A Celebration of Life!


Hi everyone

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Cinnamon just had a bath.
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It’s sad to think I won’t have Cinnamon or my Grandma this Christmas.

This morning my Cinnamon died at home in his cage. He had been severely poorly. He had barely eaten all day on Saturday. I took Sunday off from my day job to take him to the vets. He had to have surgery on most of his teeth. The bottom ones, either side, that were curving over onto his tongue and had food trapped inbetween the gaps in his teeth, and the top teeth that had split. One of his bottom teeth had somehow broken off. He had bad side effects from the anaesthetic, including peeing blood. He had a fit and still wouldn’t eat or drink by himself, and this was ongoing until he died.
I rushed Cinnamon into the emergency vets on Monday morning. Then to my own vets after, where they kept him all day and syringe fed him. I rushed him into my own vets yesterday, after he went on his side and his eyes were closing. In the taxi, his body was convulsing. It was horrid to watch. At the vets he was okay, and they said it must have been seizures. They had him in for the day and syringe fed him. He made a few piggie noises which was a good sign, but he was still very sick. Each time at home, he would barely be able to stand up and kept sleeping. Although the vets believed that his teeth stopped him from eating, two x-rays revealed he had a mass near his kidney and abdomen, that wasn’t a fatty lump. If he didn’t eat by himself by Saturday, he would have had to have an operation to remove it, or he would have died. Nature took him sooner.

There is a saying; that says start each day afresh. I have had to start the same day afresh, and turn the page immediately to start a new chapter in my life. Although I have been grieving for Cinnamon, I have had to put Daisy first. She cannot live by herself; and won’t eat or drink without Cinnamon, and would go downhill and die herself if I had left her on her own. I took action before Cinnamon was taken by my parents to be buried.

While my parents were still in my home, I researched the internet for a new bigger, because I needed my dad to take me to get one. I phoned a breeder whose piggies had all gone; but the heavens were smiling down on me and my furry family, and she had a friend who was a breeder. This friend just happened to have one single female piggie that hadn’t been able to be paired, because she is so different. As you know, being quirky myself, I love different. I went and bought her this afternoon and said she looks like a chestnut, so that is what I have named her. Daisy started eating again shortly afterwards. At the moment they are all living happily ever after, and it isn’t a fairytale in the fictional sense; but a truly magical gift that Chestnut happened to be in the right place at the right time.
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Chestnut.
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Daisy and new life partner Chestnut.

I miss you Cinnamon so much and I love you with every beat of my heart. I am so very sorry I couldn’t have saved you my sweetheart. Thankyou for the wonderful memories we will always share. I feel pain and loss for you, and mummy will always love you and treasure every moment and every whisker twitch she had from, and with, you. You were the vet’s favourite and my handsome, sexy male pig. You could give the human males a run for their money with such stunning beauty as yours. I loved putting my fingers through your locks of hair, holding you upright in my hands, which you loved, and calling you my king. You loved being the head of the household and I will miss you so very much, my precious one. Know you will be in my heart, forever and always. I love you until the ends of time and forever.

These last few days have been so emotional for me. I have been on a knife’s edge, not knowing whether Cinnamon will live to see another day, or be gone in the blink of an eye. After a few strange noises this morning from Cinnamon’s cage and a couple of light switches on and off, to see what was happening. Cinnamon sadly passed away in his sleeping position. When I took him out of the cage, he was dead, but only just, I think, because his body was so warm. I may have seen the shallows of his last breaths, or I may not have done. One thing I do know, he was a fantastic character, a great headbutter, and I will always love him no matter what.

As I celebrate your life before passing, I welcome a new life into our quirky furry family. It’s hard, but I have to remain strong and get through it. I love you forever Cinnamon. God bless you and keep you safe in his cuddle always. Goodbye my special one. I love you implicitly and always will, forever more. May your soul be at peace now, as your journey continues on the other side. Night my sweet Cinnamon. Love you forever and ever in my heart.

I am out of words and devastated, but thankful for Chestnut coming into our lives to save Daisy.

Take care of you and each other. Life is too short not to care. If you love someone or care for someone, tell them. You only get one life, and the choices you make now, will shape your future forever.
Thank you to each and every one of you, for being part of my community, my quirky life, and my quirky world. God bless each and every one of you.

Always remember to embrace your quirky, keep writing, and lead the life that only you were born to lead.

Sandra

To feel alive – Start living!


Hi everyone

Thanks for all of your kind comments and support during this difficult time of my Grandma’s passing. Her funeral was yesterday and it went well considering it was a funeral. I read my entire poem without stumbling on my words. Being quirky, I made sure it was a funeral with a difference. I went around hugging everyone, including the people carrying the coffin, the guy playing the organ, the Funeral Director, the Vicar and all guests. I even had the Birdie Song playing us out of the crematorium. Me and my Grandma used to dance to that together and do the actions.

