meetups and hold them in my City of Exeter in the UK, but people come from all over to my main meets and my next one of those I am arranging for September and we should be doing VR gaming for it! Really looking forward to that! I also saw a non-asexual best friend whilst in London too. Seeing 3 best male friends over 3 days was fab for me and thoroughly enjoyable! The 3rd day I was in London, I went with my Asexual friend – the one I was hanging out with for 3 days and who filmed for my channel, to the London Aquarium and have photos from that which I will put in a blog another post for you! So you have some exciting posts come!

Here are the videos of Chestnut:

I think Chestnut was the perfect film star! Especially as these were recorded live and she had been through a big operation not that long ago! It was a miracle she was so lively to be honest and I was very glad for that! Sorry for the distortion on these videos with both picture and words, especially the first is bad – it was live and couldn’t be helped!

Until next time, write soon

Sandra xx

 

 

 

Angel Guinea Pig Sends February Love – Angel Poem – Once There Was A Little Furry Kid!


Angel Guinea Pig makes her YouTube debut. This is her very first video on YouTube. Angel wishes you lots of love this February. Once There Was A Little Furry Kid Poem.

Hope you love to see her as much as I do xx

What Can You Do First?


Angel after being dried from her first bath!
Angel has just had a bath for the first time and is now dry!

Doing anything for the first time can be scary but as I reflect back on this year to date, I have done a lot of firsts and will do more next year.

Angel had her first bath a couple of weeks ago and the bathing went surprisingly well – the hair drying took a lot longer and she decided to repeatedly try to climb under or over my arm at lightening speed. It must have taken twice as long as it should but because she is so gorgeous and so funny, it didn’t really matter because I love her so much. It will be her first Christmas soon, baby’s first Christmas is always good and a memorable one!!

So my firsts for this year:

  • I succeeded in learning how to use Photoshop so now I create all of my own T-Shirt designs and do the artwork for them.
  • I got tiered up to the next quantity of T-Shirt designs so I can sell more at one time on Amazon.com
  • I wrote and published my ‘How To Get Started With Twitter, Get Going and Get Growing A Step By Step Guide” book.
  • My Asexualise My Asexual Life YouTube channel has grown to over 150 subscribers.
  • I interviewed over 40 asexuals for my Asexual Perspectives, Love Life And Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book and I am trying hard to get the Kindle version published before Christmas.
  • I completed a Marketing course (still got to action all the modules now though).
  • I learnt how to use IMovie and can now create my own videos.
  • I did an’ Inspire With Video Materclass’, so I can create my own inspirational videos.
  • I completed a “Your Next Bold Move” course at the beginning of this year and it helped me to plan and be more productive for the rest of the year.

What first have you had this year (2016) and what firsts are coming for you next year?

Stay quirky

Sandra

INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY DOCUMENTARY: BRISTOL ZOO


INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY DOCUMENTARY: BRISTOL ZOO. This video took me over 6 months of learning IMovie and editing to create it. In this video I take you on my journey of my self-date for International Celebrate Being Single Day. From the moment I get to the train station, to going to the zoo, for food, and the cinema. I did create a shorter version of this without the mouse house that has tons of sound editing, but unfortunately a lot of my files went missing from that version. This version could have been 40 minutes originally so I did well to get it down to almost 24 minutes.

Thanks for all your 6 year blogging anniversary wishes, much appreciated. xx Hugs xx

Stay quirky

Sandra xx

ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS – A HEART’S A HEART!!


ALWAYS COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS – A HEART’S A HEART!! No matter what happens in life, always count your blessings. My Snow guinea pig has a rare condition where her tongue is attached to her cheeks!! And from now on she needs to have 3 operations a year and check-ups every 2 months. So now I am working extra hours in my day job – 6 days a weeks throughout promotional periods to pay for it, because the insurance company will only pay up to a maximum of half this year and may exclude it from my Snow guinea pig’s insurance completely next year, when it is due for renewal. On average Snow has got another 4 years of potential life left in her and in-between treatments she is happy, playful, and eating/drinking. So I choose to work more hours, so she can live, otherwise she dies. It has taken some adjusting to, but she is worth every penny and a heart is a heart, no matter whether it is covered in fur or skin!

Stay quirky and write soon

Sandra