Always keep writing and never give up on your dreams.
In the new year I will have my “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar – Fibro Girl To The Rescue” book out. It is about how to manage fibromyalgia to have less pain and more energy. Part autobiographical, it is told from my own experiences, knowledge, and using my Quirky Methods! I hope it helps a ton of people! There is a lot of life skills in it – so even if you don’t have fibro, it will still be a good read. I have some more editing to do before I can publish it, but in essence the meat is done. And next year, I will have my first Quirky Academy course out and that academy will be my main focus for next year!
You may recognise this pic from my last post, as it is the thumbnail for this video. This is the first time I have ever shown a tour of my flat. Happy Christmas!
Much love and light to you. Keep shining and bringing your joy to those who are blessed to know you.
FINALLY – I get to continuing writing my How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar book! Yeeessss!! After a succession of rather frustrating challenges, one may have easily given up on the uphill fight to get back on track, but not me! I was made officially redundant from my full-time day job on September 21st, but stayed on part-time to trial my replacement part-time position for 4 weekends, then on the 15th of October, it was the end!! Of that life anyway. 2 days later, 10 of my websites were hacked and you can read the rest of my challenges in my last post https://quirkybooks.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/you-have-the-power-within-you-motivational-inspirational-poem-by-sandra-bellamy-livestream/ Finally, after creating another asexual Facebook group to help those on the Grey Asexual/Demisexual end of the asexual spectrum to date others like them, after blogging to 3 blogs, vlogging, answering messages, publishing a newsletter, making sure content is prepared for my posts and pages – I can at last get back to the true love of my life (other than my guinea pigs), of writing, and boy is my soul feeling so much better and energised because of it! I really want to make my dream come true of writing full-time – but I also think the lord/destiny/creative intuition has even bigger plans for me in 2018! Testing me to my limits – bring it on!!
So this week I get to give my Christmas gift to myself, in the lead up to Christmas day, I get to finish writing my Fibromyalgia book called: “How To Manage Fibromyalgia Like A Superhero Rockstar – Fibro Girl To The Rescue.” “How to increase your energy and decrease your Fibromyalgia pain.” And it feels fantastic. It is great to have left a book since October and be able to re-read the whole thing with fresh eyes and add more relevant content to it! I have to say, reading the beginning part I was completely swept up in the fast pace of it, I thought, ‘this is a good book and I wrote this – wow!’ I impress myself sometimes by what I come out with in my Quirky Books, I think, ‘how do I know such stuff, how do I know what to write?’ It just comes naturally from knowledge and experience, and this book has been predominantly written from my mind to my Mac, which is a very difficult skill to learn and master, as the number one problem with writer’s block is staring at a blank screen – you shouldn’t do it! But, this is how I have been able to push myself this time around! I love challenging my beliefs and limits! I started on paper – which was key to getting on with it! So I did not just stare at a blank screen for the first pages of the book! But often I will flesh out the whole book on paper first – I will usually write something for every chapter heading, but this time I didn’t, I created some of the headings as I went along! So now you know what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do, in the rule of writing a non-fiction book to give you the best chance of completing it! With that in mind, I am going to get on with my book, time is of the essence and momentum is high right now, so I need to act on it fast, and with care about my writing!
What gift are you giving yourself this Christmas??
Happy Christmas! Love you, stay quirky and write soon xx
You Have The Power Within You was the first Motivational/Inspirational poem I have done on a LiveStream – check it out and let me know what you think in the comments below??
Everbody has the power within them to achieve great things, I always remember what Entrepreneur, Author and Speaker, Brendon Burchard say, “honour the struggle” and “your current circumstances do not dictate your future” – this is true! In 2018, I am going to be an online course trainer for myself, teaching others personal and professional development stuff, as well as getting other experts onboard – cannot wait! Super excited about that!!
I have had a lot of challenges over the past couple of months:
Redundancy from my day job of 5 years that I enjoyed (everything happens for a reason)
10 websites hacked – only just got every one of them back to some form of normality last week! ( Learnt a ton about websites security and using CPanel/File Manager, MyPHP Admin, MySQL, and more of a pro now, so hopefully it won’t happen again with the amount of security I now have in place on each site) and my completely new websites www.sandrabellamy.com and www.sandrabellamy.co.uk that I rebuilt from scratch, are looking good! Check them out and let me know what you think in the comments below please??