I used to suffer with depression and thankfully I have been free of it for about two and a half years. I cured myself, and still maintain a good head through sometimes very quirky, unconventional methods. I am well aware that I have to prevent myself from going back to that dreadful place ever again. I believe life is for living, to the fullest. Although my Grandma has passed, in the rest of my life, I am the happiest I have ever been and so grateful to be living a young life. In my mind, I am getting younger and I love it. I believe in order to feel alive, you must start living. Do things that make you feel fantastic, alive, enthusiastic, excited and passionate, over and over again, and never stop. I live in my own quirky magic bubble and so long as I am in that, life is beautiful.

My Grandma loved living a full and active life. Today is a new month and time for me to start living a new life. What wonderful opportunities will come my way? I wonder? After crying a lot this morning, this is the attitude I decided to take and I went to the cinema to feel alive and enjoy a part of my life in that moment.

In my usual quirky Roving Reporter style, here is my review of Maleficent. It is less that one minute long. Enjoy it and let me know what you think.

I am currently working on reformatting the interior of my Break through the barriers of redundancy book. It would seem that the CreateSpace templates have errors in them. One template I had 5 attempts to reformat and I had to scrap each one. Self publishing is hard but I am determined to publish my book.

Write when I can

Sandra

Pre-funeral prayer


As you know, it’s almost time to go to my Grandma’s funeral. 10.30am on Monday 30th of June.

It was a beautiful night catching the train to my parent’s house.

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God grant me the courage, to be mindful; thoughtful and present. To give my Grandma the send off she deserves; yet keep her close in my heart always.

Help me to be brave; to be calm in the moment, yet have energy when needed.

Help my to let my feelings out in a constructive way and to banish all fears. To love and to give, to cherish and to live.

God bless my Grandma. I love her xxxxxxxx

Keep writing, keep smiling.

Sandra

A celebration of life – I love you my dear Grandma


Think of death, not as the end
But as a celebration of life,
Of two souls meeting in a parallel Universe of different state and Matter.

Think of that place, as an Existance in time and space,
Think of it as the unspoken word,
The ever knowing, but never Talking, the calm and tranquillity,
The pleasure and sincerity, the Place where we shall meet but Never touch or embrace, it bears a Different face.

It is your face that I see in my time Of need, you hug me in the
Shadows,
You hug me in the light,
Both day and night.

I feel you watching over me,
How I long for your company,
The smiles, the laughter that we Shared,
Coming from absolutely nowhere.

The tender look, the open smile,
Makes the pain all worthwhile.
To have known you in a blessing,
To have felt you, was amazing,
To have you in my life, was Incredibly special and to have you in my heart always, is priceless.

I love you my dear Grandma.

How do you take time out for you?


Hi everyone

As many of you know, my Grandma died on Friday 13th while I held her hand. I am so glad I could be there for her at the end. Thank you so much for your support and kind comments during this very difficult time for me. Her funeral is on the 30th of June and I am away in London on the 4th, 5th and 6th of July, so it is going to be a very strange week. I have been allowed one week’s bereavement leave and go back to work this Saturday.

I am working less on my blogging and social media at the moment and taking time out for me. Being at home all of the time, is not good. Today I have gone out a lot more. One place I like to go to is the Quay in Exeter and that is where I am right now. It is not far from where I live and very beautiful. It has swans, geese and ducks. When I was a child, I used to feed the ducks in Dawlish with my Grandma and Grandad. It feels good to be here near the ducks, as I can think about her and feel close to her. The water is relaxing and calming. The fresh air is great for me.

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These baby swans were much smaller in the last photo I posted.

How do you to take time out for you?

Write when I can
Sandra

How do you take time out for you?


Hi everyone

As many of you know, my Grandma died on Friday 13th while I held her hand. I am so glad I could be there for her at the end. Thank you so much for your support and kind comments during this very difficult time for me. Her funeral is on the 30th of June and I am away in London on the 4th, 5th and 6th of July, so it is going to be a very strange week. I have been allowed one week’s bereavement leave and go back to work this Saturday.

I am working less on my blogging and social media at the moment and taking time out for me. Being at home all of the time, is not good. Today I have gone out a lot more. One place I like to go to is the Quay in Exeter and that is where I am right now. It is not far from where I live and very beautiful. It has swans, geese and ducks. When I was a child, I used to feed the ducks in Dawlish with my Grandma and Grandad. It feels good to be here near the ducks, as I can think about her and feel close to her. The water is relaxing and calming. The fresh air is great for me.

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These baby swans were much smaller in the last photo I posted.

How do you to take time out for you?

Write when I can
Sandra