This Is The Post I Never Wanted To Write – 4 years of life, gone in a flash! My Chestnut Furry Kid Guinea Pig Daughter Is Dead!


My guinea pig furry kid daughter Chestnut is dead. 4 hours after surgery for removal of ovarian cysts, she started bleeding and they could not spot where from, she was opened up again and bled to death. Horrific! I love her to bits. She was my best friend, love of my life, my companion for the most part of 4 years and a real joy to know. I have a phobia of eyes and the way they stare and look, hers were the ONLY eyes I have ever found to be truly beautiful and I was mesmerised by them and wanted to look at them.

She was only sat on my chest and in my lap less than 24 hours before she died and was gone forever, I love her so much. The pain cuts like a knife right now. How can something so beautiful, have her pretty life end this way? I was so close to her and bonded with her, as she lived in my room with me before moving to live with my parents this April, a few days before her 4th birthday, the 23rd of April, which was the day before mine. My birthday is the 24th of April and I will miss sharing my birthday next year with her, as a joint celebration. She moved to live with my parents, due to Angel being diagnosed with diabetes and my parents can inject her when I couldn’t, as I have a real fear of needles and blood. My mum is diabetic herself. The last blood test I had was over 4 years ago, as far as I can remember.

Angel also had the same operation for removal of ovarian cysts just before Chestnut did. Thankfully Angel is okay and doing well overall, despite being blind and diabetic. The vet was more concerned about her pulling through in theory, because of her being diabetic, and usually she would need more time to come around from the anaesthetic. I am glad it was not two piggies I lost. I am not sure I will get another one to go with Angel, in theory it would be nice for her, but my mum is indoors with her nearly all the time and I haven’t had much luck with my guinea pigs from the point of view many have died young and had major operations. I still think I have been successful sticking with pets many otherwise would have given up on long ago, so it is lucky I got them. I am just thinking maybe I should not have any more, but I don’t know, and as Angel now lives with my parents, it has to be a joint decision, not solely my own.

These are the very last photos I took of Chestnut (the 4th one being the very last), and these are the last YouTube videos of her from the night before she died. One video is from my Quirky Books TV channel this blog belongs to, and I have included a video of Chestnut and Angel from my other channel called Asexualise My Asexual Life, which I currently Vlog on every single day, live, since the 1st of July this year, 2018.

Sandra and furry kid Chestnut    

And this is a video explaining what happened and how Chestnut came to no longer be in this life!

It’s been tough. It is hard to think that this little life is no more, especially as there is nothing visibly wrong with her on the outside.

I said in one of these videos that the head vet was doing the operation, but he didn’t, he supervised only, and was not there when she started bleeding. The vet who did it said he had operated before on guinea pigs and was with her at the end. He said he even had 2 staff nurses monitoring them both for 2 hours.

I have an asexual meetup that I organised in my city this weekend and whilst the meetup is officially on Sunday, many of us are also meeting up the evening before at 6.30pm, for food, drink, and chat. 4/5 are staying in hotels. I am with asexuals for a total of 4 days, and one is staying in a hotel for 3 nights, who is my BFF (Best Friend Forever), and arriving in my city this afternoon – Friday! It is hard to be around people when grieving, but great to have support and distraction of people also. I have allowed myself to cry a ton as you will see from the last video above, and I hope it inspired you in some way, to let all of the grief, heartache and pain, out, because otherwise it will eat you up and I would never want that to happen to you.

Until next time, from me, and Chestnut in heaven, always stay true to who you are, embrace your quirky, and live your dreams xx

Write soon

Sandra xxxxxxxx

Bye, Bye Chestnut, I love you with all of my precious heart, mind, body and soul. Loved our cuddles and our laughs together, our love for each other, and those squeaky moments. I am so very sorry what happened to you and that I could not save you. I am sorry I decide to go through with the operation for you, but I thought it had to be done as you lost some weight. The vet said it was unusual for a guinea pig to be recovered from an operation for 4 hours and then start to bleed, usually if that ever happens it would be quite soon after so maybe there was another underlying cause, and for the loss of wight also. I said no to the autopsy as I did not want your beautiful body to have to go through being opened up again, it would never have brought you back. I am sorry you bled to death, I would never wish that on my gorgeous girl. And I am sorry for all of the teeth chattering I caused at the mention of this operation, you never did that before, 4 months ago, when the lump was going to be removed from your back and it was successful. I am sorry for the brief panic attack you had at the vets, when you knew I had to leave you for this operation, it is almost as if you knew what was going to happen and it scared you for dear life and your heart was beating so very fast and your insides moving left to right in quick succession, then by the time my mum looked in the box, you had instantly calmed down and was eating hay. Did you know Chestnut? Did you instinctively have an inkling of what would happen to you today? Because I think it seems likely you sensed it from the teeth chattering and panic attack, you have always been so bold and brave and not that bothered before; super strong.

I telepathically was connected to you when I thought you would be having the operation. I don’t know if it was 12.45 or 1.15pm, or somewhere in-between there, but for what seemed like a good 10 minutes, I felt like I was spiritually connected to you, bonded in time with our minds and souls as one. It was like I went into a trance and our brains were linked somehow. I told you to fight and be strong and you did, I just did not foresee that bleeding coming out of nowhere. But I knew that when the vet saw you the previous week he said there is an 80% chance of survival with this operation, that it was not a good sign, as the head vet had never said that to me before.

It is hard when I had to sign the consent form, sign it to say if anything goes wrong, there is no liability and therefore no one is responsible, it is one of those things, which it is, I just really wish my love, that ‘that’ thing, had never happened to you.

I love you so very much from the bottom of my beautiful soul and heart to yours. Let us dance in the moonlight of no mans land, let us take each other by paw and hand and dance you in my arms. Let us dance cheek to cheek one more time my love and lets say goodnight and stay in peace forever. I love you my best friend, I am crazy for you, I have a sacred and special bond that no one will ever break and I can remember you for the rest of my life and beyond. Until we meet again my love, close your eyes and rest, let God and/or, the powers that be now, hold you in its tender loving warmth and caress, knowing you will always be mine forever, but I have to let you go and take a rest, forever. It seems so final, like an eternity, but the truth is, it is. I love you my darling, now come back close into mummy’s cuddle, I honesty can never let you go, because you are mine forever. So stay with me a little and a lot, look down on me from heaven and shine your beautiful light for all the world to see. Your companion Angel is looking up to the night sky, thinking of where you have gone, little unaware of you never coming back. She will miss you madly, as do I. Angels always return to heaven to watch over us, and until she does that, you will always be my angel and with me, my forever guiding light. I am glad I have still got Angel, but I wish I had got you in person too, because I feels helpless right now, and I am reaching out to you. As tears flow over my face in droves, and my face burns with the scars of tears down my cheeks for hours, I will never, ever, forget you my darling furry kid daughter Chestnut, and I will love your forever more. My love for you never stops, it grows day-by-day, even when you are away. I love you now and always.

Part of me wants to say rest in peace, but the truth is, I want you to squeak from the heavens, always be true to who you are, and never let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle. We buried you tonight, in a towel, in my mum’s garden, dad dug up some space. They wrapped you in a green towel, green is sometimes unlucky for our family, but I hope it is lucky for you in getting you a good place in heaven and in the feeling of warmth and cosiness, as your spirit  transcends to heaven/that spiritual place above. I will miss your terribly. I already do. I don’t want to stop writing here and now, because I feel so very connected to you. My eyes look like a mess, but I don’t care, you would gladly lick them for me, if you were only here to do so. I can’t believe you have gone, I am still in disbelief. But your memory lives on in me and with me forever more. But you are more than just a memory to me, you are in my heart always.