Split up with my first asexual boyfriend I ever had as he was no good for me and turned out not to be the loving and smitten person with me, that I thought he was! Now looking forward getting a more trustworthy guy for me and one who values my worth, or staying single forever, but hugely career focused for the next year – 2018!
Commercial printer (only printer I have, out of action for a month – finally got it working again in the last week!)
Appliance I bought was safety recalled (got a better model at no extra charge, and difference in cost with the higher insurance paid for me)
Have done no more work on Fibro book since being made redundant and I have people wanting to buy it (have connected online with more Fibro sufferers though, who may end up buying it)
I have decided to live more as ‘quirky’ me since being made redundant and sleep in the day and work throughout the night now usually – great for the soul and far more productive – If I get a ‘normal’ job it will be hard, as I love my life so much right now, in this moment, and forever – but I need money coming in! So we shall have to see what destiny holds for me. I am not afraid of hard work and do that every day almost – apart from the odd day if I see a friend! Even then, if I can squeeze work in then I will!! But next year needs to be more implementation, risk taking, and far more productive for me. Next year, will be my year to shine! Watch this space!
So why am I famous at last?? Good question!! Because I am in Corey Poirier’s new book – The Book of Why and How! – Secrets to Success and Abundance! If you haven’t got yourself a copy yet, and I strongly urge you to do so, you can visit www.thebookofwhy.com Corey is a multiple-time TEDX Speaker, Award Winning Speaker, Thought-Leader and Best-Selling Author, and all round good guy!! A book changed his life, and he has interviewed tons of thought-leaders and experts for this book, to help you to change your own life!! He just loves to give back. What are you waiting for, go grab yourself a copy of The Book Of Why, and change life for the better, forever!! Remember, it only takes one new piece of information, to lead to a new way of thinking, and a new way of life!!
As always, stay quirky! Oh and www.sandrabellamy.com got a complete redesign – check it out if you dare!!!! And let me know what you think?
Mental Health Awareness Is Key To Understanding Yourself!
I am very fortunate to have had my self love quote linked to an article about mental health, which I wanted to reblog, and say thank you to the blogger, (Dr. Neal Ranen, M.D.), who has brought this article to our attention. It is well written in 1st person.
On the 8th of November, I reached 7 years of blogging on this Quirky Books blog, I cannot thank you enough for all of your love, care and support over these years, it has meant such a lot.
Some people don’t understand why I don’t just migrate this blog to some other site of mine, but I love it where is it, right now and for 7 years. This blog is like my comfy armchair, my sofa in my virtual lounge, and I love talking to you in it!
Thanks for 7 beautiful years, and I am looking for the next 7.
It has been a really difficult and sad time for me lately, because on Sunday 29th of October, I had to split with my asexual boyfriend. The guy who I thought was my soulmate, and who was really kind, sweet and loving towards me, turned out not to be so nice after all, not loving me like he first did, or valuing my worth, and in fact exhibited some controlling behaviour! It is hard when you think you know someone, then find out they are not the person you thought they are and he did a good job of fooling me!! I really thought he truly and deeply cared for me, but I was mistaken. His behaviour appeared to change so quickly!
I wrote an Asexual Newsletter which you can find here, about how his behaviour changed and about some of the signs of controlling behaviour that you may want to look out for! And about how sometimes, you have to be your own hero and save yourself and get out of a relationship that is no good for you, no matter how painful it may be: http://mailchi.mp/a50715303715/asexual-break-up-how-to-be-your-own-hero
These videos were hard for me to do, after the break-up!
After my hurt and pain started to heal! Here is my advice on how to get over relationship heartbreak and heartache!
Allow yourself to grieve, better out that in. Do not bottle it up!
Speak to family and friends to get their support.
Get your emotions out constructively and do blogging or YouTubing if you need to.
Do things that are not just distracting, but that are productive and help develop you as a person!
Asexual Awareness Week is from Sunday 22nd Oct-Sat 28th of October 2017. Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I asexual?” And, “What is Asexuality?
