Quirky Books Author Sandra Bellamy Hosts WORLD’S FIRST Ever ASEXUALITY Daily Live Stream Chat Show! Asexualise My Asexual Life


I thought I was heterosexual for years, but I just didn’t like sex, as I didn’t associate sex with love, but loved to kiss. But when I realised I could no longer have sex, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it ever again, and I nearly wet myself because I was fearful of dating sexuals because of the expectation of sex at the end of the date, I knew something had to be done about it, because I felt I was the only one in the entire world, planet and universe that felt this. So I went to see a counsellor. But… it didn’t go well at all. She said the worse thing in the world, that I really didn’t want to hear. And that was if I wanted a relationship, I must have sex in order to keep a good guy. Something seemed very flawed about this perspective. If the guy was a good guy, why would he want me to do things that were not good for me, as part of a relationship with me! To me that made no sense. It was like giving a license for rape to happen, disguised as what a ‘good guy’ would be allowed to do, in order for me to keep him! This defied all my reasonable ‘healthy-for-me’ logic! So I went home and Google “I love kissing and not sex” and that is when I came across Asexuality.org and realised there were others like me who didn’t like sex, and who didn’t need it in a romantic relationship to be happy. And that’s when I discovered I am indeed a heteroromantic asexual, not heterosexual.

That was in 2014, when I first discovered I am Asexual. Back then, I couldn’t talk about sex publicly or about my past sexual relationships publicly. I had almost given up completely on the idea of having a relationship and dating ever again. And my past relationships weren’t great, but the opposite.

In October 2015, for Asexual Awareness Week, I decided to get out of my comfort zone, open up about past sexual relationships, and announce to the world, that I am in fact, a heteroromantic asexual! On my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel. It took me awhile to get used to speaking openly on my channel, but when I received comments from viewers, that they found my videos helpful and they were glad they found my channel, it made me happy to continue to create and upload videos and I decided to not copy other asexuality channels, just to become popular, but to share my own asexual life journey in order to help others, to empower asexuals to be comfortable and confident with their own Asexuality, and to educate others! Little did I know back then, how this channel would grow into the unique Asexualise My Asexual Life, Asexuality late night chat show it is today!

In 2017, I published my first ever book for Asexuals, called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Diversity, under my own publishing imprint of Quirky Books. Little did I know at the time, just how popular this book would be and continues to be, to this day. Helping asexuals, those who lack sexual attraction, and who are a recorded 1% of the population, to know there are others like them in the world, who don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse, and to know it’s okay, you are not alone and that sex does not equal love, and it is possible to live, love, and be happy, without sex forever, in a loving, happy, and healthy relationship, be it romantic or platonic, or if you don’t ever want to be ‘in a relationship’ it’s okay! (I am currently working on my second book for asexuals which will be published in 2020, with 4 more books planned for asexuals. Each book focuses on different topics, within the asexual spectrum!) So if you are a writer who is struggling at the moment, know you won’t be rich overnight, you might not be rich in money terms, for a very long time, but you will be one of the wealthiest people in that world, because you can really change lives with your written words, and that is why you should be a writer and Author of books, because you love writing so much and you want too change lives for the better forever. I regularly get people private messaging me about how this book has literally change their life, for the better, forever. And also, how much my videos on www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife have really helped them, especially when they first discovered they are asexual. I get people who are not asexual watching my channel, but the respective fact I am, subscribing to it, and becoming one of my most loyal viewers. I know I can help those people too and you.

In July 2018, I wanted to do something special for Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, so I started to live stream on my channel, every day, for 31 days. But when the 31 days was over! I got the bug for live streaming. I realised how many more asexuals I could help, rather than in private message one-on-one, if I just let anyone and everyone ask me questions directly in the live stream chat. I could offer something unique, that no other asexuality channel was offering. A way to get instant answers about asexuality, about my own life experiences, and to help other asexuals to overcome depression, like I had done in 2012; lower their anxiety, and get a better mindset and a better quality of life! Fast forward to today, and I am still live streaming daily, but now it’s evolved into being an online daily late night chat show which at its heart, is a Personal Development and Personal Growth channel for Asexuals, and the world’s first of its kind. Specialising in, Asexuality/Surviving and thriving as an asexual in this highly sexualised world, Dating/Relationships, Spirituality/Mindset, Personal Growth/Self-Love. I also do ‘no sex’ movie reviews. These days, it’s not uncommon for many (not all), of my streams to last over an hour, sometimes two, and the odd occasion has even been over 3 hours long. All of that time has been spent helping asexuals for free, and non-asexuals who also form part of my regular viewership. So on average 7-14 hours a week! My live streams most often start after 11pm UK time.