Once again, I am so sorry if you saw this coming and I did not, I wish I could have stopped you dying, I really do. I was happy for the photos I took of us together, and the video of me and you. I love you Chestnut. In part this is not goodbye, because that just makes me cry, I love you my sweet one and always will forever and more. I always had in my mind until death do us part, that I would like to be with you until the very end. I am so sorry I was not in the recovery room with you when you passed your last breath, part of me felt like asking if I could be with you as you recovered, just in case anything should happen, but this was a very late thought, considering how long we were there waiting for you to come around. I can’t change back time, and I don’t know if I would have been allowed anyway, I wasn’t told you were dying, but found out you were dead. I asked the receptionist, who is having the problem with recovery and she said Chestnut. Then when the vet told me to come into the consultation room, and was carrying no piggies and I could see upset in his eye, like he had been crying, I said Chestnut is dead, and he said yes, Chestnut is dead, but how do you know that? I said the receptionist said she was the one having problems with recovery and I could see the upset in your eyes and just knew it, and then I broke down in tears, and later started to get panicky and pins and needles were in my blood drained fingers and my natural response was no doubt that my body was giving extra oxygen and blood to the heart and other vital organs, whilst having a panic attack. I was just very glad I gave both you and Angel a very big cuddle and lots of kisses before you went in for your operations, so you knew how very much mummy loves you and always will forever more xxxxxxxx I stayed with you until the allowable end and at least that was something. I love you Chestnut, mummy always loves you, forever and more, more, more. Nose rubs and kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss xxxxxxxx

Piggy Power! Chestnut and Angel! And I was shocked As Angel Is Now Blind!


Chestnut Guinea Pig

I thought it had been a while since you saw my girls so here we are! Chestnut is the brown one and Angel is the white and caramel one. They are both my angels though and I love them to bits. These photos were taken last month, the day after they were bathed – 16th of March. It is the very last photo taken when Angel will be able to see out of her eyes, as now she is completely blind.

They were having treatment for mites at the time, and I was shampooing them a few days after their first lot of treatment at the vets. Although no mites had been found, the vet did see the white flaky skin, like dandruff, that was on Angel’s back, and agreed that was a sign of mites so gave me some medication for it, which I had to drop onto both of their skin the following week. Otherwise, they were, (and are), happy and healthy. They were still jumping around in-between scratches. Angel did start to thrash her head from side-to-side at one point, and she did not seem to be biting at the same time, so I was worried about this. The vet said so long as she does not do that after the mites have gone, she should be fine and it will have been the mites, otherwise it could be a brain issue. Her eyes, heart and teeth, were all checked and fine. Strong heartbeat, which is good. I decided to be positive about this, as I think it was the mites, and I hope not to see her doing that again and that she will be okay in this respect, she is only 1 year and 10 months old. Guinea pigs, naturally do a thing called popcorning when they are happy, and they can twitch and do the most weirdest of movements with their body, but this was different as far as I could tell, and when I said “Angel, what you doing?” She stopped doing it. Here is a video of another person’s guinea pig popcorning and you will see what I mean about weird movements.

And if you want to see more piggy power, check out this amazing video from another guinea pig lover.

I started to write this post before she had her last trip to the vets on 3rd of April, so have updated it before posting. I had notice on Saturday 24th of March, that her eyes had started to become a bit cloudy when my mum had asked how my girls were doing. I thought maybe it was just the light in my room and the reflection of light into it. 6 days later and it was clear that her eyes were not right and I Googled it and it said there could be an infection. However, as she was jumping around her cage, playing and eating and drinking fine, and in no pain and had no eye discharge, it was like there was nothing wrong with her, because her behaviour meant there was nothing wrong. She even jumped up on my arm as usual to take her out for cleaning, so there appeared to be no sight issue. I seemed more concerned than she did.