Have you ever thought to yourself; I am not that bothered about sex; I don’t want sex; I don’t need sex; I don’t love in that way; I am not that type of person; but you are scared of saying that out aloud because society usually validates relationships with how good your sex life is? And society keeps shoving sex down your throat – Buy this to get more sex! Have to this get more sex! You need sex to be happy! You need sex to love! You need sex to live! I am here to tell you, this simply is not true for everyone. And if this sounds like you, there is nothing wrong with you, you are likely to be asexual and that is a great thing, because it means you have the capacity to love and be loved, in a relationship, without sex.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is barely unheard of and deeply misunderstood. Many asexuals are asexual from birth, but do not realise it until much later in life. In fact, it was a fellow blogger who used to write about sex in an educative way, not a lustful way, that first suggested I was asexual. But back then I hated the fact the word had the word sexual in it, it sounded alien to me, and I quickly retorted back in a message that I just don’t associate sex with love, but I like kissing, and that was the end of that. I am not sure how many years that was prior to my discovery, but in 2014, I went to see a counsellor, because I could no longer go on dating heterosexuals as it used to make me almost wet myself at the thought of the expectation they would want it to lead to sex. When I told the counsellor I was worried that I would like a relationship, but that I may not be able to be in one again, because I don’t like sex, she said that I would need to have sex in order to keep a good guy!! I thought this can’t be right, surely there must be others like me, and why should I have to do something I don’t want to do, just to have a good relationship? So I went home and Googled ‘I love kissing but not sex’, and it came up with asexuality and www.asexuality.org which is the biggest online community for asexuals. I read some of their forums threads, before registering at a later date, and I really related to what they were saying and I thought, ‘Finally, there are people like me in the world, who can love and have relationships without sex, and who want relationships without sex, and I am not alone, and I never have to have sex again in my life’, it was such a relief!!
The full definition of asexuality is: Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, and/or little to no interest in sexual activities. Notice the OR. So although most asexuals are born asexual and do not realise it, there are a smaller number of people who identify as asexual later in life, because things have changed for them and they are permanently no longer interested in sexual activities, even if previously they lead a very heterosexual life. I was born asexual but did not realise it, and I was in heterosexual relationships for years, but I did not experience sexual attraction as I had no urge, need, or want to have sex, even with someone I loved. Although I have had sex in the past and my last long-term ex was good at it, I always preferred his kiss and finger to his penis, and had sex because I felt I had to!
Within the Asexuality sexual orientation, there are subcategories on something called the Asexual Spectrum. If you think of the A in Asexual to mean ‘absence’ of sexual attraction, you can’t go far wrong. So if you think of it as starting off as aromantic asexuals – those who are absent of romantic attraction and absent of sexual attraction, then the greyromantics, those that experience a little romance in certain circumstances but not sexual attraction, and the demi-romantics, those who can only experience romantic attraction, once a strong emotional bond has been formed, but not sexual attraction. Then there are the romantics. Within the romantics; those who experience romantic attraction, there are heteroromantics (attracted to the opposite sex or gender romantically but not sexually), which is what I am. I am only romantically attracted to guys. I want to kiss, hold hands and cuddle, but not have sex with them and I am never attracted to women. There are the homoromantics, (attracted to the same sex or gender romantically but not sexually), biromantics, (those attracted to both male and female romantically but not sexually), and panromantics, (those attracted to any gender romantically but not sexually, when I say any gender, this could include attraction towards those who are agenda and gender fluid). This list is not exhaustive, this is just the main ones. Then there are those asexuals on the more sexual end of the asexual spectrum, known as the grey asexuals and demi-sexuals. The grey asexuals, who are often also known as Grey A, or sometimes greysexuals, are those who experience sexual attraction but only under limited, or rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience sexual attraction but not enough to want to act on it. Grey asexual, also used to be a catch all term for those who are somewhere between asexual and sexual, but don’t quite fit into an asexual box. However, this definition is no longer on Aven Wiki. Which is a resource about asexuality from www.asexuality.org. In my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I redefine Grey A to mean asexual with Grey Areas, such as sexual behaviours. So my Grey Area for example is I love passionate kissing and I experience high levels of arousal, but I never experience sexual attraction. This means that I can exhibit some sexual behaviour, even though I never have a need, urge, or want for sex. But I don’t feel comfortable just saying I am a straightforward heteroromantic, because many heteroromantics don’t like kissing as much as I do, or how passionately as I do, so I don’t fit the Grey A box as it is described, but I have Grey Areas, which is why I think Grey A, should be a separate definition to grey asexual and greysexual. And finally we have the demisexuals, those who usually experience romantic attraction, but can only experience sexual attraction once a strong emotional bond is formed and this could take up to 2 years or more, for example. And this if you like, is where asexuality ends and the sexual spectrum starts. Although there are other asexual categories and subcategories, even within the categories I already mentioned, but I don’t want to confuse you as it’s a lot to get your head around. Subscribe to my channel if you want to know more about asexuality www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife