Without Darkness There Would Be No Light! How to go from the darkness and into the light!


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I used to think why is there so much hatred, darkness, and pain in life, and that there is no way I would wish anyone to be brought into this world, as it was horrible. I don’t think that way anymore as I am no longer depressed. What you focus on expands and I was focused back then on negativity, on the fact I didn’t like myself or my life. I watched TV and the news, which is full of rape, death, murder, violence and betrayal. News focuses on the bad and negative stuff, in order to grip you emotionally and scare you into coming back for more! To make you think, if you don’t watch it, something bad will happen to you, as you don’t know what is going on in the world. But the reality is, you create your own reality, and by focusing on that bad news each day, it makes you more fearful and scared of the world at large, and therefore you have to keep watching it, like a drug, in order to avoid the pain, when in reality, it is injecting pain into you, into your mind, into your body, until you become a fearful, sick, and nervous wreck. This is often subconscious, rather than conscious.

So what can you do?

  • You need to free yourself from the negativity and embrace the positive.
  • Stop watching TV and in particularly the news. Don’t read newspapers daily.
  • If you do watch TV, keep it to comedy, and things that make you feel love, laughter, and joy. Go into the light and cut out the dark on TV. Both the light and dark are there, but you have a choice! Don’t make excuses, make positive choices and positive changes in your life.
  • Be far more disciplined to get good thoughts, words, actions, and images, into your life, and put them into action constantly. Pay attention to the music you listen to, as well and the films you watch, and what you read. Ask yourself, if it is positive or negative. Then get rid of the negative.
  • Listen to positive affirmations daily to help get your mind into a positive state.
  • Know happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy! It’s your life.
  • Practise gratitude daily. Be grateful and thankful for what you have right now in your life, and every single day.
  • You are responsible for yourself, and your life, no one else.
  • Have courage to face your fears head on.
  • Trust your intuition.
  • Learn, develop, and grow yourself, and never stop learning.
  • Realise all the special qualities, skills, and abilities you have, and keep implementing them and recognising them.
  • Find your life purpose and live it.
  • Help others and it will help you to live a purposeful life
  • Realise that all the dark moments in your life, needed to happen, in order for you to learn, develop, and grow yourself, into the person you are today.
  • Be thankful for everything that happens in your life, good or bad, and know that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.
  • Know that when experiencing bad times, it means good times are just around the corner. The more bad and unhappy, the more fortunate and happy times are ahead. Because where there is darkness, there is always light around the corner

I now understand that without darkness there would be no light! But by focusing on the light, it helps to keep the darkness away, and to draw happiness, love, and light, to me always. Like a boomerang, light will ways come back to me, and I will never reside and stay in a pit of darkness and despair, ever again. I will always go back into light. I freed myself of depression in 2012, and even if things are not going the way I want them to, I know that time will pass and I will be happy and joyful again.

Right now, in this moment. My life is awesome. I won’t lie. I am nervous about the future, but also optimistic about it! I love my life and I am very thankful for living in my beautiful flat, for having a roof over my head and food in my belly. For having wonderful friends in my life and people who love me implicitly. A new guy has come into my life who I am very thankful and grateful for. He’s a cutie! And it’s my 3rd 21st mindset birthday next week! On 24th of April! Rock on!

Happy Good Friday and Happy Easter Weekend! What helps you go towards the light and keep out the darkness? Please write in the comments below, as I love to read you.

As always, keep being quirky you and write soon.

Sandra xx

What is Asexuality? An Introduction to Asexuality, The Asexual Spectrum and Asexual Perspectives!


 

So you may have read about my Asexual Perspectives book being published, but just what is Asexuality and what does it mean to be asexual? Watch this video to find out more and read my book description below. Asexual Perspectives is currently available to read for free on Amazon for ‘Kindle Unlimited’ readers, so what have you got to lose by finding out more? 

Shop on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2kyL22x or Amazon.co.uk  http://amzn.to/2k9asY1


ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES, LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY! Book!
ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES, LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY!What is Asexuality and what is the Asexual Spectrum 

In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?

Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.

Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!

If you identify as asexual do you –

Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?

Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.

In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!

In this book you will:

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.

If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book and buy now on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2kyL22x or Amazon.co.uk  http://amzn.to/2k9asY1

Heteroromantic Author Sandra Bellamy, is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.

ASEXUAL PRSPECTIVES BOOK IS NOW LIVE ON AMAZON – GRAB YOURSELF A COPY NOW!!


ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES, LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY! Book!
ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES, LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY!

 

My Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexuality Diversity book is now live and published on Amazon Kindle. Get your copy here for only £1.99.

In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?

Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.

Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!

If you identify as asexual do you –

Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?

Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.

In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!

In this book you will:

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.

If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book and scroll up and add to cart!

Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of http://www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.

This is the second part of my two part Asexual Perspectives behind the scenes of my book video series. – What a writer’s life is really like!!

I hope you enjoy reading the book and if you purchase a copy, please leave and honest review!!

Stay quirky

Sandra

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK: What is the hardest part of writing a book?


ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK: What is the hardest part of writing a book? BEHIND THE SCENES PART ONE. What is the hardest part of writing a book? Special Edition Video Series. In this video series I give you a behind the scenes look at what it is really like to be a writer and author. Part Two shows more of the making of the book and my daily routine.

I have been working tons of hours on my Asexual Perspectives book since New Year’s Day!! (Home, day job, book, home, day joy, book!)

I have finally uploaded my Asexual Perspectives book and waiting for Kindle to approve it and then I will be a self-published Author x 3 – but this book will be in print also asap!!

Stay quirky and look out for part two soon!!

Love xx Sandra

New Book – Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex


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Exeter Quayside
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Exeter Cathedral

I like to count my blessings. I have many, including you, my loyal and loving Follwers, thank you.

I am have Snow and Chestnut, my mum and dad, and my good friends.

I love living in my flat in the big beautiful Victorian house I live in; and I love living in Exeter, 5 minutes walk from the picturesque and historic Quayside. I get to cross the Quayside bridge every day I go to work in my day job.

I just started work on my first non-fiction asexual book. It’s called Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Diversity. I am interviewing both Asexuals and asexual supporters fot it. I have two of each, already ready to be interviewed for it.

I am also being filmed for a short asexual documentary, have an Internet radio interview about my asexuality being recorded this Sunday; am being interviewed for a blog about my asexuality; and arranging another asexual in person meet-up, in my local area next month.

If you want to find out more about asexuality you can join my community on Facebook Find me on Facebook at Twitter Join me on Twitter; or Google Asexualise My Asexual Life, to check out my Asexualise channel and learn more. I go into very intimate and personal details about myself and past relationships on this channel, in order to help others, so if you are pro asexuality, please subscribe. The more awareness I can raise, the better. On Facebook I have sexual people who support my page by liking it and it helps to spread the word. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, however, I am a Heteroromantic Asexual, so still desire a romantic relationship with the right guy.

Have you heard of Asexuality before? I would love to have your comments.

Write soon;
Stay Quirky.

Sandra

Give Yourself A Gift In 2016


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Father Christmas Hand Muff
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Give Yourself A Gift In 2016. Whether that is a physical present, the gift of feeling alive, of being happy to be you with all of your quirks, or just to feel blessed in the moment – all of these are essential to your own health and wellbeing.

Life is not always easy, there will be times when you will struggle and ask why did this happen to me, but know you can and will get through those hard times – they shall pass and you will not only survive, but come to thrive, because those times made you stronger.

Giving yourself gifts regularly however large or small, helps to take care of the inner you; to feel love, cherished and nourished throughout your soul.

The best gift I got this week, was the gift of life still living – Snow had to have surgery to remove spores from her teeth on Monday 4th January, after being unable to eat or drink barely anything due to the pain she was in. Thankfully she started eating that night after her operation, while staying at my mum and dad’s; and she started drinking out of her water bottle again yesterday. She has to be on medication for 7 days and my parents are looking after her during her recovery while I am working. My mum is also better at administering her medicine than me – I often miss her mouth! Chestnut is with her.

