Asexual Awareness Week! What Is Asexuality? Am I asexual? Asexuality Q&A With Asexual Entrepreneur And Author Sandra Bellamy


Asce Awareness Week!
Happy Asexual Awareness Week! Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is the lack of sexual attraction, this means we don’t get the need, urge, or want, for sexual intercourse!

Asexual Awareness Week is from Sunday 22nd Oct-Sat 28th of October 2017. Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I asexual?” And, “What is Asexuality?

Have you ever thought to yourself; I am not that bothered about sex; I don’t want sex; I don’t need sex; I don’t love in that way; I am not that type of person; but you are scared of saying that out aloud because society usually validates relationships with how good your sex life is? And society keeps shoving sex down your throat – Buy this to get more sex! Have to this get more sex! You need sex to be happy! You need sex to love! You need sex to live! I am here to tell you, this simply is not true for everyone. And if this sounds like you, there is nothing wrong with you, you are likely to be asexual and that is a great thing, because it means you have the capacity to love and be loved, in a relationship, without sex.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is barely unheard of and deeply misunderstood. Many asexuals are asexual from birth, but do not realise it until much later in life. In fact, it was a fellow blogger who used to write about sex in an educative way, not a lustful way, that first suggested I was asexual. But back then I hated the fact the word had the word sexual in it, it sounded alien to me, and I quickly retorted back in a message that I just don’t associate sex with love, but I like kissing, and that was the end of that. I am not sure how many years that was prior to my discovery, but in 2014, I went to see a counsellor, because I could no longer go on dating heterosexuals as it used to make me almost wet myself at the thought of the expectation they would want it to lead to sex. When I told the counsellor I was worried that I would like a relationship, but that I may not be able to be in one again, because I don’t like sex, she said that I would need to have sex in order to keep a good guy!! I thought this can’t be right, surely there must be others like me, and why should I have to do something I don’t want to do, just to have a good relationship? So I went home and Googled ‘I love kissing but not sex’, and it came up with asexuality and www.asexuality.org which is the biggest online community for asexuals. I read some of their forums threads, before registering at a later date, and I really related to what they were saying and I thought, ‘Finally, there are people like me in the world, who can love and have relationships without sex, and who want relationships without sex, and I am not alone, and I never have to have sex again in my life’, it was such a relief!!

The full definition of asexuality is: Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, and/or little to no interest in sexual activities. Notice the OR. So although most asexuals are born asexual and do not realise it, there are a smaller number of people who identify as asexual later in life, because things have changed for them and they are permanently no longer interested in sexual activities, even if previously they lead a very heterosexual life. I was born asexual but did not realise it, and I was in heterosexual relationships for years, but I did not experience sexual attraction as I had no urge, need, or want to have sex, even with someone I loved. Although I have had sex in the past and my last long-term ex was good at it, I always preferred his kiss and finger to his penis, and had sex because I felt I had to!

Within the Asexuality sexual orientation, there are subcategories on something called the Asexual Spectrum. If you think of the A in Asexual to mean ‘absence’ of sexual attraction, you can’t go far wrong. So if you think of it as starting off as aromantic asexuals – those who are absent of romantic attraction and absent of sexual attraction, then the greyromantics, those that experience a little romance in certain circumstances but not sexual attraction, and the demi-romantics, those who can only experience romantic attraction, once a strong emotional bond has been formed, but not sexual attraction. Then there are the romantics. Within the romantics; those who experience romantic attraction, there are heteroromantics (attracted to the opposite sex or gender romantically but not sexually), which is what I am. I am only romantically attracted to guys. I want to kiss, hold hands and cuddle, but not have sex with them and I am never attracted to women. There are the homoromantics, (attracted to the same sex or gender romantically but not sexually), biromantics, (those attracted to both male and female romantically but not sexually), and panromantics, (those attracted to any gender romantically but not sexually, when I say any gender, this could include attraction towards those who are agenda and gender fluid). This list is not exhaustive, this is just the main ones. Then there are those asexuals on the more sexual end of the asexual spectrum, known as the grey asexuals and demi-sexuals. The grey asexuals, who are often also known as Grey A, or sometimes greysexuals, are those who experience sexual attraction but only under limited, or rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience sexual attraction but not enough to want to act on it. Grey asexual, also used to be a catch all term for those who are somewhere between asexual and sexual, but don’t quite fit into an asexual box. However, this definition is no longer on Aven Wiki. Which is a resource about asexuality from www.asexuality.org. In my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I redefine Grey A to mean asexual with Grey Areas, such as sexual behaviours. So my Grey Area for example is I love passionate kissing and I experience high levels of arousal, but I never experience sexual attraction. This means that I can exhibit some sexual behaviour, even though I never have a need, urge, or want for sex. But I don’t feel comfortable just saying I am a straightforward heteroromantic, because many heteroromantics don’t like kissing as much as I do, or how passionately as I do, so I don’t fit the Grey A box as it is described, but I have Grey Areas, which is why I think Grey A, should be a separate definition to grey asexual and greysexual. And finally we have the demisexuals, those who usually experience romantic attraction, but can only experience sexual attraction once a strong emotional bond is formed and this could take up to 2 years or more, for example. And this if you like, is where asexuality ends and the sexual spectrum starts. Although there are other asexual categories and subcategories, even within the categories I already mentioned, but I don’t want to confuse you as it’s a lot to get your head around. Subscribe to my channel if you want to know more about asexuality www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife

I wrote a book about asexuality, you can shop for it here by clicking on this link: Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity.

