Do you see the light?

Hi everyone


It can be very easy to slip into a negative state of mind, when everything seems to be going wrong or not as planned. As one thing builds on top of another, it is extremely important to still see the light.

One of my mottos is – Through the downs comes the ups – So if I am experiencing a lot of downs, it must mean there is a ton of ups coming my way.

I didn’t always used to think so positively, in fact, I used to be very negative and in a depressive state, but when I was made redundant for the second time in my career, in 2009, my life began to change for the better.

It’s been a while since my last blog post. To give you a quick update, after being off sick from my day job for 4 weeks, I went back to work and got an upper respiratory infection and had to be off another week. I went back to work part-time last week and today is my first day working full-time. If I am off sick for a third time this year, before the 5th of December, I am due to be investigated and possibly have a first written warning. I don’t feel that this would be fair, as I have doctor’s notes and was taken to hospital by ambulance whilst in a work meeting, for my first illness. Nevertheless, that’s the situation.

I am still self-employed and so long as I do that, I will always be in work, but I currently do need my day job to pay the bills.

After my illustrator moved the book completion deadline from Monday 20th to Wednesday 22nd, and I started back to work on the Tuesday 21st, I had to work throughout the night on Tuesday, to get my book finished for Wednesday morning.

Although in theory I did finish the book and the cover is now complete, I am still working on the index and book content. Whilst the number of pages has to remain the same, I am adding some text and cutting some out to make improvements to it, before uploading it to Amazon. It needs to be the best it can be.

I start teaching again next week, on one of my days off from my day job, and yesterday I had to attend a tutor meeting.

Yesterday, I also got my four furry babies back from their long vacation at my parents. Daisy has recovered well after major surgery to remove a lump that turned out to be a hair follicle cyst that had got badly infected.

At the moment I teach on a self-employed basis but I have recently been offered a contract with the NHS to go on their staff bank, with a new job title and 69p per hour pay rise. I don’t work many hours for them but I still think it’s fantastic. I have to have an informal interview with them before becoming staff. That I can hopefully do soon because I am feeling better than I was. I have had to stop taking one of my tablets because it was giving me bad side effects and even working part-time last week, was a struggle towards the end of the week.

My Grandma was very poorly with an infection before her birthday but is off anti-biotics and thankfully seems to have improved.

I got upset when I visited her and she said to me, “I want you to hold my hand until my name is called.”

Me and my Grandma have a special bond, I can usually understand her when no one else can and when anything does happen to her, I will be devastated. We just ‘get’ each other. Whilst some others, just don’t.

I have faith that there is light at the end of this down tunnel and that I still have lots to look forward to in 2014. The teaching contract is a great achievement for me, as I got a teacher/trainer PTTLS Level 4 qualification in 2012, but I couldn’t get a teaching job back then because I didn’t have enough experience. Consequently, I went back into retail for a 16th year. Ironically, since working in retail, I now have a teching job.

I want to thank you for your patience, time and understanding whilst I finish my Break through the barriers of redundancy book.

I know I haven’t visited many of your blogs recently or left many comments and I thank you for your loyalty and support whilst I finish my book. I have people waiting for it to be published so they can buy it. Therefore, I do need to take more time out to do just that.

I hope if you are experiencing a lot of downs, that you too, can see the light.

Write as soon as I am able to

30 thoughts on “Do you see the light?

  1. Oh Sandra, so sorry for all you have had to deal with, but as you say, there really is light at the end of the tunnel and you are so optimistic even in light of all these problems. Things are working out slowly and I’m sure that this year will see wonderful things happening for you. Great news about the NHS and I do hope that you won’t be investigated at work, it doesn’t sound right to me that they can do that.


  2. I have every faith in you Sandra. Everything will work out fine for you. Wishing you better health and renewed inner strength at this time. “The sun is always shining, you need only remove the clouds” – one of my favourite quotes (not by me) but a nice reminder that any blips are only temporary. You’re a winner, Sandra. Lots of love x P.S. Let me know when your book goes on sale 🙂


    1. Bless you Louise, your encouragement is great. I will let you know when my book goes on sale. I will be publishing the print version first. I am finalising the copyright assignment with my illustrator and have a few improvements to make and things to add before I publish it. Cinnamon has more lumps and so I have to get him to see the vet in the next couple of days. I have a tutor meeting and doctor’s review tomorrow. Thanks for believing in me and calling me a winner. As failure is not an option, I intend to live up to that title. I thoroughly hope you enjoy reading my Break through the barriers of redundancy book when it is published.