Monday the 4th was also a huge day for me because I was filmed by Lori to be in an asexual documentary to raise awareness, and it counts as 50% marks for her degree. She came all the way from London to Exeter to film me in my home and will be coming twice more. When it’s finished it will be 7 minutes long and on YouTube.

I have launched my Quirky T Shirt brand on Amazon.com and have 4 new designs live on there so far. I have bought that domain and will be building that site this year, to link through to Amazon.com, who I have partnered with to print and send the T-Shirts to customers. I create the designs and pay a professional designer to do the artwork.

I date myself and must get back to doing more of that in 2016. I also like buying myself gifts sometimes, and for Christmas 2015, I bought myself this Father Christmas hand muff and I bought myself this Iron Man alarm clock as a slightly belated New Year’s gift to myself. One of my alarm clocks broke before Christmas and he was so cute, reduced heavily in price, and the last one left, I just had to buy him. I felt it was intuitively meant to be. Iron Man is my favourite Marvel character and I love robots. The fact he lights up is sensational, and adds to the magic and wonder of this special, no so little alarm clock.

I did manage to fit a date in with myself recently and saw the new Star Wars movie in 3D, I didn’t realise it was a subtitled performance, but I still enjoyed it. I thought it was amazing.

I will be posting regular videos again soon on my http://www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel – However, I will be going through the chapters of My Break Through The Barriers Of Redundancy To Get Back Into Work – An A-Z ‘How To’ Guide, and giving you some key points from each one for free, to help you with your own personal and professional development. I will also be doing more videos to help you in this way throughout 2016, in line with my Quirky Academy mission to helps others with their personal and professional development, all the while embracing your quirky.

What gifts do you like to give yourself?

Stay quirky.
Write soon.

Sandra xx

A Celebration of Life!


Hi everyone

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Cinnamon just had a bath.
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It’s sad to think I won’t have Cinnamon or my Grandma this Christmas.

This morning my Cinnamon died at home in his cage. He had been severely poorly. He had barely eaten all day on Saturday. I took Sunday off from my day job to take him to the vets. He had to have surgery on most of his teeth. The bottom ones, either side, that were curving over onto his tongue and had food trapped inbetween the gaps in his teeth, and the top teeth that had split. One of his bottom teeth had somehow broken off. He had bad side effects from the anaesthetic, including peeing blood. He had a fit and still wouldn’t eat or drink by himself, and this was ongoing until he died.
I rushed Cinnamon into the emergency vets on Monday morning. Then to my own vets after, where they kept him all day and syringe fed him. I rushed him into my own vets yesterday, after he went on his side and his eyes were closing. In the taxi, his body was convulsing. It was horrid to watch. At the vets he was okay, and they said it must have been seizures. They had him in for the day and syringe fed him. He made a few piggie noises which was a good sign, but he was still very sick. Each time at home, he would barely be able to stand up and kept sleeping. Although the vets believed that his teeth stopped him from eating, two x-rays revealed he had a mass near his kidney and abdomen, that wasn’t a fatty lump. If he didn’t eat by himself by Saturday, he would have had to have an operation to remove it, or he would have died. Nature took him sooner.

There is a saying; that says start each day afresh. I have had to start the same day afresh, and turn the page immediately to start a new chapter in my life. Although I have been grieving for Cinnamon, I have had to put Daisy first. She cannot live by herself; and won’t eat or drink without Cinnamon, and would go downhill and die herself if I had left her on her own. I took action before Cinnamon was taken by my parents to be buried.

While my parents were still in my home, I researched the internet for a new bigger, because I needed my dad to take me to get one. I phoned a breeder whose piggies had all gone; but the heavens were smiling down on me and my furry family, and she had a friend who was a breeder. This friend just happened to have one single female piggie that hadn’t been able to be paired, because she is so different. As you know, being quirky myself, I love different. I went and bought her this afternoon and said she looks like a chestnut, so that is what I have named her. Daisy started eating again shortly afterwards. At the moment they are all living happily ever after, and it isn’t a fairytale in the fictional sense; but a truly magical gift that Chestnut happened to be in the right place at the right time.
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Chestnut.
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Daisy and new life partner Chestnut.