I have been learning about personal and professional development since 2012. I have also been heavily involved in the Asexual relationships and dating scene, with being on Asexual dating sites since 2014, running 3 Asexual dating Facebook groups, and learning a lot more about healthy dating and relationships dynamics since studying a pattern changing course in 2013, and subsequently learning much more in the last couple of years. I am keen to help as many asexuals as possible to develop long-lasting healthy friendships and relationships, with life, with love, with others, and with yourself. To help grow you as an individual and realise your true potential and beauty, in your own uniqueness.

I would love you to join my channel community, if you think this is something you could benefit from, please subscribe at www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife , and hit the bell icon so you get notified whenever I go live, which is usually each and every day, unless for some reason I am staying away from home and have no access to live streaming, such as over Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s.

If you are a writer, never, ever give up! Don’t wait for a publisher to publish you. Believe in your own work of genius enough to take that leap of faith and self-publish! My Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook is also changing lives. One of my best asexual friends is no longer depressed since reading that book, and has been depressed for years before I met them. They were trying to help themselves a lot and get better, and they were making some progress, but nothing seemed to actually stick enough to make a long-lasting change which they so badly needed, but since reading this book, their life has now completely changed, and they are doing things they never thought was possible before, and I am so very proud of them! A how-to, self-help book, is no good, without implementation! He doesn’t have fibromyalgia, but does have another pain condition, and understood that the techniques I explain in this book, about how to have less pain, more energy and be happier, and how to overcome depression and reduce anxiety, can easily be transferred and applied to any circumstances, regardless of it you have fibromyalgia or not! So yes, if you are reading this blog post now, and you want to be happier in your life, have less pain (especially mental pain), and more energy, I absolutely believe you can also benefit from this book too. The new year, 2020, is coming, so with this book, you can have the new upgraded version of you going into 2020, check it out here https://amzn.to/2MBZA1U and take that leap of faith! You won’t be disappointed! You’ll also get to read my own personal real life ACE Fibro Girl story! So if you enjoy reading autobiographical books, you will love this book also!

Here I am as ACE Fibro Girl! Keep writing and stay quirky always, Sandra xx

ACE Fibro Girl book

Accident to my foot – Blessing is disguise?


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So it’s a while since I last blogged on here and I am sorry I have not connected with you for a while. Truth is I have been overwhelmed with all of the stuff I do in my life, with various outstanding tasks still to be completed so I can feel like I am making genuine progress, other than just doing little bits to push along projects, and with various questions people have triggered in my brain recently that has left me questioning myself and where I am headed/heading in my life and career. See the thing is, I am not motivated by money, when really I think I ought to be more. I believe in truly changing people’s lives and to do that you do not need money, but you need money to live, eat, and keep a roof over one’s head. So I am in a constant tug of war at the moment, between all of the free stuff I do to help people, which I love doing and is very true to my heart and motivation in my life, and the improved financial life that I need to achieve. It is playing on my mind a lot lately.

Truth is, I just want to be a full-time writer, and make a shed load of money from it while changing lives through the written word. Lives of many different people from all walks of life, not just asexuals, but more books for them too as they are important to me and I really believe asexuality is also my calling, but my first love has always been writing because it make my soul dance and my heart leap and makes me feel so much better and alive when I am doing it. Most people know that many of us do not make a full-time living from writing alone, and that is a sad reality, but there are also people who do just that, and so it cannot be impossible, although usually a lot do other writing related stuff to boost income. I also wish I could make a full-time living from the asexual stuff I do as that is my hugest passion after writing – it is a close second. But I am far from doing that. I don’t help asexuals for the money, I help them to leave a lasting legacy for generations to come and to let them know they are not alone, to raise awareness on a global scale and make them feel happier and more confident within themselves and their asexual life, and I know I have helped some of them do that as they tell me. I know I have helped some of them make long lasting friendships – I have made life friendships with some too, and that to me is success and happiness, right there.

I did a test in my work years ago, about what motivates you, and first for me was a sense of responsibility, second was a sense of achievement and third was money. And the first two motivators are what drives me to do the asexual work I do and it fulfils me. The third I make a little bit of money through T-Shirts and my books, but it is pocket money, rather than substantial money. So I have to be doing other things to make more money, but asexuality and writing are truly what makes my heart leap and happy. So this is the dilemma I currently face.