  3. Continued good health and successes in all things.
    Life is a challenge, plans, what are they? 🙂
    Counting blessings helps – to stave off the negative.
    Sometimes I have to make friends with the shadows…
    And live with the bitter cold this particular winter season is bringing.

    I will continue to write – and maybe one day look into publishing. As that does seem to be the next logical step. But poetry, however many say is making a come-back, is still a small community 🙂 So I shall continue to look after my young grandchildren, tolerate the travels for work my hubby has to take and look forward to seeing rainbows – even if I have to make them!

    Cheers and thanks for your visit. ~Jules


  4. Oh my goodness! You have had so much on your plate – sometimes living takes up so much of your time, doesn’t it? Lovely words about your grandmother. It’s wonderful that she and you have such a tight bond. We all need that with someone and to have it span your lifetime is a thing of beauty.

    Take time to breathe!


    1. Hi Marge, it’s lovely to hear from you. I keep having to remind myself to breathe. It can be difficult to have time to do that. I enjoy living, just wish I had more time to focus on the things I enjoy most, such a writing, being with my pigs and spending time with family and friends.


  5. I think your job is being just downright nasty. To say they are going to investigate you and give you a written warning even though you have doctors notes is out of order. I would go to the CAB and see where you stand on that as I am sure that they can’t do that.

    I hope that your upper comes very soon, Sandra. You deserve some good stuff about now

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Al. It states the next stage is an investigation and possible first written warning. I have spoke to a Union Rep for USDAW that I am part of and I have to write a letter to state how I feel about my infair treatment and all of the details of how it is unfair. I can’t disclose the details here but it’s going to be hard for me and I may feel I have to look for another job. Unfortunately, having Fibromyalgia means I am limited to what I can do.


      1. In general, I manage it well but I seem to have a lower immune system than I used to have, and it takes me longer to recover from illnesses. I can’t lift much above my head otherwise I get spasms in my arms and I get pain in my neck, back and arms from old injuries. My worst pain is in my legs so I have to sit down a lot. My feet can swell and I need to have regular toilet and food breaks. Normally I wouldn’t say much about it, as I would rather be known as Sandra, Writer and Business Woman rather than Sandra with Fibro. I just wanted to explain how it affects me, so you can understand how it limits what jobs I can do.


      2. Yeah I understand that. I know that when you reach up, it pulls on all of your muscles and the pain from that, with Fibro, can be debilitating. The reason your immune system is lower, is because the body spends a lot of its energy combating the pain and the FM.


      3. I have a few friends who suffer from it, and I have asked them what the effects are. Plus I have a friend with Gout, someone with Lupus (besides Kim) because when I first heard she had Lupus, I asked her if she would turn into a werewolf lol.

        I think that when it comes to someone with an ongoing condition, the boss should research what that condition is and how it affects day to day life.


      4. Not sure who Kim is. My boss has a daughter with an ongoing condition and she used to be more understanding. Ever since I had some customer problems that I needed help with, and I felt I didn’t have her support at the time, things have been getting a bit difficult. She was good about me having time off when Daisy had her first operation and her stitches came undone. I can’t really go into more detail.


      5. Kim is from Silently Heard Once.

        I understand about not being able to go into more detail. There are some things that shouldn’t be, or can’t be, talked about in public. It sounds like your boss is a bit of an a-hole 😦


  6. What a lot you have had on your plate Sandra. Hope you are feeling lots better but I know infections can still leave you feeling under par for ages afterwards. Wish I lived nearer and I could give you a bit of support or even just a hug 🙂
    Wishing you a massive breakthrough into the light very soon! Take care!


    1. Thanks Carolyn, that is so sweet of you. I am still worried about my health even though I am feeling a lot better because I am still taking some medication for my first illness, that originated from me having to go to hospital. I have stopped taking one of the tablets because of the bad side effects I felt it was causing me. My teaching session for this Monday has been cancelled due to a lack of students. I have a meeting with my Business Advisor tomorrow and then with my co-tutor later on.


  7. Crikey, life is certainly keeping you on your toes…I have noticed a lot of posts accentuating the positive in less than pleasant conversation. I am right patient me, take your time and we will see you when you are able to write!


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