On Saturday 31st of March, I made an appointment to see the vet on Tuesday 3rd of March, after the Easter weekend. They saw no urgency, as her behaviour was normal. My mum and dad offered to take me and my mum kindly paid for the check-up and treatment as I am currently unemployed from an employed job (still redundant). She was still scratching which was a worry. (The vet was not the usual head vet, as he was away on vacation and she has a further check-up with the head vet very soon, on Thursday 12th of April.) He examined her eyes in a dark room and declared she has cataracts in both eyes and is stone blind. She cannot see anything. I was in shock, my heart heavy and sank to my stomach. It hurt me more than her I think. She is still behaving like there is nothing much wrong with her, which I am very grateful and thankful for. And now I praise her on her beautiful pearl eyes. They take some getting use to as they are like bright white marbles. They don’t operate on cataracts in guinea pigs I was told. I feel upset that my baby girl is less than 2 years old and will never see me with her eyes again. I love her so much and feel like a furry mother in agony. In fact I am shedding tears as I write this to you, but better out than in. People around me, don’t show much emotion sometimes and I am an emotional person, I need to let it out, to feel better. She has finally stopped scratching, as the vet gave her some more mite treatment, after her cataracts diagnosis. Fingers crossed when she sees the head vet on Thursday this week. She is currently munching food as usual.

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

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Baby Angel’s First Christmas!


Baby Angel’s First Christmas and Baby’s First Christmas card.
Funny Photo of Angel Knocking her card over and my Christmas bear in the background.
Chestnut with her ‘Daughter’ Christmas Card.
Chestnut

It was baby Angel’s First Christmas last year and I got her a card and my furry kid daughter Chestnut too. Happy New Year from them and me again! 

Have a furry good time! Happy wheekmas! Ha! I couldn’t help myself. Had too much Appletiser and feeling merry and loved up on my Quirky life as usual. You can never get enough quirky!

Lots of happiness is wished for you throughout this coming year, so don’t forget to spread the love, the joy and the cheer. Remember to be yourself in all that you do, and never stop believing that you are beautiful.

Poem by Sandra Bellamy xx

I Am Sharing My Angel With You!


Angel Bellamy
Angel
Angel and Chestnut in empty laundry basket
Angel and Chestnut in an empty laundry basket while being cleaned out so there is no chance Angel can jump out like she used to try to do all the time with the smaller pink box
Chestnut and Angel
Chestnut and Angel

Baby Angel is growing and starting to get a little tamer, but she has the most loudest and well used squeak you have ever heard! She eats more than Chestnut who is two and a half years and happy to have a companion.

Close Encounters of the Furry Kind!


Hi everyone

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As you know, Cinnamon died, and I had to take immediate action to get a new companion for Daisy, so she would eat and drink again. It did the trick. Please welcome Chestnut into our furry family.

Chestnut is a Golden Agouti and reddy-brown in colour. Her birthday is the day before mine, on the 23rd of April, making her 5 months old. Being quirky, it’s great to have a new furry baby to be broody over. I am never like that with human babies, and not having kids of my own. In fact being quirky, and breaking conventions, I am not the sex, marriage and kids type. I am 100% a quirky businesswoman, entrepreneur, and love leading a young, kid-like, vibrant quirky life. It’s what I was born to be and do.

What type of life, do you like to lead?

Daisy has taken to Chestnut like a duck to water. It’s like they have been together forever.

I am away in London and Disneyland Paris next week with my cousin. No work for once in my life, in 3 years.  Can’t wait. Yipeeeee!

Write soon
Sandra

A Celebration of Life!


Hi everyone

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Cinnamon just had a bath.
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It’s sad to think I won’t have Cinnamon or my Grandma this Christmas.

