As you know from previous posts, I just have one furry kid daughter guinea pig now, called Angel. Whom I had the blessing of spending a lot of time with when I was at my parents during Christmas and at new year. I did a live stream video of her eating one of her treats on Boxing Day and so here it is, especially for you! Enjoy it!
I apologies in advance if the sound if off – it was recorded live!
My guinea pig furry kid daughter Chestnut is dead. 4 hours after surgery for removal of ovarian cysts, she started bleeding and they could not spot where from, she was opened up again and bled to death. Horrific! I love her to bits. She was my best friend, love of my life, my companion for the most part of 4 years and a real joy to know. I have a phobia of eyes and the way they stare and look, hers were the ONLY eyes I have ever found to be truly beautiful and I was mesmerised by them and wanted to look at them.
She was only sat on my chest and in my lap less than 24 hours before she died and was gone forever, I love her so much. The pain cuts like a knife right now. How can something so beautiful, have her pretty life end this way? I was so close to her and bonded with her, as she lived in my room with me before moving to live with my parents this April, a few days before her 4th birthday, the 23rd of April, which was the day before mine. My birthday is the 24th of April and I will miss sharing my birthday next year with her, as a joint celebration. She moved to live with my parents, due to Angel being diagnosed with diabetes and my parents can inject her when I couldn’t, as I have a real fear of needles and blood. My mum is diabetic herself. The last blood test I had was over 4 years ago, as far as I can remember.
Angel also had the same operation for removal of ovarian cysts just before Chestnut did. Thankfully Angel is okay and doing well overall, despite being blind and diabetic. The vet was more concerned about her pulling through in theory, because of her being diabetic, and usually she would need more time to come around from the anaesthetic. I am glad it was not two piggies I lost. I am not sure I will get another one to go with Angel, in theory it would be nice for her, but my mum is indoors with her nearly all the time and I haven’t had much luck with my guinea pigs from the point of view many have died young and had major operations. I still think I have been successful sticking with pets many otherwise would have given up on long ago, so it is lucky I got them. I am just thinking maybe I should not have any more, but I don’t know, and as Angel now lives with my parents, it has to be a joint decision, not solely my own.
These are the very last photos I took of Chestnut (the 4th one being the very last), and these are the last YouTube videos of her from the night before she died. One video is from my Quirky Books TV channel this blog belongs to, and I have included a video of Chestnut and Angel from my other channel called Asexualise My Asexual Life, which I currently Vlog on every single day, live, since the 1st of July this year, 2018.
And this is a video explaining what happened and how Chestnut came to no longer be in this life!
It’s been tough. It is hard to think that this little life is no more, especially as there is nothing visibly wrong with her on the outside.
I said in one of these videos that the head vet was doing the operation, but he didn’t, he supervised only, and was not there when she started bleeding. The vet who did it said he had operated before on guinea pigs and was with her at the end. He said he even had 2 staff nurses monitoring them both for 2 hours.
I have an asexual meetup that I organised in my city this weekend and whilst the meetup is officially on Sunday, many of us are also meeting up the evening before at 6.30pm, for food, drink, and chat. 4/5 are staying in hotels. I am with asexuals for a total of 4 days, and one is staying in a hotel for 3 nights, who is my BFF (Best Friend Forever), and arriving in my city this afternoon – Friday! It is hard to be around people when grieving, but great to have support and distraction of people also. I have allowed myself to cry a ton as you will see from the last video above, and I hope it inspired you in some way, to let all of the grief, heartache and pain, out, because otherwise it will eat you up and I would never want that to happen to you.
Until next time, from me, and Chestnut in heaven, always stay true to who you are, embrace your quirky, and live your dreams xx
Bye, Bye Chestnut, I love you with all of my precious heart, mind, body and soul. Loved our cuddles and our laughs together, our love for each other, and those squeaky moments. I am so very sorry what happened to you and that I could not save you. I am sorry I decide to go through with the operation for you, but I thought it had to be done as you lost some weight. The vet said it was unusual for a guinea pig to be recovered from an operation for 4 hours and then start to bleed, usually if that ever happens it would be quite soon after so maybe there was another underlying cause, and for the loss of wight also. I said no to the autopsy as I did not want your beautiful body to have to go through being opened up again, it would never have brought you back. I am sorry you bled to death, I would never wish that on my gorgeous girl. And I am sorry for all of the teeth chattering I caused at the mention of this operation, you never did that before, 4 months ago, when the lump was going to be removed from your back and it was successful. I am sorry for the brief panic attack you had at the vets, when you knew I had to leave you for this operation, it is almost as if you knew what was going to happen and it scared you for dear life and your heart was beating so very fast and your insides moving left to right in quick succession, then by the time my mum looked in the box, you had instantly calmed down and was eating hay. Did you know Chestnut? Did you instinctively have an inkling of what would happen to you today? Because I think it seems likely you sensed it from the teeth chattering and panic attack, you have always been so bold and brave and not that bothered before; super strong.
I telepathically was connected to you when I thought you would be having the operation. I don’t know if it was 12.45 or 1.15pm, or somewhere in-between there, but for what seemed like a good 10 minutes, I felt like I was spiritually connected to you, bonded in time with our minds and souls as one. It was like I went into a trance and our brains were linked somehow. I told you to fight and be strong and you did, I just did not foresee that bleeding coming out of nowhere. But I knew that when the vet saw you the previous week he said there is an 80% chance of survival with this operation, that it was not a good sign, as the head vet had never said that to me before.
It is hard when I had to sign the consent form, sign it to say if anything goes wrong, there is no liability and therefore no one is responsible, it is one of those things, which it is, I just really wish my love, that ‘that’ thing, had never happened to you.
I love you so very much from the bottom of my beautiful soul and heart to yours. Let us dance in the moonlight of no mans land, let us take each other by paw and hand and dance you in my arms. Let us dance cheek to cheek one more time my love and lets say goodnight and stay in peace forever. I love you my best friend, I am crazy for you, I have a sacred and special bond that no one will ever break and I can remember you for the rest of my life and beyond. Until we meet again my love, close your eyes and rest, let God and/or, the powers that be now, hold you in its tender loving warmth and caress, knowing you will always be mine forever, but I have to let you go and take a rest, forever. It seems so final, like an eternity, but the truth is, it is. I love you my darling, now come back close into mummy’s cuddle, I honesty can never let you go, because you are mine forever. So stay with me a little and a lot, look down on me from heaven and shine your beautiful light for all the world to see. Your companion Angel is looking up to the night sky, thinking of where you have gone, little unaware of you never coming back. She will miss you madly, as do I. Angels always return to heaven to watch over us, and until she does that, you will always be my angel and with me, my forever guiding light. I am glad I have still got Angel, but I wish I had got you in person too, because I feels helpless right now, and I am reaching out to you. As tears flow over my face in droves, and my face burns with the scars of tears down my cheeks for hours, I will never, ever, forget you my darling furry kid daughter Chestnut, and I will love your forever more. My love for you never stops, it grows day-by-day, even when you are away. I love you now and always.
Part of me wants to say rest in peace, but the truth is, I want you to squeak from the heavens, always be true to who you are, and never let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle. We buried you tonight, in a towel, in my mum’s garden, dad dug up some space. They wrapped you in a green towel, green is sometimes unlucky for our family, but I hope it is lucky for you in getting you a good place in heaven and in the feeling of warmth and cosiness, as your spirit transcends to heaven/that spiritual place above. I will miss your terribly. I already do. I don’t want to stop writing here and now, because I feel so very connected to you. My eyes look like a mess, but I don’t care, you would gladly lick them for me, if you were only here to do so. I can’t believe you have gone, I am still in disbelief. But your memory lives on in me and with me forever more. But you are more than just a memory to me, you are in my heart always.
Once again, I am so sorry if you saw this coming and I did not, I wish I could have stopped you dying, I really do. I was happy for the photos I took of us together, and the video of me and you. I love you Chestnut. In part this is not goodbye, because that just makes me cry, I love you my sweet one and always will forever and more. I always had in my mind until death do us part, that I would like to be with you until the very end. I am so sorry I was not in the recovery room with you when you passed your last breath, part of me felt like asking if I could be with you as you recovered, just in case anything should happen, but this was a very late thought, considering how long we were there waiting for you to come around. I can’t change back time, and I don’t know if I would have been allowed anyway, I wasn’t told you were dying, but found out you were dead. I asked the receptionist, who is having the problem with recovery and she said Chestnut. Then when the vet told me to come into the consultation room, and was carrying no piggies and I could see upset in his eye, like he had been crying, I said Chestnut is dead, and he said yes, Chestnut is dead, but how do you know that? I said the receptionist said she was the one having problems with recovery and I could see the upset in your eyes and just knew it, and then I broke down in tears, and later started to get panicky and pins and needles were in my blood drained fingers and my natural response was no doubt that my body was giving extra oxygen and blood to the heart and other vital organs, whilst having a panic attack. I was just very glad I gave both you and Angel a very big cuddle and lots of kisses before you went in for your operations, so you knew how very much mummy loves you and always will forever more xxxxxxxx I stayed with you until the allowable end and at least that was something. I love you Chestnut, mummy always loves you, forever and more, more, more. Nose rubs and kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss xxxxxxxx
Photos of Chestnut looking cute after her operation at the end of June, looking remarkably well, thank goodness xx She is my bestest friend and I love her implicitly. xx
These photos say a thousands words. Have you ever seen such a beautiful baby girl! She is 4, but will always be my baby girl forever! I miss her as she lives with my parents now because Angel has diabetes and I can’t inject her but my parents can. I try not to dwell on this! Everything is meant to happen for a reason.
Until next time, embrace your quirky and write soon
Sandra xx Love from me and Chestnut (and Angel) xx
It has been a while since I blogged on here (about 2 weeks) and I am sorry for that. Life has been so hectic lately and I have got tons of stuff to share with you that I will be spreading over a few blog posts!
First, Chestnut had to have an operation to remove a lump from her back that was in a very awkward position as it was near to her backbone. Thankfully she came around from the anaesthetic super quickly and she stayed with me for 10 days in recovery before going back to live at my parent’s home with Angel! But for a while, she would not eat hardly any piggy mix or drink any water! She was eating lots of hay and some vegetables, although not as many as usual and I had to tempt her with different stuff. I gave her cucumber and the vet said she was not dehydrated so must have had enough water from her food. I was concerned about this and it would seem that Chestnut was missing Angel, whilst Angel was fine without Chestnut! The vet said her appetite may have also been affected by the trauma from her operation, but I think it was mostly missing Angel. She had started to eat and drink again much more about 48 hours before she went to live with my parents again. I gave her a lot of love and attention and have videos included in this post from when she was with me. I thought it would be the opposite way around, as Angel is blind and diabetic, I thought she would by moping around her cage, but glad she wasn’t. I did give my mum a cuddly toy dog to keep her company, that was almost the same colour as her own fur! Maybe that helped! Although Angel did not seem lonely or worried about Chestnut not being there, they rubbed noses my mum said when Chestnut went back into the cage. I visited them this week, on Monday July 16th, and they were eating and drinking lots and very happy together.
So the other thing that preoccupied me a lot was preparing to speak at the UK Asexuality Conference in London on 8th of July! Which was amazing and a dream come true for me, and I will have footage of my talks from it, when it has finished being edited processed and is uploaded on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, one video is currently processing as am writing this! So I had a lot to do for that in terms of my presentation and speech preparation, and I also had to create my new www.asexualiseacademy.com site which is the World’s First Online Training Centre And School For Asexuals And Asexuality, which I launched on the same day as the conference, and it took 4 days to create my first online video training course for that which is Asexuality Basics For Beginners, An Introductory To Asexuality, and is free on my www.asexualiseacademy.com site if you want to check it out and learn more about Asexuality.
I hung out with one of my Asexual friends for 3 days, who also filmed me for my channel and we got on really well so that was fabulous considering it was the first time we met in person after being friends online for over 2 years. We did Skype a few times before we met in person. I also saw another Asexual friend at the conference who had a guest speaking spot during my “How To Arrange An Asexual Meetup” talk. I arrange Asexual meetups and hold them in my City of Exeter in the UK, but people come from all over to my main meets and my next one of those I am arranging for September and we should be doing VR gaming for it! Really looking forward to that! I also saw a non-asexual best friend whilst in London too. Seeing 3 best male friends over 3 days was fab for me and thoroughly enjoyable! The 3rd day I was in London, I went with my Asexual friend – the one I was hanging out with for 3 days and who filmed for my channel, to the London Aquarium and have photos from that which I will put in a blog another post for you! So you have some exciting posts come!
Here are the videos of Chestnut:
I think Chestnut was the perfect film star! Especially as these were recorded live and she had been through a big operation not that long ago! It was a miracle she was so lively to be honest and I was very glad for that! Sorry for the distortion on these videos with both picture and words, especially the first is bad – it was live and couldn’t be helped!
On Monday 17th of July, it was Angel’s first birthday! These photos were taken of the morning after, the night before! Chestnut, the brown piggie, is her companion and she is 3. Although I don’t think they look much different in age! What do you think?
I did a Facebook Live on the night of her birthday and she got a bit camera shy!
I have started work on my Quirky Books e-book store, which means you will be able to purchase my digital books directly from it, and it should be up and running in the next few weeks, and it will also have a blog on there too – with some of my best posts from my current blogs, including this one, AND new fresh content! To inspire you to live your best life and fulfil your writing dreams.
INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY DOCUMENTARY: BRISTOL ZOO. This video took me over 6 months of learning IMovie and editing to create it. In this video I take you on my journey of my self-date for International Celebrate Being Single Day. From the moment I get to the train station, to going to the zoo, for food, and the cinema. I did create a shorter version of this without the mouse house that has tons of sound editing, but unfortunately a lot of my files went missing from that version. This version could have been 40 minutes originally so I did well to get it down to almost 24 minutes.
Thanks for all your 6 year blogging anniversary wishes, much appreciated. xx Hugs xx
Baby Angel is growing and starting to get a little tamer, but she has the most loudest and well used squeak you have ever heard! She eats more than Chestnut who is two and a half years and happy to have a companion.
So you have now met my Angel when she was 7 weeks old on 5th of August. She was part of a small little but her mother and father seemed normal size and her brother was a bit bigger – I saw them all! She is used to being outdoors so not used to living in and been trying to escape her waiting-to-be-cleaned-out box!
Yesterday, Angel and Chestnut were examined by the vet – teeth, tummy, heart and weight, are all good, and no sign of any mites after Chestnut finishing her treatment, so both of them can now live togther. – And I can breathe a sigh of relief that finally I have two healthy piggies right now! And I only have one cage to clean out again! Yipee!
Once my own health has improved more, then I will be flying. I have neck pain and numbness in my hands today along with ear pain and feeling a bit outof it/dizzy, but it may be from lifting the top half of the cage and twisting it around to fix the platform with one of it’s stoppers that had come out. Although the hand numbness I have had on and off over the last couple of months, with some dizziness and lack of energy – not like me!
I have some exciting news! Tomorrow I am going to be featured on a USA Expert Business podcast called New Inceptions. It is a full-length interview that will be on ITunes and not to be missed! Watch this space tomorrow!
Stay Quirky and Write soon
Fogot to mention that Angel does like the Celine Dion song – You are my Angel!
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