Recently, because of this tug of war and overwhelm within me, I have felt like I just need a week off to be me again, if that makes sense, to just chill, maybe to have a bit of reflection, but most importantly take time out for me to do nothing much and think of nothing much as my brain needs a rest. Negativity from a few people has started to get to me when really I shouldn’t let it, especially as I still believe in myself and love myself – just I feel pulled in many directions with lots of options but not sure which one will work to make that important income to work from home and never go back to an employed job again, whilst at the moment I am still considering employed options. I also have lots of outstanding tasks that are mostly of the monotonous type, and many tasks to do and finish, and then my mind just shuts down.

So in view of the fact that I need a week off, what should happen but an accident. I was out dancing on my own on Tuesday – I started to go out dancing on my own a few months ago, and this guy fell on the floor and his head landed underneath my foot, but somehow he managed to damage the top of my foot, and my left foot is badly swollen and even the ankle too. This happened on Tuesday night and I am still recovering. I was very worried about the guy as his head I felt under my foot but I immediate removed it, and another woman helped him up straight away as I just looked down and saw him on the floor being helped up, and he said he was okay several times to her but looked dazed and kept feeling his mouth. He had been trying to dance with me, then her, but I think he was drunk and then out of the blue when I was dancing he someone managed to land underneath my foot, I felt so bad about this, even though it was not my fault at all.

So I have not done anything on my Mac until this blog post, and most of my work stuff is on my Mac – such as social media, website stuff, T-Shirt and writing stuff. I don’t have WordPress on my phone anymore as I had to delete it due to not enough internal memory only phone, and I need to keep my foot elevated, which is almost impossible to do while writing this – I am trying but my body is severely twisted with my leg out behind me on the bed for however long I can stand it being in that position, and trying to put my foot on my desk is too high up really – yes, I tried it. And besides, this foot accident is a blessing in disguise because I wanted a reason to have a week off from any work and now I have it and have been watching movies and chilling out mostly. I believe everything happens for a reason and I am happy to know I am still a positive person in this way, and also intuitive. I hope you are not like me and have to have such an excuse! Or in my case reason. I think I will allow myself the word reason in this instance. (Maybe I am too hard on myself!)

Although I did have to attend the job centre yesterday and managed to hobble my way back home which took me well over an hour when it would usually take me about half an hour. The taxi company that I used to get there, (which my mum kindly gave me the money for and my parents also did a massive food shop for me that my dad paid for – super sweet of him and them), was fully booked for an hour coming back, and I went for the bus, but decided to challenge myself by getting back home on mostly – one foot! And as I only got movement back in all 4 of my toes and could put my whole foot to the floor in the morning but not my full weight still, a challenge it was. My right leg was hurting from the over compensation of weight being put on that foot and my injured foot was still swollen when home, and my ankle seemed to have swollen back up more again.

Despite the fact my foot has been injured, I have managed to still keep up live streaming on my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel – This is the 3rd month I have live streamed every single day. Here are 2 videos about my foot on that channel from the last 2 days.

Until next time, stay quirky and write soon

Sandra xx

 

NEW ASEXUALISE.COM WEBSITE COMING SOON – UPDATE AND NEWS!!


Woohooooooo!!! So excited!!! New Asexualise.com website coming very soon!! I am on a very tight deadline for this and it has to be finished by Saturday because an asexual guy bought my Asexualise Asexual Ace Superman Style T Shirt and is going to use it as a talking point to come out to people about his asexuality and has asked if I mind him doing an unboxing video and wants to link to my new site. This video is going to go live Sunday at the latest. I feel very honoured that one of my own T Shirt designs, is going to change someone’s life in a major way. It’s amazing and I feel so blessed and thankful.

Find out what else has been going on in my Asexualise My Asexual Life video.

Love you all. Keep smiling and keep being quirky YOU!! You are gorgeous. xxxxxxxx

Asexual Coming Out Very Personal Story


Today I posted this LinkedIn Blog article below, on LinkedIn. I wanted to share it with you to give you a better understanding of why I am committed to helping other asexuals. On Tuesday, I braved telling the world, my very personal asexual coming out story. It was hard to do, but I really want to help others. I ummed and arrrr -ed about whether to put it on this blog, because you have never seen this side of my life, or known some of these details about my past, but I share everything else with you, so here I am in this video, stripped bare in the asexual sense.

For far too long many Asexuals have been living in fear of coming out about their sexuality, due to society’s pressures to conform to a majority sexual population. That’s all about to change!

This week is Asexual Awareness Week; and the official launch of my brand new Asexualise My Asexual Life YouTube channel; to Empower and Enhance Your Asexual Life – with a brand new Asexualise.com website in the pipeline. Once created, Asexualise.com will have products, services and resources for Asexuals. The main product line will be Asexual T-Shirts, that will be exclusive Asexual designs created by me and sold on Amazon, with links directly from Asexualise.com to my Amazon store. My designer has already got to work on the first two designs, so I am super excited about that.

I run the Asexual Business, Gurus and Entrepreneurs group on Facebook; putting Asexuality and business firmly together on the map together. As a Heteroromantic  Asexual myself, I know the difficulties Asexuals face in a world where sex seems like everything, and they feel like they don’t fit in. But they don’t need to fit in, they were born to stand out for all the right reasons, and I am here to give them a voice in the world.

If you are Asexual and interested in finding out more, check out my new YouTube channel to find out why I created this channel, and hear my very personal story.

And sign up to my Asexualise My Asexual Life – What’s happening monthly newsletter by clicking this link and entering your name and email – http://eepurl.com/bC7su5

What you will get; a combination of any or all:

  • Inspiration to Asexualise Your Life
  • Resources to Asexualise Your Life.

Information about:

  • Asexual products
  • Any special announcements
  • Any special events

Click the link below, and enter your name and email to sign-up : http://eepurl.com/bC7su5

This is an excerpt from the back matter of my Break Through The Barriers Of Redundancy To Get Back Into Work – An A-Z ‘How To’ guide; talking about my Quirky Coaching service:

Being a confident heteroromantic asexual, Sandra has found that others who are asexual sometimes prefer to be mentored and coached by someone who understands their orientation and how it impacts their life or business. She is part of many online asexual groups and runs the Asexual Business, Gurus and Entrepreneurs group on Facebook. This group gives those who are asexual and have an interest in business, creativity and the arts; a place to express themselves, to make new friends, share like-minded ideas, share their work and interests, get feedback and support, and help each other’s businesses to grow.

I line with my Break Through Barriers attitude and Embrace Your Quirky philosophy; my aim is to have asexuals and sexuals live along side each other in harmony. Even though I am asexual, personally don’t like sex, and have asexual friends, there will always be place in my life and business for sexual people and I have many sexual and highly sexual friends. I have organised local asexual meet-ups and plan to meet more asexuals in the future.

If you are asexual, check out my Asexual Business, Gurus and Entrepreneurs group on Facebook, and tell me how do you asexualise your life? If you are not asexual, thank you for taking the time to read this article, I look forward to working with you in one of my other World Of Quirky Capacities …. and before you go, there will be inspirational T-Shirts exclusively designed by me, to purchase on Amazon soon, so don’t feel left out, there is something for everyone at world Of Quirky.

I would love to read your comments. Until next time, write soon, and embrace your quirky.

Sandra

Asexualise My Asexual Life – New YouTube Channel


Happy Asexual Awareness Week. As usual I have been, and am, a very busy bee. I just officially launched my second YouTube channel: Asexualise My Asexual Life. I am now incorporating Asexuality into my www.worldofquirky.com organisation and www.quirkyacademy.com business. I have run the Asexual Business, Gurus and Entrepreneurs Group on Facebook for a while now – In association with Quirky Academy, and I spend a lot of my life in Asexual groups, talking to other asexuals, and more and more I am getting asked for my help and advice, so I created this channel to enhance and empower their asexual life and give asexuals a voice in the world. I bought Asexualise.com that I have yet to create with products, services and resources for asexual. I am going to be creating and selling Exclusive designed T-Shirts for asexual and also inspirational and embrace your quirky T-Shirts on Amazon, and selling them through my sites. Watch this space for more information.

If you are asexual, please subscribe to my channel and you can also sign-up to my monthly newsletter by clicking this link and entering your details in the form provided: http://eepurl.com/bC7su5

If you are not asexual, but love personal and professional development and embracing your quirky, you can subscribe to my channel for this blog www. youtube.com/quirkybooksTV

I still have a blog award to nominate for from Paula.

Embrace Your Quirky and each others.

Write soon

Sandra