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/acexualise or Twitter www.twitter.com/asexualise.

If someone is asexual, they are often referred to as ace, and I usually always end my asexual blog posts with always stay ace!

As this is my writing and quirky blog, always stay quirky and write soon! Sandra xx

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New Asexualise Dating Group Without Sex – Asexual Awareness Week


stencil-asexualisedatingfacebook-coverasexuality-awareness-week-image-with-asexualise-com-jpg

This is Asexual Awareness Week and as you may or may not know, I am asexual – I am a heteroromantic, hyper-romantic, Grey A, Asexual (younger) Cougar, who does not like sex, just kissing. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person – so I have never looked at a guy and thought I want sex with him! But in my case, I have thought I would like to snog his face off! Some asexuals are also aromantics and do not experience romantic attraction either – I do!

In plain terms I am only attracted to guys romantically who are younger than me, and I tend to only get attracted to younger foreign guys and would like to have a romantic relationship with an asexual guy, without sex, marriage or kids, as a living apart together forever relationship. I like kissing a lot. I have not found a suitable asexual guy. I am on two asexual dating sites and recently created a new group on Facebook that is strictly for Asexuals only, who want to date other asexuals and have a relationship without sex. If you are asexual and happen to be reading this – here is the link http://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating

If you want to know more about asexuality – check out my website for asexuals http://www.asexualise.com and join my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/acexualise  – Find me on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/asexualise  and check out my YouTube channel

Asexualise My Asexual Life – New YouTube Channel


Happy Asexual Awareness Week. As usual I have been, and am, a very busy bee. I just officially launched my second YouTube channel: Asexualise My Asexual Life. I am now incorporating Asexuality into my www.worldofquirky.com organisation and www.quirkyacademy.com business. I have run the Asexual Business, Gurus and Entrepreneurs Group on Facebook for a while now – In association with Quirky Academy, and I spend a lot of my life in Asexual groups, talking to other asexuals, and more and more I am getting asked for my help and advice, so I created this channel to enhance and empower their asexual life and give asexuals a voice in the world. I bought Asexualise.com that I have yet to create with products, services and resources for asexual. I am going to be creating and selling Exclusive designed T-Shirts for asexual and also inspirational and embrace your quirky T-Shirts on Amazon, and selling them through my sites. Watch this space for more information.

If you are asexual, please subscribe to my channel and you can also sign-up to my monthly newsletter by clicking this link and entering your details in the form provided: http://eepurl.com/bC7su5

If you are not asexual, but love personal and professional development and embracing your quirky, you can subscribe to my channel for this blog www. youtube.com/quirkybooksTV

I still have a blog award to nominate for from Paula.

Embrace Your Quirky and each others.

Write soon

Sandra

 

Who Else, is Young, Free and Asexy?


Hi everyone

It’s time to celebrate Asexual Awareness Week.

Asexual Awareness Week
Asexual Awareness Week – Image from Asexual Aces Community on Facebook

Being quirky and different, it will come as no surprise to you that I am asexual. A heteromaticgrey asexual cougar, to be precise. I only discovered this around March/April time this year and I have to say the Asexual communities are awesome. It’s great to be able to chat online with like-minded people, who have a similar sense of humour and share some of the same values and beliefs as me. Of course, being completely quirky, I am a grey asexual, meaning that I don’t quite fit any specific type and it’s almost impossible to find a suitable romantic match. So for now, I will continue to be, young, free and Asexy – Well, I will let you decide on the latter.

Asexual Awareness Week
Asexuality Awareness Week – Image from Asexual Groups page on Facebook

There are so many variables with the asexual spectrum and someone who says they are just asexual, means they don’t experience sexual attraction. A lot of asexuals won’t want or care for sex, or be bothered about it one way or the other. A lot won’t like much kissing, if any at all.

What does a heteromanticgrey asexual cougar mean for me? Well, being quirky should give it away.

I categorically don’t like sex. I experience romantic and sensual attraction, and usually to guys, and only guys, who younger than me. Often in their early to mid twenties. Mostly foreign guys actually. I get attracted to their face and can relate well to guys that age group, as most of my male friends are in their early to mid twenties. I love lots of kissing and affection, which is where the grey area comes into it. I also don’t want kids or marriage, which a lot of asexual people do.

Never be afraid to be who you are. I don’t fit into the social norms, I break conventions and it’s great. I love embracing my quirky. Otherwise, I would be living for others and not me. So be who you want to be and enjoy your life implicitly.

Who else is young, free and Asexy?

Who else thinks they may be asexual, but not sure?

If you think you may be asexual or want to know more about it here is a link to a helpful site: http://www.asexuality.org You can also search for asexual groups on Facebook.