I miss you Cinnamon so much and I love you with every beat of my heart. I am so very sorry I couldn’t have saved you my sweetheart. Thankyou for the wonderful memories we will always share. I feel pain and loss for you, and mummy will always love you and treasure every moment and every whisker twitch she had from, and with, you. You were the vet’s favourite and my handsome, sexy male pig. You could give the human males a run for their money with such stunning beauty as yours. I loved putting my fingers through your locks of hair, holding you upright in my hands, which you loved, and calling you my king. You loved being the head of the household and I will miss you so very much, my precious one. Know you will be in my heart, forever and always. I love you until the ends of time and forever.

These last few days have been so emotional for me. I have been on a knife’s edge, not knowing whether Cinnamon will live to see another day, or be gone in the blink of an eye. After a few strange noises this morning from Cinnamon’s cage and a couple of light switches on and off, to see what was happening. Cinnamon sadly passed away in his sleeping position. When I took him out of the cage, he was dead, but only just, I think, because his body was so warm. I may have seen the shallows of his last breaths, or I may not have done. One thing I do know, he was a fantastic character, a great headbutter, and I will always love him no matter what.

As I celebrate your life before passing, I welcome a new life into our quirky furry family. It’s hard, but I have to remain strong and get through it. I love you forever Cinnamon. God bless you and keep you safe in his cuddle always. Goodbye my special one. I love you implicitly and always will, forever more. May your soul be at peace now, as your journey continues on the other side. Night my sweet Cinnamon. Love you forever and ever in my heart.

I am out of words and devastated, but thankful for Chestnut coming into our lives to save Daisy.

Take care of you and each other. Life is too short not to care. If you love someone or care for someone, tell them. You only get one life, and the choices you make now, will shape your future forever.
Thank you to each and every one of you, for being part of my community, my quirky life, and my quirky world. God bless each and every one of you.

Always remember to embrace your quirky, keep writing, and lead the life that only you were born to lead.

Sandra

To feel alive – Start living!


Hi everyone

Thanks for all of your kind comments and support during this difficult time of my Grandma’s passing. Her funeral was yesterday and it went well considering it was a funeral. I read my entire poem without stumbling on my words. Being quirky, I made sure it was a funeral with a difference. I went around hugging everyone, including the people carrying the coffin, the guy playing the organ, the Funeral Director, the Vicar and all guests. I even had the Birdie Song playing us out of the crematorium. Me and my Grandma used to dance to that together and do the actions.

I used to suffer with depression and thankfully I have been free of it for about two and a half years. I cured myself, and still maintain a good head through sometimes very quirky, unconventional methods. I am well aware that I have to prevent myself from going back to that dreadful place ever again. I believe life is for living, to the fullest. Although my Grandma has passed, in the rest of my life, I am the happiest I have ever been and so grateful to be living a young life. In my mind, I am getting younger and I love it. I believe in order to feel alive, you must start living. Do things that make you feel fantastic, alive, enthusiastic, excited and passionate, over and over again, and never stop. I live in my own quirky magic bubble and so long as I am in that, life is beautiful.

My Grandma loved living a full and active life. Today is a new month and time for me to start living a new life. What wonderful opportunities will come my way? I wonder? After crying a lot this morning, this is the attitude I decided to take and I went to the cinema to feel alive and enjoy a part of my life in that moment.

In my usual quirky Roving Reporter style, here is my review of Maleficent. It is less that one minute long. Enjoy it and let me know what you think.

I am currently working on reformatting the interior of my Break through the barriers of redundancy book. It would seem that the CreateSpace templates have errors in them. One template I had 5 attempts to reformat and I had to scrap each one. Self publishing is hard but I am determined to publish my book.

Write when I can

Sandra