This morning my Cinnamon died at home in his cage. He had been severely poorly. He had barely eaten all day on Saturday. I took Sunday off from my day job to take him to the vets. He had to have surgery on most of his teeth. The bottom ones, either side, that were curving over onto his tongue and had food trapped inbetween the gaps in his teeth, and the top teeth that had split. One of his bottom teeth had somehow broken off. He had bad side effects from the anaesthetic, including peeing blood. He had a fit and still wouldn’t eat or drink by himself, and this was ongoing until he died.
I rushed Cinnamon into the emergency vets on Monday morning. Then to my own vets after, where they kept him all day and syringe fed him. I rushed him into my own vets yesterday, after he went on his side and his eyes were closing. In the taxi, his body was convulsing. It was horrid to watch. At the vets he was okay, and they said it must have been seizures. They had him in for the day and syringe fed him. He made a few piggie noises which was a good sign, but he was still very sick. Each time at home, he would barely be able to stand up and kept sleeping. Although the vets believed that his teeth stopped him from eating, two x-rays revealed he had a mass near his kidney and abdomen, that wasn’t a fatty lump. If he didn’t eat by himself by Saturday, he would have had to have an operation to remove it, or he would have died. Nature took him sooner.

There is a saying; that says start each day afresh. I have had to start the same day afresh, and turn the page immediately to start a new chapter in my life. Although I have been grieving for Cinnamon, I have had to put Daisy first. She cannot live by herself; and won’t eat or drink without Cinnamon, and would go downhill and die herself if I had left her on her own. I took action before Cinnamon was taken by my parents to be buried.

While my parents were still in my home, I researched the internet for a new bigger, because I needed my dad to take me to get one. I phoned a breeder whose piggies had all gone; but the heavens were smiling down on me and my furry family, and she had a friend who was a breeder. This friend just happened to have one single female piggie that hadn’t been able to be paired, because she is so different. As you know, being quirky myself, I love different. I went and bought her this afternoon and said she looks like a chestnut, so that is what I have named her. Daisy started eating again shortly afterwards. At the moment they are all living happily ever after, and it isn’t a fairytale in the fictional sense; but a truly magical gift that Chestnut happened to be in the right place at the right time.
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Chestnut.
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Daisy and new life partner Chestnut.

I miss you Cinnamon so much and I love you with every beat of my heart. I am so very sorry I couldn’t have saved you my sweetheart. Thankyou for the wonderful memories we will always share. I feel pain and loss for you, and mummy will always love you and treasure every moment and every whisker twitch she had from, and with, you. You were the vet’s favourite and my handsome, sexy male pig. You could give the human males a run for their money with such stunning beauty as yours. I loved putting my fingers through your locks of hair, holding you upright in my hands, which you loved, and calling you my king. You loved being the head of the household and I will miss you so very much, my precious one. Know you will be in my heart, forever and always. I love you until the ends of time and forever.

These last few days have been so emotional for me. I have been on a knife’s edge, not knowing whether Cinnamon will live to see another day, or be gone in the blink of an eye. After a few strange noises this morning from Cinnamon’s cage and a couple of light switches on and off, to see what was happening. Cinnamon sadly passed away in his sleeping position. When I took him out of the cage, he was dead, but only just, I think, because his body was so warm. I may have seen the shallows of his last breaths, or I may not have done. One thing I do know, he was a fantastic character, a great headbutter, and I will always love him no matter what.

As I celebrate your life before passing, I welcome a new life into our quirky furry family. It’s hard, but I have to remain strong and get through it. I love you forever Cinnamon. God bless you and keep you safe in his cuddle always. Goodbye my special one. I love you implicitly and always will, forever more. May your soul be at peace now, as your journey continues on the other side. Night my sweet Cinnamon. Love you forever and ever in my heart.

I am out of words and devastated, but thankful for Chestnut coming into our lives to save Daisy.

Take care of you and each other. Life is too short not to care. If you love someone or care for someone, tell them. You only get one life, and the choices you make now, will shape your future forever.
Thank you to each and every one of you, for being part of my community, my quirky life, and my quirky world. God bless each and every one of you.

Always remember to embrace your quirky, keep writing, and lead the life that only you were born to lead.

Sandra